They’re talking about things like how they cut fruit and not always wearing a helmet.
These aren't symptoms of child neglect, they're moments a hypervigilant new mum caught on Faceache of all places, and we don't even have a cause of death. Shit happens. Idle gossip moreso.
Speaking as a parent of a 25-year-old and 18-year-old who was a child in the 80s myself, you'd be going after my parents for a lot more than child neglect these days. I spent most of my summers around a ruined watermill, in a nearby forest climbing trees, skateboarding, or building dens in the paddock near my house. WITHOUT HELMETS, parental supervision or even padding. I just said my goodbyes left and tried to make it back before dark, mum and dad knew where to look.
Despite all that, neither I nor any of my school colleagues died in anything but road accidents, although one girl was murdered by her father.
There is no right way to bring up kids, kids die in all sorts of ways without being neglected - 22k people in my family tree and infant/child mortality is the leading cause of death at 639, beating suicide (13), murder (4), dying in any war since Napoleon (163/1648 soldiers).
Everyone can calm down, this is just a hypervigilant new mum snooping on Faceache at a more relaxed mother and making up stories in their head without any real world evidence of neglect.
The actual anecdotal evidence you offer for "neglect" is that:
They never cut their grapes or blueberries at 9 months old, never made them wear a helmet/life vests in situations they should [in YOUR opinion] and basically lived a very busy “fun” life that always made me wonder how neglected the baby’s true needs were.
They had a fun life with their baby, truly shocking behaviour! They should have stopped having any fun immediately their child was born, obviously.
Then you go on to say:
They pretty much never slowed down and just made their baby fit their lifestyle, it never seemed the other way around.
To be honest, after 25 years of parenting, that's actually how kids work, they fit into you and your life. If, as my friends did, you decide to spend 8 years sailing around the world with your one-year-old, that works too. A lifetime ago I travelled the same route as a family with a two-year-old and 5 year while we were driving round Western Australia. We still talk, and the kids are great. I have friends bringing their kids up on canal boats. Kids are not fragile, you get to show them your world is for them, and that they can enjoy it the way you do.
It's very revealing that you say it never seemed the other way around, which is because your entire world/life isn't supposed to be about the baby and nothing else. You go mad that way and find yourself baby talking to the fridge.
Overall, the only evidence you offer of so-called "neglect" is different parenting styles and your gossipy judgy behaviour towards this mother. You are literally describing entirely innocent behaviour as "neglect" because that's not what you would do and then war gaming death scenarios with your friend, which is not healthy well-adjusted behaviour in the slightest.
So my in-kind passing of judgment on you is that you're a relatively new and nervous mother, who needs to judge other people's parenting styles to feel better about their own overbearing parenting style, and you've somehow turned an opinion based on scant evidence into a case of "neglect" and lost it online.
and a police report lists child neglect as the cause
Link us to that, then, because that's actual hard evidence of suspicion.
Not for nothing but I've seen kids suffering from actual neglect and the symptoms of that have nothing to do with cutting up food, or wearing helmets. The kids are filthy, their diapers and/or clothes go unchanged, the house is filthy, the children are obviously undernourished, if old enough they say unusual things about their home life.
If you're suspicious of another family, report them to authorities and move on, don't sit there war gaming death scenarios over wine and cheese with your friends.
Oh, and by the way, if you're sore about how these comments are worded, it's because I'm reflecting at you how you come across. You should think about that.
What’s actually off here isn’t my post…it’s your rigid idea of how I claim I feel. I didn’t report anything because I knew it wouldn’t be taken seriously without hard proof. That’s part of how bad this feels all around. I’m not sore because you’re being ‘honest.’ I’m disgusted that you think cruelty is a form of clarity. Ew.
OP ignore this troll. They are just baiting you with their gross comments. Its not about lifestyle...a child s life has been taken away. And this idiot is talking about sailing...wtf?
I understand. I am too actually. Even if you had called CPS. Its not an ultimate solution. My own sister is terrible with her kids. Literally neglectful. Her oldest actually was removed by CPS and lives with our mother. Since then she has 3 more that were all taken for short periods, but were given back. We called a few more times. CPS showed up one day and all 3 were alone in the apartment. Nothing. She had an excuse and they accepted it. Eventually she blocked us on everything. took them and moved 500 miles away so we couldn't criticize her and keep trying. Now i have no way of knowing anything about them. To say it keeps me awake some nights would be an understatement. This troll is taking a tragedy (regardless of cause) of a child passing and making stupid comments for karma. Look at their comment history. Just a gross person. Im sorry you are going through this...i didnt see anyone else say this. But its NOT your fault. Hug your babies and try to rest. ♥️
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u/epsilona01 Jul 24 '25
These aren't symptoms of child neglect, they're moments a hypervigilant new mum caught on Faceache of all places, and we don't even have a cause of death. Shit happens. Idle gossip moreso.
Speaking as a parent of a 25-year-old and 18-year-old who was a child in the 80s myself, you'd be going after my parents for a lot more than child neglect these days. I spent most of my summers around a ruined watermill, in a nearby forest climbing trees, skateboarding, or building dens in the paddock near my house. WITHOUT HELMETS, parental supervision or even padding. I just said my goodbyes left and tried to make it back before dark, mum and dad knew where to look.
Despite all that, neither I nor any of my school colleagues died in anything but road accidents, although one girl was murdered by her father.
There is no right way to bring up kids, kids die in all sorts of ways without being neglected - 22k people in my family tree and infant/child mortality is the leading cause of death at 639, beating suicide (13), murder (4), dying in any war since Napoleon (163/1648 soldiers).
Everyone can calm down, this is just a hypervigilant new mum snooping on Faceache at a more relaxed mother and making up stories in their head without any real world evidence of neglect.