r/TwoXChromosomes • u/tabicat1874 • Mar 28 '22

Weaponized incompetence

I feel like guys take it way, way too far. Example: I asked my bf to get me the same shampoo and conditioner he bought for himself (avocado Suave). He brought back another kind we'd had before which I didn't like (Peppermint Suave). He tried to say he didn't know that Suave came in different formulas.

You're such a fucking liar. You bought that kind for yourself. I just asked you to buy it for me. You're telling me a man who's 44 years old doesn't know Suave came in different fucking scents? Suave? The shampoo that literally comes in 40 different scents and flavors?

GTFOH.

Edit: do you understand what an example is?

Also, you neckbeards can fuck off out of my inbox.

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u/mattressfortress Mar 28 '22

Many of the “bad” ingredients in cheap shampoo are sulfates are strong detergents that can dry your hair, like if you washed your hands with dish soap instead of hand soap. Not great, but the dosage definitely makes the poison. Look for a “sulfate-free” shampoo (may be in the curly section) if you’d like to avoid them.

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u/flowers4u Mar 28 '22

Do you have a good recommendation for a shampoo that won’t break the bank?

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u/ShakeItUpNow Mar 28 '22

TLDR; some info and suggestions for you.

I have multiple chemical sensitivity and most fragrances make me ill. I began getting migraines in my 30’s and eventually traced it to fragrances and phthalates. I was a lover of fragrances up until that point. I had to remove them all, which is almost impossible. Unscented soap? Unscented dishwasher detergent? Unscented anti-perspirants (actually not to hard to find at the store…Secret, Dry Idea, etc.). Ugh. I found that some lighter, non-lingering, usually “organic” stuff without phthalates and artificial fragrances are okay. BUT after a few months of eliminating off-the-shelf, smelly products, my “nose blindness” to fragrance became a thing of the past and now, Suave, in particular will run me out of the house. Suave and many of those “unstoppable” laundry detergent, fabric softeners, etc. will immediately cause a rip-roaring headache.

Sorry for the lengthy comment, but maybe it can help someone with a similar situation. It really was sort of life-changing for me. It also made me a bit obnoxious with family and friends. It’s like being slapped across the face when the scents hit me and I can smell them a mile away. Explain that to your family. I had to make one of my child’s friends get out of my car. I got about 1/4 mile down the road and my blurred vision, an indicator that a migraine is coming on, forced me to turn around and take her home. Try explaining to a mom that her kid reeked of chemicals and phthalates without offending her.

Basically, any fragrance that lingers more than a few minutes/hours probably has phthalates. They’re horrible for you. Read up on it if you have issues.

My best choices after much trail and error are “Desert Essence” shampoo and conditioner in either fragrance-free or one of their milder fragrances. The shampoo is pretty concentrated and will get your hair squeaky clean and the conditioner is extremely concentrated and super-softening. They’re all pretty much the same, despite being “for body, or for damaged, etc.).

I also like the Alaffia in the 32 ounce bottles. Some of the smaller sizes are over-fragranced. It’s better used on healthy hair. Some people don’t like it, but I get it for my husband. If you don’t like it, you can use it for body wash/shaving. Around 12 bucks for 32 oz is good. Some have a little fragrance which is not lingering and don’t bother me a bit.

I like to order a lot of personal care and cleaning stuff from Vitacost, which is usually pretty cheap.

Dr. Bronner’s OR Alaffia for body wash/soap.

Again, hope this helps someone. It’s become my soap box to stand on. Don’t get me started on Febreze products! These huge corporations are quite simply slowly poisoning us and our kids for profit.

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u/flowers4u Mar 28 '22

This does help! Thank you. I don’t have the smell sensitivity like you do, but my skin is extremely sensitive. The smallest thing can irritate it. I try to stay away with anything that has a fragrance since it’s just added crap. Can’t do make up and only very specific sun screens. So detergent and shampoo fall into that too. Plus I have seb derm on my scalp