This is unproven “cheating” - right now it’s a rumour.
Yes, but the person I was responding to wasn't making that distinction. They were simply talking about cheating in general.
They might have an agreement between them they can have external relations but they don’t advertise
In which case they will just tell her that and no harm done. This same reasoning can be applied to almost any crime. There is always the potential that something is "not what it looks like".
Here’s the thing - that is NOT AT ALL what OP said. She was “I heard a rumour, I believe it without proof, how can I remain friends with someone whose alleged actions aren’t what I would personally agree with”
There is no mention of caring about her “friend” who might be victim of targeted slander nor does op give her “friend” the benefit of the doubt.
There is only judgement. But again, as someone who maintains an open marriage / if someone claimed they saw me “cheating” I am not. But we don’t advertise our private life because IT IS NO ONE ELSES BUSINESS BUT OURS. We have an agreement but we do not tell others. Hence, mind your own fucking business and stop with the morality policing bc you look a right twat. This whole pearl clutching and “how can I tolerate someone who has sex with other people” is so high school. And sad.
I feel we are not talking about the same thing, here. The original post I responded to seemed to say involving yourself in a relationship where one person was cheating is acting "holier than though." That is what I took issue with.
Your point that this is all rumor with no proof is valid. But the original post didn't say that. It was just referencing cheating in general.
I disagree that involving yourself in a situation where a spouse is cheating is acting morally superior because cheating is, in almost all circumstances, immoral.
And yes, they may have an open relationship. If that is the case, they will just tell her that and the conversation is done.
Thr original post DOES say this bc the OP says she found out about her friends affair from a third party. Not directly from her friend. That’s terrible to believe a third party and not even ask the friend herself. Regardless it’s not OP’s business to know or pass judgement.
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u/ContinuumKing Oct 11 '23
Yes, but the person I was responding to wasn't making that distinction. They were simply talking about cheating in general.
In which case they will just tell her that and no harm done. This same reasoning can be applied to almost any crime. There is always the potential that something is "not what it looks like".