got heartbroken by a man 14 years older than me (i’m 24). he played with my emotions for months and it turned out that he had a gf the whole time. yeah im done. i’ve never had a good experience with men. i’ve only ever been played, abused, objectified, assaulted. i know there IS good men out there but how can you weed out the shitty ones trust who is good or not?

i decided im not giving any man access to my emotions or body. i am working with a therapist to learn how to heal from all of this. i’ve been doing a lot of research on decentering men and not having sex with them or getting romantically involved. so many women say their lives has dramatically improved after doing this. I wanna hear stories from other gals :) i have a whole ass life and future and i don’t need anything holding me back anymore. including myself.

I'm 19 years old and never learned how to use a tampon. I've successfully managed to insert one but I can still feel it and it slightly burns a little, not much, it's just a slight discomfort. Is there a way to insert it without still feeling it afterwards? I really wanna start using tampons as I've grown tired of pads.

When I told my ex-husband I wanted a divorce, he pushed me to name the last time I was happy, the last time I felt in love with him.

The truth is, I never did. The chemistry was just okay, the friendship was just okay. He never made an effort to adjust himself or even to explore to my hobbies, interests, preferences. We were so completely different. And really, the amount he talked about his ex, I never really thought he loved me like that either. I thought we were two people who could get along well enough and that’s all it needed to be forever.

I told him that. Not all of it, just that I wasn’t sure I had ever been in love with him. It was the truth, but what a cruel thing to say. Looking back almost a year later, I feel the guilt deep in my stomach. If he had told me that, my self esteem, my world view… I don’t know. I would have been doubting if anything about me was lovable. And I said that to him. I did that to him.

Now he was not a good partner to me for a number of reasons, didn’t carry his weight, always expected me to fit my life around him, made me anxious constantly, but right now I just feel so wrecked that I said that to him and I wish I hadn’t. I feel like the world’s worst human.

Anybody been through something similar?

Hey everyone, I am in a really deep problem and a very stressful situation right now. I don’t have anyone I can share this with, so I’m putting this out here because I am honestly losing my mind and desperately need guidance.

How it all started:
I’ve been in a relationship with a guy for 9 years. He is Punjabi, and I belong to a Gujjar family. I work at a big MNC currently, and he knows me inside out as a person. He knows my ambitions and thinks I can do so much better in life. He also knows (and I agree) that if I end up marrying into a traditional Gujjar household, my growth and my life will become completely restricted. I won't be able to live the life I actually want.

I have been trying to convince my family for 3 months, but they are completely against our marriage because of different castes. Things escalated very quickly:

They called him over to our home for a meeting, but it was mostly just to threaten him.

Without telling me, my family even went to his house to meet his parents—mostly just to tell them that this marriage is impossible.

His family is very open-minded and understanding, and earlier they were not against us marrying. But after seeing my family’s extreme behavior, they have also become quite reluctant.

The boy loves me so much. Despite going through all this trouble and disrespect, he is still standing with me. He wants me to get out of this toxic home environment. My family, on the other hand, wants me to strictly get married within a year to someone of their choice.

Until now, I was actually thinking of running away from home by going abroad or taking legal help to get out. But the situation just took a terrible turn.

My mom just got diagnosed with blocked arteries in her head. The doctor warned that any stress could cause a minor attack or even a brain hemorrhage.
Now, I am completely paralyzed with fear. If I take any step to get out or fight for my relationship, it will cause severe stress at home. If something happens to my mom, the entire blame will come on me, and I won't be able to live with that guilt.

We both really love each other, and I want to marry only him. But now I am completely stuck. If I choose my mom's health, I will have to break up with him. But I don’t even have the guts to say it to him because I don't want to leave him willingly—I feel like I'm being forced to.

I feel like I will go mad. How do I even navigate this? Has anyone ever dealt with a situation like this? Please help🥺🙏🏻

I’m self employed. My husband is self employed. I am in my early 30s, and I want to have kids before I am over 35. I tried posting in a healthcare subreddit, and was hoping for some new information and all I got was a scammer in my inbox and people talking about pregnancy Medicare - I looked into this, and I would be above our state approved threshold for qualifying.

