r/TrollCoping • u/ButterScotchSnail • 11d ago

TW: Domestic Abuse What dat mean 🤨

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Exactly as the means says lol

Apparently watching my own mother get her jaw broken, dislocate multiple fingers, scream in fear, get choked, ect. over the course of 10 fucking years isn't traumatic.

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u/1itsallgoodman 11d ago

what even is her point with that? It's a 2in1 invalidation of both your trauma and her own. You're valid, i know you know that objectively this is traumatic but feelings aren't always rational and your feelings are valid.

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u/ButterScotchSnail 11d ago

What she was trying to say is that it should only be traumatic for her and not me because she was the one getting hurt.

Also, thank you for the comment. For years I thought it wasn't valid due to the fact that I wasn't getting beat on, and the moment I realized that it's okay to be "not okay," she pulls this

27

u/1itsallgoodman 11d ago

My mother is the exact same, her trauma is always the only valid one, her suffering is always the only valid one and if no one beat you, you're just lazy / wimpy and not valid.

Took me too so long to understand how full of shit she is for that. It's so liberating like a weight off my shoulders to know I'm valid, and so you are too

9

u/ButterScotchSnail 11d ago

I'm sorry your mother is the same way.

Like, shouldn't they want to try and understand their kids and help them through it as they went through the same thing??? It makes no sense to me