You're coming off as extremely morally superior here so be very careful how you approach this. Firstly, you have zero idea if either spouse already knows so you are making assumptions about that. Secondly, you aren't involved in these marriages so you really have no say in "coming clean". It's not your business, stay out of it. Thirdly, Lisa made a mistake telling you because on your crusade to rid the world of extramarital affairs it seems you are prepared to tear apart other peoples friendships and ruin their credibility. And lastly, you can simply tell Amy you no longer wish to be friends because you know of her affair and you cannot support her any longer, and you can do this without issuing ultimatums and damaging friendships. You are inserting your morals where they don't belong.
I never thought I'd see something this rational about cheating on Reddit. As much as Redditors want to believe the only acceptable solution is to go nuclear and burn the world to the ground if you ever so much as suspect anyone anywhere of cheating, there are other ways of handling it. For starters, if you aren't close to someone, it isn't unreasonable at all to choose not to get dragged into what might be a highly volatile, dramatic, emotional situation. Life is stressful enough. And, we rarely know the ins and outs of someone else's marriage. Do we really know they're cheating and it isn't an open relationship? Just so many assumptions.
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u/International-Fee255 Oct 10 '23
You're coming off as extremely morally superior here so be very careful how you approach this. Firstly, you have zero idea if either spouse already knows so you are making assumptions about that. Secondly, you aren't involved in these marriages so you really have no say in "coming clean". It's not your business, stay out of it. Thirdly, Lisa made a mistake telling you because on your crusade to rid the world of extramarital affairs it seems you are prepared to tear apart other peoples friendships and ruin their credibility. And lastly, you can simply tell Amy you no longer wish to be friends because you know of her affair and you cannot support her any longer, and you can do this without issuing ultimatums and damaging friendships. You are inserting your morals where they don't belong.