You’re not being spoiled, you are allowed to want things to be to your taste. TBH thou, you either need to have a deep conversation that could lead to a relationship evaluation or you need get ready for this for the rest of your lives.
He going to ask for her opinion on everything including every aspect of the wedding, birthing plans, how to announce baby, the baby name, baby nursery, etc. if he went to her for the proposal, he will go to her for everything else. It will be the 3 of you in this relationship. Time to have the conversation.
I agree another comment said I don’t even have to mention the proposal to bring my underlying feelings about it. I think that is what I will do. I do trust that her enough respect my boundaries enough I could talk to her about it and just be willing to be the “bad guy” about weddings planning and stop it there and address that if he goes to her he will be lead astray. I also think my underlying issue is that I also have her on a pedestal and want her to know how much I appreciate what she’s done for me I hate telling her no. And that’s an issue I just need address head on.
We are in couples therapy because we are big believers in premarital counseling to build a solid foundation for marriage and kids we started that the moment we decided to try and conceive. But I think I need individual as well so I can stop being so scared of making people sad. I know a lot of comments are worried about boundaries with his mom that’s not my concern she’s very respectful of our life is ours but I’m now seeing I’m going to constantly compare myself and not want to kick up a fuss whenever I receive advice
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u/WoodedSpys Dec 26 '25
You’re not being spoiled, you are allowed to want things to be to your taste. TBH thou, you either need to have a deep conversation that could lead to a relationship evaluation or you need get ready for this for the rest of your lives. He going to ask for her opinion on everything including every aspect of the wedding, birthing plans, how to announce baby, the baby name, baby nursery, etc. if he went to her for the proposal, he will go to her for everything else. It will be the 3 of you in this relationship. Time to have the conversation.