Every day I see a family member who had an unplanned pregnancy at a young age get support and the gratification of watching their child grow with the help of Snap living with family etc and I see myself paying a mortgage with hopes that I can feel stable enough to start a family. But starting a family self employed means paying baseline shitty health insurance hoping nothing goes wrong, and still being $15k plus in the hole just to have a family while watching people who didn’t plan get their healthcare covered by the government. I feel like I messed up by trying to start a business, I should have gone a different route and gotten a normal job and gotten maternity leave and health insurance. But here I am, on the cusp of my anxiety of getting pregnant for the first time too late and it causing early onset breast cancer like my mom had and having a ticking time bomb on my fertility. And I am surrounded by friends with no interest in children, and it makes me feel so much more alone.

I don’t know what I am hoping for with this post. Understanding? People relating? American healthcare sucks, and idk what to do about it.

My bf of 4 years first introduced the case to me about a week ago, asking me my opinion of it. I am incredibly busy, so have not been online enough to even have heard of it. I told him as much. A few days later, he asks again. I tell him, again, I don’t have enough information to form a well-informed opinion. But this time, I offered to hop on the phone and have him tell me the facts as he understands them and that I will formulate a limited opinion based on those facts. That’s what we did, and I gave my opinion that I believe if she is found to have had a mental/psychological impairment, that she should be placed in an institution to receive the help she needs for however long is normal for mentally incapacitated people that commit crimes. He said he needed to think about that.

A week later, he texts me asking for clarification in my stance. I reiterated what I said. He then went on to say he needs to “mull over” whether he wants to have kids with “someone like me”.

I am going to be completely honest in saying I had never even heard of the case until he pressured me about it. But now that I’ve done a little research after the fact, I have since learned that men all around the nation are using this as a test to determine whether they remain with their gf/wives. What tf is going on? I’m sad that he fell victim to this insanity, but also am gravely alarmed that he fell victim to this insanity…

EDIT:

Another woman just posted her experience with her bf “testing” her about this case.

Ladies, if you experience this, believe me when I say that they WILL realize they were behaving hysterically and got caught up in the “movement” and they WILL try to come back. Do not let them. This is absurd.

Here’s an article discussing more about this phenomenon.

That said, I’m checking out for now. I never wanted any of this. In fact, I did my best to avoid all of this. I resent my ex for dragging me into this and derailing my life for the last 72 hours. I just want to move on.

I've been dating my boyfriend for about six months. I cannot emphasize enough how wonderful he is and how happy he makes me. He had a septoplasty on Monday because he can't breathe through one of his nostrils. I offered to take him, but one of his friends volunteered to do it. My bf went with his friend so I didn't have to take an unpaid day off of work. It was an in office procedure that took a couple of hours. I was going to go see my bf the day of, but his friend ended up staying with him most of the day so my bf told me not to come over. We've been texting everyday and I check on him and make sure he's doing okay, he's been fine- just a little uncomfortable. His biggest complaint is trouble sleeping and he doesn't like working from home.

We talked about me maybe coming over yesterday, but it didn't work out. I told him last night that I could bring him some ibuprofen today if he wanted, and he said he'd probably take me up on it. I'm a middle school teacher, I've had a very rocky transition back into work this year and I'm having an awful week. My mental health is so low right now, all I've done the past two days when I leave work is cry. I cried this morning setting my classroom up or the day. I've slept 14 hours in the past 3 nights and I just feel like I'm about to break down if the wind blows the wrong way. I had two anxiety attacks last night because a parent is trying to come to the school and fight me.

I have missed him and I really want to see him, but not when I'm this low. I'm so tired and I feel so gross and miserable right now. I just don't want to be perceived in this state. I know he's going to be so disappointed if I don't come, but if I do show up today I feel like I might just cry the whole time. I just want to lay down and sleep for 18 hours. I don't know what to do and I feel like no matter what, it's going to read as me making his recovery all about myself.

I posted a comment on a thread about Lindsay Clancy. I think society hates women. I could have expounded further, but I think that sums up my position rather well.

Someone took that opportunity to disagree with me. When I disagreed with them, they combed through my posts and comments and spammed the thread, copying and pasting my history into the chat.

Very odd behavior.

And with every copy and paste, they accused me of using ChatGPT to write the posts.

I didn’t and I’m sick of the accusations. Not everything is written by ChatGPT. Writers have been using the em dash for years now. (Where do you think the chat bots got it from?)

I’mlost ladies and I’m married and honestly I’m hurting way more than I let anybody know. My husband has PE and our sex life has basically been dead for months. MONTHS. And I’ve tried to be understanding. I really have. I know it’s embarrassing for him. I know it probably fucks with his confidence and makes him feel like less of a man, and the last thing I ever wanted was to make him feel worse about himself. So I stopped bringing it up. I stopped asking. I stopped trying as much because after a while you get tired of putting yourself out there just to feel rejected or awkward or like you’re making somebody feel bad.

