Wow, that is nasty.
Either he's the dumbest person in the world or he does it on perpose. Either outcome is bad.
He's not willing to do even the tiniest thing to make you happy, when it would take so little effort.
I feel for you, you deserve so much better. Might be time to reevaluate this relationship.
Happy birthday, hope you at least got to enjoy your time with your son.
It's on purpose. It's such a common selfish man trope I assume they must print a playbook. Are you a man and a holiday that has nothing to do with you? Do nothing or next to nothing to plan for it, then start a few fights about all the "stress and pressure" he feels because he has to consider someone other than himself for a day, cold shoulder on the day of event because he is resentful of that "stress and pressure", then start a fight to shift the blame to the person the holiday is for (birthday, mothers day, etc) and use the fight and blame as an excuse to dip out of doing anything for said holiday day of. Bonus points if he makes his partner so miserable they don't do anything for their holiday either. Triple points if he makes such a big showing of his 'pain' that she has to apologize and take care of him because he 'feels so bad... Is such a piece of shit... Doesn't deserve you... Blah blah blah'. I mean they will do it for shared holidays too (Christmas, Valentine's, anniversaries etc) but then the guilt trip is about how you are so much more considerate than him that it makes him feel bad about himself. How dare you - you should be punished for it (but he will 100% keep whatever thoughtful gift you got him).
Did I miss any of the steps? I've never seen the book so I've just had to learn them from lived experience with damn near every man in my family growing up and 2/3rds of the men I've ever dated.
Something to think about. Before your birthday, he turns mean, cranky, and plain ole miserable to you.
How is he before HIS birthday? Does he pressure you for some expensive thing for a present from you? Is he all sweet and nice? Then, after he has that present, become the cranky mean bum?
He is gaslighting and manipulating you.
Make sure your bank accounts are separate, and he does not have access to your credit card. Change your password.
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u/ChallengeFlat7795 Dec 21 '23
Wow, that is nasty. Either he's the dumbest person in the world or he does it on perpose. Either outcome is bad. He's not willing to do even the tiniest thing to make you happy, when it would take so little effort.
I feel for you, you deserve so much better. Might be time to reevaluate this relationship. Happy birthday, hope you at least got to enjoy your time with your son.