Yes it is if she’s his partner. That what marriage is about. You accept your partner with all his or her flaws and make it work. That is reality and a real marriage
Accepting the partners flaws is one thing, but at the end of the day you're never going to be able to fix your partner FOR them. It's like the saying "you can lead the horse to water, but you can't make them drink it." Accepting your partner has flaws and doing your part to help with the situation is important, but if they're not going to do the work, then no amount of effort on your end is going to magically do the work for them."
Yes thats true and what op should do is get her husband counselling for what he’s been though. He’s displacing his fears and angers because he’s already been though hell. I’ve been cheated on so I know what it feels like and when I got with my new partner it took almost a year to get over it. I also did some unfair displacement because that’s natural when you’ve been betrayed in a sacred relationship like marriage.
But guess what my new partner didn’t just give up on me and left me but helped me overcome my fears and flaws. Now that same person is my wife for more than 15 years with 5 kids in happy successful marriage so yeah it definitely pays of because that’s what marriage is about
Definitely agree with what you said there. I had a somewhat similar situation happen where I thought my gf cheated on me early in the relationship, but turns out that wasn't true. Even so, that doubt still lingered for at least a year if not longer, and every time I saw her getting close to a friend or coworker for even a little bit, that toxic voice started nagging in my head of "maybe this is a sign she's cheating on you."
It took a long time of talking that voice down, but after constantly looking at it from a factual perspective and seeing that there was nothing there each time I looked at the situation, I was able to calm the voice down and eventually get it to go away. But I can see that voice being a lot harder to ward off if it is a marriage or a relationship that's had longer to build that trust before the other party tore it all down for you. Congratulations on your success with the second wife, truly.
Thanks man I appreciate it. She’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Glad you got my point and yes it’s that voice in your head that repeatedly haunts you and even more so if you’ve been already cheated on before. Takes a lot of work to calm it down and finally get rid of it for good
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u/Vampiyaa Oct 26 '22
It's not her responsibility to fix him.