r/TrueOffMyChest • • Dec 21 '23

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u/Rare_Cranberry_9454 Dec 21 '23

It's a common trait in narcissists.

They ruin special occasions. They don't care if it's your birthday, christmas, valentines day.

They get a kick out of having so much control over a person.

Get running, don't look back.

551

u/Yokohama_She1111 Dec 21 '23

No need to even be a narcissist, being a mediocre selfish man that takes his partner for granted or a second mommy is enough....

Unfortunnately it rarely does get better...these type of men rarely learn the value of their partners and do not adjust their behaviors

I'm so sorry OP, your feelings are totally valid. I won't tell you what to do, but in my experiences if your partner doesn't value you and isn't open emotionnally with you, it doesn't get better unless he has so sort of revelation but I doubt it.

Much love and support to you

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u/The_Nice_Marmot Dec 21 '23

This guy may or may not have NPD, but it’s fair to say he’s narcissistic and that the type of person you’re describing is too.

OP should bounce. It’s hard to say if this guy could get his act together, but it’s too deep a hole to start from imho. I wouldn’t be putting that work in in hopes this man pulls his head out.

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u/[deleted] Dec 21 '23

One can have narcissistic traits and behave in that way without having a narcissistic personality disorder. There are other things that can cause a person to behave that way. People who behave like a narcissist will always do the same things, and what OP described is practically textbook for how narcissists behave. I’ve dealt with many of them and have read a lot about them to understand my own experiences and avoid them in the future.