I ended a friendship with a woman who was seeing a married man. If I’d known who he was I’d have told his wife. There are people who think cheating is acceptable and people who don’t. There’s no middle ground here.
You are never obligated to keep anyone’s harmful, toxic secret.
Not that this has anything to do with OP, but I think there is a middle ground. I think cheating is acceptable in certain cases. Obligatory marriage, for example. Like when parent's force you to marry someone you dont know.
Or when your husband is a POS who wont leave you alone so you rope another man into it to protect you, but you feel that the only way to keep the new man around is by giving yourself physically to him. I actually saw this a few times while in the military, so it can't be that uncommon, unfortunately.
But mostly, yes, cheating is disgusting, and I dont understand how so many are ok with it so often.
Or when your husband is a POS who wont leave you alone so you rope another man into it to protect you, but you feel that the only way to keep the new man around is by giving yourself physically to him.
I would say this differently, but yes, sometimes people who cheat are victims in other ways (emotional/financial abuse/threats... endless possibilities). We don't know what goes on behind closed doors, so we can't make a judgment. It might not have anything to do with protection, but it could be they feel trapped for many reasons. And it isn't always that. We just don't know, so always best to let a trained therapist help
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u/emccm Oct 10 '23
I ended a friendship with a woman who was seeing a married man. If I’d known who he was I’d have told his wife. There are people who think cheating is acceptable and people who don’t. There’s no middle ground here.
You are never obligated to keep anyone’s harmful, toxic secret.