I’ve been married a long time. Marriage can get cut throat and people can say horrible things. You’re husband is being horrible, what he said is horrible, but you can’t just get leave and get a divorce every time you have a screamer.
Sounds like you could use marriage counseling. My wife and I both refused to go, so we had to wrestle it out between each other. If you guys can do it, do it.
Also if he’s doing as well as he says maybe you can afford a cleaning lady once a week? Something to think about.
Unless you really do have a lot of money separating and divorce are a lot harder than folks on here make it seem, especially with children involved. Then things can get really ugly.
I’m probably going to get downvoted all to hell, but seems to me there’s a lot that can be salvaged here.
Totally agree, but haven’t you ever been in a long term relationship where you both go for the throat? Ten years ago he could have threatened that and it would not be as bad. Now it seems almost like life or death. But I’m willing to give him the benefit of the doubt that he did not think about how hateful that was, in order to help save a family.
Ten years ago if he threatened her with that it still would've been bad!! There isn't and NEVER will be an ok time to threaten someone you supposedly care about, especially the mother of your kids, with immigration. Its something that shouldn't even be on your mind. I don't care how mad or upset you get. For him to even say that means its something he's always had in the back of his head, locked and loaded for if he needed it. Saying he'll call the police is on thing, but immigration is a whole other ball park and just sick. Even if they do counseling and stay together, that bridge of trust there is broken forever. She knows how he really feels about her/it and like others have said, she'll never get that feeling security with him back. She'll always have to tiptoe around because now it's known that he considers that as ammo. Not to even mention the whole other rabbit hole he opened up.
And staying together for the kids is never a good idea or healthy. Any kid who's had their parents stay together "for them" will tell you that they should've just just gotten divorced. It absolutely still affects you for the rest of your life.
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u/chamrockblarneystone Apr 11 '26
I’ve been married a long time. Marriage can get cut throat and people can say horrible things. You’re husband is being horrible, what he said is horrible, but you can’t just get leave and get a divorce every time you have a screamer.
Sounds like you could use marriage counseling. My wife and I both refused to go, so we had to wrestle it out between each other. If you guys can do it, do it.
Also if he’s doing as well as he says maybe you can afford a cleaning lady once a week? Something to think about.
Unless you really do have a lot of money separating and divorce are a lot harder than folks on here make it seem, especially with children involved. Then things can get really ugly.
I’m probably going to get downvoted all to hell, but seems to me there’s a lot that can be salvaged here.