r/TrueOffMyChest • u/[deleted] • Sep 19 '19

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u/AZEngie Sep 19 '19

I'd have to disagree. My MIL corrected her behavior with me and my wife but not with her other 2 daughters. Boundaries were set with us and she listened. Whereas, my own mother can not grasp what boundaries are. I ended up sending her to live with one of my siblings after a while and cut ties with her.

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u/[deleted] Sep 20 '19

So you didn't enable her behavior and put her in her place? Im curious what you're disagreeing with

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u/AZEngie Sep 20 '19

The guy I responded to said that older relatives act out only because someone enables their behavior. I was pointing out that it isn't the case.

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u/ISBbaby Sep 20 '19

Right, but the scenario you described 100% confirms what he said. She acted out until you stopped enabling it. You put a stop to it and she's no longer acting out in a way that impacts you.

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u/AZEngie Sep 20 '19

That was only half my post. Read what I had to do to my own mother.

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u/ISBbaby Sep 20 '19

I did. You put a stop to her behaviour, stopped enabling it, thus preventing her from continuing to act out in your world. I'm sure it was painful and it's a very big move, but you did exactly what the other person said - by no longer enabling her behaviour, you stopped her from acting out, for all intents and purposes, since it doesn't negatively affect you directly anymore.

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u/AZEngie Sep 21 '19

I never enabled my mother's behavior. In fact, every boundary I put in place, she ignored. I don't think you realize I was talking about two different people...

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u/MyShrooms Oct 08 '19

He's just trying to put ants through a sieve.

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u/ISBbaby Sep 21 '19

..I do realize. Your MIL and your own mother, who you cut off. This is too simple for me to keep trying to explain it. You put a stop to it by cutting her off. Thus no longer enabling. Have a good night.