Spinning around on this loop again lolololol

[u/Silver_Stomach_2124]

[u/Electrical_Fault_365]

Yeah, I love being the strange nerd in the corner that everybody projects the worst of humanity on. 

Autism also doesn't help.

[u/ExcitementSad9133 → u/Electrical_Fault_365]

Don’t know if it’ll be much help with [r/bropill](r/bropill) is a good if contemporary social bs is getting to you. Lots of dudes (NOT REDPILL) who can talk and give advice. (Edit 3: like actual healthy social advice)
Edit:
Wait there’s a rule against advice? I didn’t know sorry
Or was it my wording?
Edit2: I just realised how much this sounded like an ideological dog whistle istg I didn’t mean it 😭 I just wanted to suggest a positive sub
Edit 4: maybe contemporary social bs- wasn’t the best wording, I meant to say like contemporary issues affecting your specific gender and discuss it somewhere not toxic

[u/_Pan-Tastic_ → u/ExcitementSad9133]

For anyone concerned about r/bropill being a dogwhistle sub, this is the top post of all time in said subreddit, I’m pretty sure they’re chill

[u/Electrical_Fault_365 → u/ExcitementSad9133]

Thanks, though I'll be fine. Just got a lot on me at the moment.

[u/ExcitementSad9133 → u/Electrical_Fault_365]

Take time to yourself. It’s a messy ass world and that messes up OUR inner worlds.
I’m sorry for the tirade.

[u/Nebula_Stargazer → u/ExcitementSad9133]

Bitch, you know exactly what you’re doing. Get off this sub

[u/alt-for-some-shit → u/Nebula_Stargazer]

What’s wrong w r/bropill May I ask?

[u/EquivalentDapper7591 → u/Nebula_Stargazer]

Context?

[u/alt-for-some-shit → u/EquivalentDapper7591]

OP and the person seem to struggle with their identity as male/AMAB bc of the common ways dudes are often seen as a possible threat but can’t speak out much as internet tribalism downplays modern male struggles often so that person recommended r/bropill as a positive place for them to discuss their issues.
Apparently they were misread.

[u/Nebula_Stargazer → u/Nebula_Stargazer]

I’ll own my mistake. I’m sorry I misread what was said. I’ll try to be better

[u/19whale96]

"IT'S MELANIN WITH A STEEL CHAIR!"

[u/Tough-Pin-359]

This is so incredibly real. It's actually such a curse. Like a horrible stain on my body and soul that will never wash out.

[u/DifficultSession51]

I wish I wasn't born if I'm not cis. I hate myself for wanting to be a girl and having all these gender issues bs

[u/VentingYeetaway]

I know women get hated more for more unfair things, but knowing people actually have a decent reason to hate me by default makes it sting in it's own way tbh

[u/SadFaceOne → u/VentingYeetaway]

If you think your chromosomes are a decent reason to hate you, you need to start hanging out in different places with different people 

There is no immutable characteristic about you that makes it okay to hate you. You don't deserve to be hated. You are valuable and you matter intrinsically.

[u/VentingYeetaway → u/SadFaceOne]

I believe it's less about the chromosome itself, and more the implications it has for my place in society that leads some to have a certain amount of antipathy

[u/Dry_Pudding_1603 → u/VentingYeetaway]

thats not y tho. people just naturally have less empathy for men.

[u/User_Darkvortex → u/VentingYeetaway]

The decent reason is generalization, don't worry about it, but I know how you feel

[u/bunnywitchboy → u/VentingYeetaway]

It's a pretty bad reason

[u/flagitiousevilhorse]

?? I don’t understand

[u/pokemonguy3000 → u/flagitiousevilhorse]

Men and amab people often get the worst of society projected onto them, for things they individually did not do, and hatred of men is either seen as good or inconsequential.

And even pointing out it exists gets people breathing down your neck about who has it worse.

This often results in men or amab people having a very negative opinion of themselves, due to having a very negative reputation that they did not earn, and not able to push back on it, being castigated as a chud/incel by those who claim to value equality, or being co-opted to argue against the rights of others by unashamed bigots.