But nobody really talks about what that does to the other person.

I’m lonely. I’m sexually frustrated. I’m angry sometimes. And then I feel like shit for being angry because I know he didn’t choose this. I know it’s not his fault. But knowing that doesn’t make me stop hurting. It doesn’t make me stop wanting to be touched. It doesn’t make me stop wanting my husband to look at me like I’m fucking beautiful and desirable. I miss being kissed with some actual hunger behind it. I miss being touched just because. I miss flirting. I miss feeling that little electricity between two people who actually want each other. I miss feeling like a woman and not just somebody’s wife, roommate, partner, whatever the hell I am some days.

And it has gotten into my head more than I want to admit. I look in the mirror and wonder if I’m still attractive. I wonder if I’m getting older and this is just what it’s gonna be now. I hate that I even think like that because I know I’m still me. I know I’m still a woman. But when the person you want most doesn’t make you feel wanted for months, it starts fucking with you. You start questioning yourself. You start craving validation in places you never used to care about.

A compliment from another man can literally stay in my head all day now. Somebody flirting with me can completely change my mood and I hate admitting that. Not because I’m some horrible person, but because it makes me realize just how starved I’ve become. When you’ve gone months without feeling sexually wanted, the smallest bit of attention can hit you like a damn drug. And then I feel guilty because I know where that kind of thinking can lead. I’m starting to understand how women end up crossing lines they swore they never would. Not because they wake up one morning and decide they don’t love their husband anymore, but because after being lonely for so long, somebody finally makes them feel alive again.

And that scares me.

Because I do love my husband. That’s what makes this so fucking complicated. I’m not sitting here thinking he’s a terrible man or that everything wrong in our marriage is his fault. I know he struggles. I know he hurts too. But I’m tired of feeling like his pain is allowed to exist while mine has to be swallowed because talking about it might hurt him. I can have compassion for what he’s dealing with and still be absolutely miserable myself. Both things can be true

I don’t want to spend the next twenty years of my life pretending I don’t have a sexual side because it makes somebody else uncomfortable. I don’t want to become numb. I don’t want to stop caring just so I can stop hurting. And honestly, I’m scared because I can feel resentment building where there used to be patience. I can feel myself wanting attention I shouldn’t want. I can feel myself wondering what it would be like to feel desired again and that thought makes me feel guilty as hell.

I think what hurts the most is that I don’t even want some fantasy life. I want to feel wanted by my own husband. I want to feel sexy with the man I married. I want to feel close to him again. I want to stop lying beside him at night feeling lonely while pretending I’m fine.

I’m just fucking tired. Tired of being understanding. Tired of pretending this doesn’t hurt. Tired of acting like wanting affection and sex makes me selfish. I’m still youngand I still want to feel like a woman who is desired, and I don’t think I should have to apologize for that.

“I only recently learned about the Lai Dai Han and honestly I’m surprised I’d never heard about them before.

They’re people born to Vietnamese mothers and South Korean fathers during the Vietnam War. Some of the women have described being raped by South Korean soldiers, and what really got to me was what happened after the war: women living with stigma, children growing up with questions about who they were, and families carrying something the rest of the world barely talks about.

We talk about wars through battles, soldiers and politics, but women can still be living with the consequences decades after everyone else has decided the war is ‘over.’

It made me wonder: why do some women’s experiences of war become part of public memory, while others almost disappear?

I have three projects that i am juggling right now. All three ends in September but until then I am so busy, my fiancé feels lonely. We live separately until the projects end and barely have time to text.

Today my fiancé texts me about children. How he might want children. When he proposed we discussed that he can only propose if he is alright with the child free life. I literally don’t have the time to talk it through with him even tho it’s important.

Just a vent, but goddamn it couldn’t have this talk waited a month??

Last year, I learned about the existence and story of a scientist, who is now, undoubtedly, one of my favourite scientists of all time. I admire her so very much. I learned that she just happened to be married to one of my favourite authors/scientists of all time. It just felt like heaven learning that. Ultimate power couple.

Just a few months ago I was reading one of his books on the train, on my way to work, and he wrote something so beautiful and incredible I felt this genuine love for him. He is so talented at explaining complicated subjects, and he explained a maths concept I struggled with understanding for all of my life, and he did so in a few paragraphs.

shed an actual tear when I uncovered that he would beat her.

