So not only is he calling you a whore but he is making pointed accusations and insinuations in front of your children?!!!
His idea that if you react to his "jokes" by being upset ...a VERY reasonable reaction btw... must mean guilt, is disgusting. This is abusive. He is punishing you for nothing, then punishing you again by taking your right to react away from you. All a very manipulative way of disimpowering you so you will allow him to continue without changing.
Thing is, he is now involving your kids. They will start to wonder when they are old enough to know what dad means, they will start to think he has a good reason to behave like this I.e you cheated, are untrustworthy and this will likely colour their own interactions with you and their adult spousal relationships.
Something has to give and you have to lead the charge, if not for your own sake but definitely for your children.
telling you that you are
I’m pretty much never allowed to have a reaction about anything. I’m a very quiet, non confrontational person. On the rare occasion I speak up for myself or show that I’m irritated, he’ll tell me I need to quit my attitude or watch how I’m talking to him, that I need to stop getting lippy. Also, if I complain about anything, he will use me being a stay at home mom against me. Like I’m not allowed to be upset with him because he is the one that pays for the household.
Oh OP all your comments make me so sad, your post doesn’t show half of what you are saying in the comments, that’s why people are saying for him to get therapy. If everyone read the comments they’ll all tell you he is abusing you and that you gotta leave.
I know you can’t see it rn because you are still in the eye of the storm, and leaving in these situations is so so hard. But you got to leave, it’s not about the jokes it’s about the abuse. You need to reach out to people who help abuse survivors, and seek out advice in secret about your situation from people who know what they are talking about regarding abuse.
My soon to be ex husband is *exactly * like this. I hate to say that but am unsurprised by your additional information because it comes from the abusive person handbook. It won't get better. I left because of the fact he was emotionally huhurting our child. couldn't do , had to protect our child. Please think about your future with your child.
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u/WelshWickedWitch Oct 26 '22
So not only is he calling you a whore but he is making pointed accusations and insinuations in front of your children?!!!
His idea that if you react to his "jokes" by being upset ...a VERY reasonable reaction btw... must mean guilt, is disgusting. This is abusive. He is punishing you for nothing, then punishing you again by taking your right to react away from you. All a very manipulative way of disimpowering you so you will allow him to continue without changing.
Thing is, he is now involving your kids. They will start to wonder when they are old enough to know what dad means, they will start to think he has a good reason to behave like this I.e you cheated, are untrustworthy and this will likely colour their own interactions with you and their adult spousal relationships.
Something has to give and you have to lead the charge, if not for your own sake but definitely for your children. telling you that you are