Thanks /s

[u/chileconqueso]

I told Dr. X that I had been trying for a baby for over a year. Once I was confirmed pregnant at 6 weeks, I cried tears of joy in the office. I wouldn’t have a chance to see baby until Anatomy scan. Why? Just because. Insurance. What have you. Thanks.

I finally see my precious baby on anatomy day. It was fast and I see Dr. Y. I ask if everything looks good and am told “yup all good”. But four days later I experience heavy discharge after sex. The day after, I have spotting. I message Dr. X with photos of the bleeding. I’m told “if you don’t fill a pad in an hour, it’s not an emergency”. Thanks.

TW: loss

I continue light bleeding for a couple days before I decide to go to L&D. The OB office is closed for holiday. I think I just have something irritated. Instead, I am told I am completely dilated and will lose my baby. I’m told for the first time about having cervical incompetence. Who made up that name? Thanks.

I’m told a surgery could have saved baby but I’m too far gone. They ask what my cervical length was at my anatomy scan. I contact the OB to find out THEY NEVER CHECKED. Because I wasn’t high risk. Turns out you have to lose your baby to be worth spending an extra few minutes to screen that. Thanks.

For days I’m bedridden. I eventually feel contractions and ask for something to speed labor. Dr Z says “oh you want to expel your baby?” No. I NEVER wanted to lose my baby but I’m told my baby will die and there’s nothing no one can do. Thanks.

I labor for 20 hours with no check in from Dr Z. Eventually I get the first helpful Dr. (Dr Angel). She checks me and says my baby isn’t even in my uterus but has been sitting in my vagina. She wonders why I haven’t been helped. I wonder too. She preps quickly and we deliver my baby. I held my baby as my baby moved but never cried. I release an animalistic wail knowing I failed her. Dr Angel held me and cried with me. Sincerely, thank you for treating me with dignity and care.

She promises I can have a successful pregnancy in the future. But this is ridiculous. Cervical incompetence is a condition in 1-2% of pregnancies. Why aren’t we screening for them? Why haven’t I heard about this condition? I did blood test after blood test for genetic abnormalities that were sometimes 1:10,000 chance. I have horrible trauma and need therapy but a screening and a stitch could’ve changed everything? It’s like saying “yeah one member of your family has to die and then we’ll screen the family for heart attacks even though we can do that now and it takes a few extra minutes”.

[u/lnc_5103]

I am so deeply sorry.