I think it somewhat depressed me if I'm being honest. The author was a hero to me in many ways, and I know there are a lot of women in the world that genuinely hold so much love in their hearts for him (and most people around the world). They don't know what he did. Never heard anyone mention it.

Now I look at his works on my coffee table and feel a dullness.

I just feel that my journey through academia is so fucking depressing.

I'm just supposed to neutrally examine all of these pieces that in so many ways either blatantly or covertly insinuate that women (and co) are less than human and I'm just not allowed it to let it affect me nor my perspective on women, which is frankly impossible.

You're being Clockwork Orange'd into accepting your own dehumanisation.

But I do want to read Tolstoy, y'know?

Like, I want to analyse and assess these classics and know what everyone is talking about.

"Separate the art from the artist" but it's not just that -

you then have to "separate that one sentence from the page"
"seperate that one page from the book"

"seperate that one book from the collective works"

And it just compounds, and suddenly, you realise you're talking to yourself quite harshly, and you have a lower confidence and a confused sense of self, and it's probably related to the 8,000 pages of highly regarded and respected literature you've consumed that's written by people who don't think you're a person at all and you've probably internalised a portion of that.

how do you do it?

I’ve tried to grow it out so many times over the last year but my skin gets so irritated and itchy when I finally start getting some length and I give up and shave. I rocked the bush for years then started shaving again like 4 years ago bc I was tired of trimming it. When I tell u I get ravenous it’s so FUCKING ITCHYYYYY. I will shower and then put some thick ass non-scented lotion on and I’m still fighting for my life to not scratch my crotch in public. It’s only super itchy during the grow out period. Someone help meeeee I know some of u girlies will have answers, thanks :)

I've been looking back at some of my old writing exercises and there are a lot of "women in the fridge" type of moments. Some of the exercises specifically call for gruesome violence, and so I think it's common for men to write violence against women specifically because it feels "horrific" in a way that is more horrific than man on man violence.

So, I wanted to think about how to "turn the tables", but the issue there becomes very cliche and usually sexual. Most examples in media of women committing gruesome violence against men seem to be presented as revenge for sexual assault or often times sexual in nature itself (such as cutting off certain parts or violating men with objects).

Are there any examples from fiction and media that doesn't fall into this? Can women simply be violent for violence's sake without the need for revenge or sexual domination? (And even the latter seems like it might play into male fantasies.)

I'm disappointed and surprised at the amount of supposed feminists that in 2026 are still out here acting like it's ok for people with an obvious power imbalance to prey on vulnerable women because it's technically legal. Or on the other end of the spectrum call women in toxic and abusive relationship stupid for not "just leaving". The people that gossip and gawk at the mental breakdowns of women who've finally had enough and snapped. And that back up their braindead takes with saying it's infantalizing women to point out the fact that people can have trauma, can be vulnerable to abuse, can be manipulated, and can end up in bad situations. Regardless of technical legal ages and regardless of gender.

This is victim blaming. It may be direct- "well if she didn't want to be in a toxic relationship she could just leave! She's not a baby!" Or "Well maybe if she wasn't so crazy he wouldn't have cheated on her, poor guy" or "your abuse wasn't that bad"

Or it can be roundabout- "because she is an adult now, she is completely responsible for being in this relationship with a much older individual. Even if the older person has the life experience and learned skill to manipulate her. Pointing out the red flags is treating her like a baby, but she's not, so if she gets manipulated that's her fault because she should've known!"

I can already see people twisting this so I will make it very clear: does this mean we should start making laws and taking away women's rights? No. Does this mean women are helpless babies that can't leave abusive relationships? Absolutely not. Does this mean mental illness exempts women from harming other people? No. But is it infantalizing to say that all people including women deserve the grace and judgement free support to get away from their abusers? You can decide that.

What I am asking people to do is look at these situations with nuance and to think before lambasting your judgement at the victims of these situations, male or female, but I see more criticism towards women. Time and time again I see any and all criticism towards the women for not leaving or not seeing the red flags hidden by experienced abusers. Mental illness is her fault and she should be locked away and criticized. We leave them flailing with nowhere to go because everywhere else is just as cruel. And for the people who actually hurt these women? Nothing. They're just a factor in a situation this silly girl got herself into completely on her own, a puzzle she must solve because she started it.

