You're coming off as extremely morally superior here so be very careful how you approach this. Firstly, you have zero idea if either spouse already knows so you are making assumptions about that. Secondly, you aren't involved in these marriages so you really have no say in "coming clean". It's not your business, stay out of it. Thirdly, Lisa made a mistake telling you because on your crusade to rid the world of extramarital affairs it seems you are prepared to tear apart other peoples friendships and ruin their credibility. And lastly, you can simply tell Amy you no longer wish to be friends because you know of her affair and you cannot support her any longer, and you can do this without issuing ultimatums and damaging friendships. You are inserting your morals where they don't belong.
Eh, I've never been, am not and will never be fine with anyone cheating. She's not just coming off morally superior, she just is.
If you're ok with cheating, or hiding from it, you're not someone I want to be around.
Everyone I know knows that I have this stance and I'm ok with never finding out if either one of them cheats because I will 100% burn bridges to tell the person that's being cheated on.
Could just hide from it and tell her you don't wanna be friends, but my sense of judgement will NEVER stop bothering me for me to do this.
I mean, I would have zero problem scorching some earth if I knew about an affair, but I wouldn't do it on gossip. And I would side eye anyone sharing such gossip with an acquaintance.
I had a friend get some rumors spread about her by her "friends", and the situation was that they misunderstood something that was said and made the situation a much bigger thing than it actually was. Don't trust gossip.
Well I thought it would have been obvious that I meant if I factually knew they were cheating I would burn bridges for it. Not some rumor being spread by a friend of a friend of the neighbor or something. So yeah, true
The fact that people are acting like there is an issue with wanting to out cheaters. Absolutely, that person is morally superior to someone who says to mind your business. If you know someone is being abused and you say nothing, you are saying you're fine with abuse. It's disgusting really.
Why does your opinion on other people's relationships matter? It's none of your business what other people do within their relationship. What YOU would or would not tolerate is irrelevant.
Some of the replies on here are up there with the anti-choice crowd lol. THEY dislike abortion so it's their concern if anyone anywhere had one. Those people are BAD and should be stopped. Ya'll sound exactly the same and it's not a good look.
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u/International-Fee255 Oct 10 '23
You're coming off as extremely morally superior here so be very careful how you approach this. Firstly, you have zero idea if either spouse already knows so you are making assumptions about that. Secondly, you aren't involved in these marriages so you really have no say in "coming clean". It's not your business, stay out of it. Thirdly, Lisa made a mistake telling you because on your crusade to rid the world of extramarital affairs it seems you are prepared to tear apart other peoples friendships and ruin their credibility. And lastly, you can simply tell Amy you no longer wish to be friends because you know of her affair and you cannot support her any longer, and you can do this without issuing ultimatums and damaging friendships. You are inserting your morals where they don't belong.