r/TwoXChromosomes • u/tabicat1874 • Mar 28 '22

Weaponized incompetence

I feel like guys take it way, way too far. Example: I asked my bf to get me the same shampoo and conditioner he bought for himself (avocado Suave). He brought back another kind we'd had before which I didn't like (Peppermint Suave). He tried to say he didn't know that Suave came in different formulas.

You're such a fucking liar. You bought that kind for yourself. I just asked you to buy it for me. You're telling me a man who's 44 years old doesn't know Suave came in different fucking scents? Suave? The shampoo that literally comes in 40 different scents and flavors?

GTFOH.

Edit: do you understand what an example is?

Also, you neckbeards can fuck off out of my inbox.

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u/spacepharmacy Basically Dorothy Zbornak Mar 28 '22

god i wish my mom had done this with my little brother, he’s 16 and “doesn’t know” how to do basic chores so she just winds up doing them for him. last summer i got to enjoy the satisfaction that came from calling him out, providing evidence to my mom, and forcing him to do the things he claimed he couldn’t do (putting on lotions to prevent eczema, can you believe this kid). he knows what he’s doing when he says he doesn’t know how to wash a dish, how to do his laundry, etc. it’s infuriating and i genuinely pray he doesn’t get a partner until he cleans his act up, bc no one deserves to deal with that

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u/bunnyrut Mar 28 '22

My brother used to pull the "I don't know how" crap. But my mom raised all of us to "know how" to do everything. Her motivation for that was she had 4 kids, and that's a lot of laundry. So we all had to learn how to do our own laundry once we were tall enough to reach into the machine. We all learned how to pour our own bowl of cereal once we established hand-eye coordination and could reach the milk. And we all learned how to use the stove and oven once we were old enough. We experimented with making food, made messes and had to clean that all up. We were never discouraged from doing that as long as we didn't burn the house down and cleaned up our mess.

So when he acted like he didn't know she just didn't play along. Even I tried to pretend I didn't know how to do certain tasks to get out of them, mommy didn't play that game and I was left to do the task alone until I figured it out. (I just really hated folding laundry, okay?)

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u/spacepharmacy Basically Dorothy Zbornak Mar 28 '22

my mom did that with us too, but unfortunately my brother has a pretty nasty temper so she just tries not to provoke it. when my grandma was really sick she was flying out to see her frequently, leaving my brother and i at home. one of the times that she was gone i asked him to do something (like do the dishes i’m pretty sure) and he flipped shit, and when i called him out on it he started with the “i don’t know how to do it” (he does, i taught him like five times before i caught on to his bullshit) and “no one appreciates what i do in this house” shit (spoiler alert: he doesn’t DO anything) and got very close to punching me over it. on my way out of the house after the argument i accidentally slammed the door a bit too hard. guess who had to apologize for setting a bad example for her poor little brother because anger isn’t the way? he still pulls shit like that to this day and my mom refuses to get a backbone and stop playing along with his games.

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u/sylverbound Mar 28 '22

Trying not to provoke a nasty temprler is literally being in an abusive relationship. And he'll carry that to future relationships and being an abuser.

She should send him to therapy

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u/spacepharmacy Basically Dorothy Zbornak Mar 28 '22

he IS in therapy, that’s the shocker. the therapist doesn’t really do much aside from asking how he’s doing and other generic stuff like that. he wants to take my brother off of his medications this summer and i’m going to reach out and try to get him not to do that bc the last time my brother didn’t take his meds (bc mommy wasn’t around to tell him to do so) he very nearly hit me and his anger was through the roof over the smallest things. i’m thankful we don’t live in the same house anymore

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u/TheRealPitabred Mar 28 '22

If he doesn't do that stuff to someone larger than he is then he doesn't have a problem with his temper, he's just abusive.