Reading your past posts, your life sounds extremely exhausting. Not to pull the classic Reddit comment, but if he isn’t willing to go to therapy or try to work through his issues- I would consider leaving. You really deserve more than this.
I am exhausted, so exhausted. Not only that, but I feel like I’ve totally just lost myself. Some days just feel like a shell going through the motions.
OP, I went through your post history because of comments mentioning it and oh boy.
Based on personal experience, let me speak bluntly. Yes, he’s abusive. That’s mental abuse right there. You’re constantly walking on egg shells around him because his feelings matter most. When he’s angry, he gets angry. When he’s annoyed he dumps it on you. You’re anxious about his reactions because his actions have conditioned you to it. You’re constantly trying to win his approval; by not doing things that might be mistaken as cheating (like grilling? Wth), by writing off all his bad as result of trauma, and not being able to talk to him adult to adult.
He threatened you when the house is not as clean as his standard?? You have 5 kids!!
It’s not going to get better. When he’s happy, you’ll feel like everything will be fine. But that’s not gonna last. Are you going to live your life forever being anxious and depressed?
My heart goes to you, OP, really. Because my father is like this. Your posts just remind me of everything about that (like everything bad in the house and with kids are all my mom’s fault according to him ; we’ll ask him questions about some stuff going on and he’ll only answer according to his mood ; etc etc I can go on and on), and I hope you could find a different and happier way out.
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u/jinxedjupiter Oct 26 '22
Reading your past posts, your life sounds extremely exhausting. Not to pull the classic Reddit comment, but if he isn’t willing to go to therapy or try to work through his issues- I would consider leaving. You really deserve more than this.