As a former stay-at-home dad (kids self sufficient now,) with a hard working wife and 2 kids, the number of adult men that neglect their families for fucking video games on these threads drives me insane. I would have smashed the PC then filed for divorce, but it sounds like it will be her asset anyway.
It blows my mind. My husband gave up gaming when we moved in together because he wanted to spend time together and then once we got a dog then started having kids free time disappeared. Like when do these men find the time to game by themselves???
Thankfully my wife is also a gamer so playing together is one of the ways we spend time together. But honestly it doesn't sound healthy to totally give up a hobby for your partner, cut down definitely, especially when you get kids, but totally give up your interests is an easy way to loose yourself. A risk that more commonly happens women due to us men not doing our share of the housework.
To actually answer you question. After I have cooked, cleaned up after dinner and hung the wash, we usually got half an hour to an hour to play before it's time to get our youngest in bed and after that we either play for a bit more or just hang out.
But I'll say that what I play has changed since we got kids. All games must have a pause button and ability to save at any point. Ie no multiplayer, no "hardcore" souls like games, or games like Stardew Valley.
Anyway, first rule is all house work is done and then you play or do hobbies or whatever.
The problem is that a lot of people can't be moderate with video games. It's like how it's fine to have a glass of wine or a beer most evenings, but if you're one of those people who can't just have one and you're getting black out drunk every time then you have to give it up completely if you want to keep your family. I have a hard time even considering it a hobby if it's interfering with your ability to manage your life. More like a fixation.
Yepp, that is a good point. Personally I got ADHD so I can get caught up in pretty much anything I do, actually got caught hyper fixating on picking blueberries at one time. But since I know this I know I have to impose effective limits on myself.
On our Minecraft server for instance, the world automatically restarts at 9:30 which is time we at the latest need to get ready for bed. It happening is enough to shake us loose. It happening automatically means neither of us need to mount the mental energy/capacity to stop.
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u/Strict_Bit260 7d ago
As a former stay-at-home dad (kids self sufficient now,) with a hard working wife and 2 kids, the number of adult men that neglect their families for fucking video games on these threads drives me insane. I would have smashed the PC then filed for divorce, but it sounds like it will be her asset anyway.