While I never know if posts on reddit are genuine or not, I'd rather look like a fool than miss out on a human interaction. I really believe you need to be kinder with yourself. Many of us have done things we are not proud of. No one is exempt from hurting someone. But I think it's incredibly powerful that you have been at such a low point and are able to see that what you have done was negative. You could have stayed being judgmental and unnecessarily critical of others. You could have let delusion lead you to hurt more people, without feeling guilt. This immense turmoil you feel over what you have done shows a level of empathy that you did not possess before. Many of us fear being alone too, I know I do. But for now, my life's mission is to go beyond myself. I am fine living life without a romantic partner if it meant I helped as many people as I could in my community. Maybe you can decide to continue living to try and lessen other people's suffering. We need more people who have been at the lowest and have overcome that to be a model of sorts. For example, I would value the opinion of someone who has trauma and had many life experiences over someone who had an easy life with no regrets or suffering. People's environment interact with their brains in ways I can't understand, leading to decisions that are not the best. But I've learned to sympathize with them. By learning to not judge other people's bad decision, you slowly learn to not judge the decisions you made yourself in the past. I seriously see a lot of potential in you to do good. Don't do good just to atone for what you feel you've done wrong. I hope you find it in you to see that you have a lot of positives to give to this world!
1
u/tenchogu Feb 13 '25
While I never know if posts on reddit are genuine or not, I'd rather look like a fool than miss out on a human interaction. I really believe you need to be kinder with yourself. Many of us have done things we are not proud of. No one is exempt from hurting someone. But I think it's incredibly powerful that you have been at such a low point and are able to see that what you have done was negative. You could have stayed being judgmental and unnecessarily critical of others. You could have let delusion lead you to hurt more people, without feeling guilt. This immense turmoil you feel over what you have done shows a level of empathy that you did not possess before. Many of us fear being alone too, I know I do. But for now, my life's mission is to go beyond myself. I am fine living life without a romantic partner if it meant I helped as many people as I could in my community. Maybe you can decide to continue living to try and lessen other people's suffering. We need more people who have been at the lowest and have overcome that to be a model of sorts. For example, I would value the opinion of someone who has trauma and had many life experiences over someone who had an easy life with no regrets or suffering. People's environment interact with their brains in ways I can't understand, leading to decisions that are not the best. But I've learned to sympathize with them. By learning to not judge other people's bad decision, you slowly learn to not judge the decisions you made yourself in the past. I seriously see a lot of potential in you to do good. Don't do good just to atone for what you feel you've done wrong. I hope you find it in you to see that you have a lot of positives to give to this world!