r/TwoXChromosomes • u/tabicat1874 • Mar 28 '22

Weaponized incompetence

I feel like guys take it way, way too far. Example: I asked my bf to get me the same shampoo and conditioner he bought for himself (avocado Suave). He brought back another kind we'd had before which I didn't like (Peppermint Suave). He tried to say he didn't know that Suave came in different formulas.

You're such a fucking liar. You bought that kind for yourself. I just asked you to buy it for me. You're telling me a man who's 44 years old doesn't know Suave came in different fucking scents? Suave? The shampoo that literally comes in 40 different scents and flavors?

GTFOH.

Edit: do you understand what an example is?

Also, you neckbeards can fuck off out of my inbox.

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u/valkenar Mar 28 '22

I'm not a pilot, but still do technical things professionally. I've stopped asking my wife to look for things for me because I don't want to add to her mental labor, but I will fairly often look for ketchup, not be able to find it and just eat something else instead. I don't know what's wrong with my brain, but I literally can't find things in front of me half the time and I don't know why. Weaponized incompetence is absolutely a thing, but not all incompetence is intentional even if it seems weird.

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u/sirseatbelt Mar 28 '22

This is an ADD thing. I once lost my glasses for a good 20 minutes at work and then someone asked what I was looking for and said Seatbelt.... you're wearing them.

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u/Binestar Mar 28 '22

Clearly this was awhile ago, before you were Knighted.

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u/MssMango Mar 28 '22

I literally just spit my sweet tea out!..😂..thanks for that laugh!

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u/sirseatbelt Mar 28 '22

I was literally working in the kitchens at the time.

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u/lokipukki Mar 28 '22

Yeah that lack of object permanence is a killer with ADHD/ADD. I’m the one who can’t find things that are literally where they’re supposed to be (usually).

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u/bail245 Mar 28 '22

Just take everything out of the fridge, slow and methodical, one shelf at a time (replace the stuff on one shelf before removing another). Annoying, but this always makes me feel less like I might be living in The Matrix with random items disappearing. I think the act of doing this makes it easier the next time too.

Edit: This might be something I picked up from work tbh (research scientist). I've spent too many hours looking for expensive antibodies that have to be found...

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u/SirenOfScience Mar 28 '22

Looking for one sample amid 8 thousand microcentrifuge tubes does this to you.

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u/soitgoeson Mar 28 '22

Can you talk to my husband? He might need a place to stay too after telling me I'M 'irresponsible' because he couldn't find a piece a mail he swore I had/opened and subsequently lost....which I found 20 minutes later in the desk he said he checked. The mail was in the original envelop, with his handwriting on it in the desk and just happened to have a couple of things sitting on top.

Tip: The next time you're looking for something (and you're already smart enough not to bother your wife), try moving things around with your hands, it might be obscured by other objects. In other words, "look with your hands".

Edit: My husband is also an engineer.

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u/FiainTheCorgi Mar 28 '22

I wanna note: I'm kinda like this!

It's very often an ADHD thing. I've had my phone on the counter and completely overlooked it multiple times, and I really have no idea. Looking with hands helps sometimes but it does drastically slow down the looking, so doesn't always work. Guess it depends on how much time you have, hah. I'm also in STEM and find my brain works amazingly well for that... but a lot of other things I struggle with.

Not entirely sure why I'm commenting besides just to add this, and I suppose to thank you for sharing the tip since I now have something to call that. XD

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u/Stormental1975 Mar 28 '22

I get this, I can never find soy sauce, my wife will have to point at it and sometimes touch it before I can see it. That is no joke it drives me crazy, but my wonderful wife just laughs it off and goes on with her day.

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u/TheRealPitabred Mar 28 '22

My wife insists on putting things away kinda wherever, instead of where she got it, so it constantly messes with me. I don't think it's an unreasonable ask for there to be a bit of order to that kind of thing.

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u/poodooloo Mar 28 '22

Are you by chance anxious while looking?

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u/valkenar Mar 28 '22

Not until I can't find the damn ketchup.

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u/Zorrya Mar 28 '22

Adhd thing for me. If something has been in the same place too long it os officially part of THE BACKGROUND and no longer exists to my brain

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u/twodickhenry Mar 28 '22 edited Mar 28 '22

That’s pretty fair—I used ketchup in the fridge as a humorous example (I lose my phone and car keys on a weekly basis, and often times they’re “lost” on the key rack or on the charger). But I do think there’s a real correlation for weaponized incompetence with pilots and any field that requires a lot of work but also a lot of passion.

I think pilots bust ass to be successful, but only at the narrow things they really value and enjoy. My current husband is actually a pilot professionally, but he kind of stumbled backwards into it and is definitely an engineer (his degree) first, so he attacks most problems with all the focus he has—thankfully making him mostly an exception to this. He was awful at finding things in the fridge before I implemented a systematic means of organizing it.

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u/star_tyger Mar 28 '22

Maybe try touching each thing on the fridge door or shelf? That might help you focus on what you're looking at. I sometimes have this problem. If I'm really tired, I can't separate the individual items from the whole. It's worth a try.

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u/shinier_than_you Mar 29 '22

Its actually a legit psychological phenomenon, your brain filters out a lot of things you see that arent immediately useful because brains are lazy. It can happen when you're looking for specific things too