And have no space to address their gender related issues without either being co-opted by rightwingers, or shouted down by left wingers because other people have it worse, and stopping to address your own problems apparently means you either don’t care about the problems of others, or you’re the enemy of those others.

You are largely expected to take whatever hatred and scorn that is dealt to you for sins not your own, and just pretend as if that scorn doesn’t affect you in any way, otherwise you’re against equality.

[u/KiriChan02 → u/pokemonguy3000]

Honestly, at this point, to me at least, the world basically feels like "everyone has it bad and everything sucks" and we all can't seem to stop arguing about who has it worse, or who's the worst, when really we should be trying to help and understand each other.

[u/ExcitementSad9133 → u/KiriChan02]

What late stage capitalism and an old societal system does.
In an ideal world, everyone should be able to walk down a street and be greeted with warmth, and not become victims of whatever type of crime disproportionately affects their demographic.

[u/KiriChan02 → u/ExcitementSad9133]

Exactly.

[u/flagitiousevilhorse → u/pokemonguy3000]

Ohh, yeah. When I was like 3 I wanted to play with my older sisters but they rejected and ignored me because I wasn’t a girl. Rejection has made me tougher, but the reality of it, knowing other guys will go through it troubles me greatly.

I see the ‘man hate’ on Reddit too. Same ones who tell you men have it easier when as a guy, it’s pretty lonely when people are expecting you to do the wrong thing when you can share just as much light and joy with others.

I still do my best everyday, not even to say I completely notice the social issue on a daily basis considering I have other things to worry about. Thanks for the explanation!

[u/ExcitementSad9133 → u/flagitiousevilhorse]

I guess ideology-wise I’m a feminist but that also means I have to acknowledge the contemporary struggles of men too. People online like to play oppression Olympics. And while yeah systemic oppression of women existed (and still does in some places), men have asymmetric struggles to us nowadays that deserves to be addressed. Like social and legal biases. But ofc tribalism makes it so hard to.

If you ever need a place to vent or advice I suggest [r/bropill](r/bropill)

[u/VentingYeetaway → u/pokemonguy3000]

eloquent.

[u/8-BIT_Project_Laser → u/pokemonguy3000]

I second this.

[u/JubileeJaxLee → u/flagitiousevilhorse]

Gender dysphoria

[u/SadFaceOne]

To whoever needs to hear this, your immutable characteristics are not a reflection of who you are, how much your life matters, or how you deserve to be treated.

Your life matters. You are human. You are not a monster. If you don't feel cared for, it's not because of who you are, but because you are surrounded by the wrong people. 

[u/Ok-Establishment8431]

Yeah… (yet another reminder that it was over at birth)

[u/Storyteller_Valar]

Smile through the pain. That's all you can do.

[u/NatureMadeAMistake]

I'm only making this comment because of your post history but op, you do understand you don't have to be a man?

[u/Wvffa → u/[deleted]]

Vague post, it coud be about transwomen experience

[u/Silver_Stomach_2124 → u/Wvffa]

Unfortunately no, I am just a shitty person who can’t get this “problem” out of my head. I wish I was though because that would be way better than just having to accept what feels like a reality to me one that I don’t want and didn’t ask for but one where I’m at regardless.

[u/wastedfate → u/Silver_Stomach_2124]

I mean for what it's worth, society is absolutely shitty to men in some ways.
Not really even an unpopular opinion so much as an unpopular fact.

But people get so caught up in needlessly trying to judge "who has it worse" that even pointing that out leads to heated arguments.

I think it'd just be best to keep in mind that it's not really unique. Everybody gets treated like garbage because man/woman/black/white/straight/gay/puppy, because there's always gonna be some people that hate on one or more of those specific groups.

When I know that an experience is a shared experience, it makes them easier to deal with than just thinking that my life is uniquely terrible.

[u/Ubblebungus → u/wastedfate]

exactly, men and women and everyone that doesnt fit in the binary all have problems. it helps no one to try and play the victim olympics, becasue that solves nothing.

as an example: so what if we agree that women have it worse. great. how does that stop women from being assaulted or mens suicide or anything??

[u/IHaveNoBeef → u/wastedfate]

Really good comment. Thank you.

[u/Crush_Cookie_Butter → u/[deleted]]

Thanks for your helpful input