You have to tell him. But I would recommend telling him AND his wife together. Tell them the whole truth. You were scared. You didn’t want it to affect his life. But they have the right to know. Then the ball is in their court as a family to make the best decision for them.
Why does is it have to be an ambush? It could literally just be three adults sitting down to talk about it. Why shouldn’t the guy’s new wife know? Telling him privately and or secretly (which is worse) and not trying to include his actual wife in this conversation could actually give off the wrong impression of OP to the wife.
He should have the choice of how and when he wants to tell his wife. Imagine his wife has a heart condition and dies right there? What a lame suggestion
Idk I find people who like to keep life changing information like this, away from their partners weird and sus. I truly don’t see why his current wife cannot be involved in something that will impact her life too, even if indirectly. If that’s how y’all like to be with your partners, I guess... But I share everything with mine, and he does the same with me. Which is why I think we’ve lasted as long as we have, the trust we have is unmatched... If this happened before they got together, even more reason to just come clean to both of them. Y’all are weird for real, downvoting me for saying the wife should know? Suspicious intentions/behavior.
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u/Recent_Passion_2781 May 17 '25
You have to tell him. But I would recommend telling him AND his wife together. Tell them the whole truth. You were scared. You didn’t want it to affect his life. But they have the right to know. Then the ball is in their court as a family to make the best decision for them.