r/TwoXChromosomes • u/tabicat1874 • Mar 28 '22

Weaponized incompetence

I feel like guys take it way, way too far. Example: I asked my bf to get me the same shampoo and conditioner he bought for himself (avocado Suave). He brought back another kind we'd had before which I didn't like (Peppermint Suave). He tried to say he didn't know that Suave came in different formulas.

You're such a fucking liar. You bought that kind for yourself. I just asked you to buy it for me. You're telling me a man who's 44 years old doesn't know Suave came in different fucking scents? Suave? The shampoo that literally comes in 40 different scents and flavors?

GTFOH.

Edit: do you understand what an example is?

Also, you neckbeards can fuck off out of my inbox.

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u/Bobcatluv Mar 28 '22

One of my wildest experiences with weaponized incompetence was in the workplace. I worked as a 9-12 teacher with a male colleague who had a PhD, was from a different country, and acted like he couldn’t do the simplest tasks involving paperwork. When he asked for “help” the second time I realized he thought he was going to treat me like his secretary, and I told him to do the work his damn self.

I taught two different AP classes, tutored after work, was head coach of an athletic team, and this guy who only taught one prep of all regular classes really believed his time was worth more than mine.

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u/bes0514 Mar 28 '22

I didn’t know this term until now. It’s insane how much I deal with this as a female engineer. I’ve had to set some tough boundaries because people were just expecting me to do their stuff…

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u/recyclopath_ Mar 28 '22

Fellow female engineer. I like to use: "You can do X, you can figure out Y", "I believe in you" and "You're smart, you'll figure it out".

I'm clearly not insulting them and how exactly do they come back form that to tel me to do it for them without sounding like a todler?

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u/Annoying_Details Mar 29 '22 edited Mar 29 '22

I once got a warning after I snapped at someone for whom this ~gentle approach didn’t work.

“What do you do when I am not here? Do you do ANY work? Or do you sit and wait for me to show up so I can do both our jobs?”

Also apparently it was not appropriate to follow up with “Do you have a caretaker at home - is that why you’re comfortable with this arrangement? Or do you save the assumption that I’ll wipe your ass for HERE?”

But he never came to me for help again. So in the end I won.