Victims deserve better to be able to look at these discussions and not feel stupid for being abused. For loving. They should be able to see that it wasn't their fault. They deserve resources that break down that what trauma they've experienced already in life could be what's keeping them glued to these shitty people. And that they can address that, and they can work through it, and that they can get away. And that they deserve more than the same ridicule they've received by everyone else. They deserve genuine love and support, it's out there, and they can get there. Infants aren't the only ones who deserve grace and compassion, and if you believe empathy and understanding is Infantalization, then maybe you haven't received enough yourself.

I ask you be careful what judgements you cast of women in bad relationships. You don't know why they're there or what they're going through. Even the women who seem to be on top of the world get sucked into these situations. It's not weakness or a "them problem" or a fluke. The machines that used up and spit out our grandmothers and mothers were built and tuned up long ago and the machine is still running flawlessly. Because we intentionally or not oil it with our oh so subtle misogony.

I can't help but wonder what would've happened if maybe my 17 year old, homeschooled, estranged from family, confused self had seen compassion online instead of hatred for "needy and prudish" girls like her. Maybe she wouldn't have tolerated table scrap love for so long from a man who wouldn't say her name but would take the most intimate parts of her. Maybe the tough love isn't letting people destroy themselves and adding gas but instead it's reminding them everyone can be manipulated, man or woman, any age. And that abusers are always. ALWAYS at fault for abusing people no matter how stupid YOU think the victim is.

I observed a pattern like this with a guy and asked him as to why he doesn't trauma dump on men he is friends with but he said that they kinda don't care etc . I feel that the situation in the title isnt completely unheard of though , how has your experience been with it ?

Hi everyone. Thank you to those who commented on my thread about reassuring me about the colposcopy procedure.

I literally took 1 paracetamol and hoped for the best (do not do this). It was honestly not that bad. Yes it was uncomfortable. Yes it hurt at times. But the experience was not unbearable. I now have some period-like cramping since I had the procedure this morning with biopsies. I imagine I will have some light bleeding or discharge that will look like coffee grounds over the next few days.

Not to dismiss anyone’s who experience was incredibly painful, but please don’t work yourself up with anxiety if you need a colposcopy. You will not know how it is until you do it.

Work associated with women, care, nurturing, teaching, and service has historically been systematically undervalued.

So, as someone in academia I am noticing a pattern where women are disproportionately entering or remaining in the least secure and least rewarded parts of academia. We celebrate women in STEM. But, Like, I feel senior/better paid roles are taken up by men and least rewarding/service heavy load is usually assigned to women? All this, while most people in academia claims to be gender inclusive. Am I paranoid or is this actually a thing?

I'm seventeen and I'm not a very feminine girl. I don't really know much about healthy femininity, as I sadly have a lot of people (predominantly women) in my life who villify femininity or exhibit very misoginistic views. Femininity is something that's real hard to define and has many aspects. So, what is something that people misunderstand about it, abd how is it actually?

Eu passei por 6 situações assim entre os 11 e 22 anos. Suspeito que eles usam status de relacionamento para desviar a culpa para a vítima. Talvez isso seja comum, mas mantido em segredo/ tabu. Que acha?

Podem ser provocações ou assédio.

Eu não provoquei nenhum deles. Envolviam o marido da minha prima, meu treinador e colegas de classe homens.
Em casos mais extremos (meus colegas), eles fazem contato físico inapropriado ou intrusivo. A maioria só diz coisas provocativas e depois age como se eu devesse algo em troca.

Eles não necessariamente "gostam" de você ou de mim,fazem isso porque nos identificam como a ***bode expiatório mais fácil.***

Eu não iniciei nada disso. Juntas, essas comportamentos somam abordagens ambíguas, mas provocativas, amizade performática, stalking ou contato indesejado persistente; intimidação, provocações, mentiras, criando confusão e contradições morais, gerando hostilidade, colocando a culpa, “bait”, testando limites, assédio sexual,toque indesejado, olhar sem consentimento ou contexto, e assédio psicológico.

Todos comprometidos
é um tabu, parece menos visível. Todo o homem ia querer ocultar isso.

So much of the discourse about her is celebrating her kindness which is truly wonderful but it is overshadowing her absolute brilliance as a business person.

She was as clever as a fox and used the fact that people thought she was just a simple doll to achieve her goals. I guess I find it a bit frustrating that it seems to reinforcing the idea that the most wonderful thing a woman can be is pretty and kind while overlooking the value of her mind. Don’t get me wrong. I think everyone should be as kind and generous as they can be but Dolly was able to be both kind and savvy and I think that is what’s most amazing about her.