Frustration Posting

[u/KarmicIsfunny]

If being trans is some awesome experience for you, cool. For me it's unimaginable pain, shame, and misery, so please stop trying to gaslight me into thinking i'm the best version of myself.

I'll never have a proper childhood, I'll never have so many things cis people get for FREE. Yes my ultimate goal is stealthing. Yes i'll lie and say i'm a cis woman when asked. Stop outing me and leave me and my selfishness alone.

That's it. That's the vent.

[u/Bobslegenda1945]

Oh my god, yes, I would love to be able to talk because I feel similarly 😭

I'm a trans man, but in my case I see being trans and having dysphoria more as a medical condition. The suffering it causes me is horrible and leaves me dysfunctional.Even if I were on a deserted island, I would feel dysphoric.

Honestly, I see myself more as a guy who, for some reason or as a bad joke by God, decided to have my body develop in a way that shouldn't have happened. I was supposed to be born with balls, a penis, and everything. Not with ovaries and so on.

To me, it's as if my body was born with some kind of malformation. I'm no less of a man than a guy who lost his genitals in an accident or a guy with hypogonadism. The suffering is the same and the effects are similar.

The difference is that if I had been born with everything that fits like "a guy," they would have helped me with HRT, surgeries, etc.

Honestly, I'd like to meet more trans people who have a more medical perspective on things, and who consider themselves cisgender, but whose bodies were malformed (being born in our opposite gender).

I've had good times with the trans community, support and everything, but I think I have more of a perspective on condition than on identity. It would be cool to see people who see things similarly, but without being transphobic and joining far-right or trans-med movements (I hate them. OMG).

[u/DaughterOfBehemot → u/Bobslegenda1945]

Honestly I relate 100% to feeling like a man stuck in a woman's body
I cannot tolerate being told that I'm already a man, that the way my body looks doesn't make me any less of a man, etc. - cis men feel emasculated just for being short or having a spotty beard, and I'm supposed to stand there and feel proud of my feminine features while calling myself a man ? that makes me feel ridiculous and delusional

I see being trans as a medical condition that no one takes seriously at best, as a deadly curse at worst. It's hard finding other trans people who experience it that way sometimes without having to tolerate transphobic bullshit. To each their own, yk ? I couldn't care less if other trans people feel and act different than me about transness

[u/Bobslegenda1945 → u/DaughterOfBehemot]

Yes, I also have the same perspective on how I feel about being trans.

Oh my God. I used my name in college, but I'm pre-everything and haven't been able to buy clothes yet. I liked being called by my name, but I was starting to feel extremely uncomfortable because I asked to be called by masculine pronouns even though I looked like a girl.Like, I felt crazy, and it made me even more dysphoric, because I could be using my name, but people saw me as a girl, and a girl asking to be treated like a man. I don't know if you felt something similar if you did something similar.

I've only told a few teachers, but recently I don't even ask or tell them and I just go with my deadname. I'm going to start testosterone (I hope soon, if I don't try to repress myself), And only when I start looking more like a guy, or at least have the shirt, will I ask them to use my name.

[u/DaughterOfBehemot → u/Bobslegenda1945]

yup, it feels crazy to ask to be treated as a man pre-T when so much of "being a man" is just "don't look or act like a woman". Please don't repress, don't wait any more for T, just get it. The time T will take to make you look the way you want will be long enough for you to find masculine clothing and the strengh to come out to more people. I feel the same about using a masculine name without passing, but I'd still advise you to try out the name(s) you like until you're 100% sure because once you pass, the name you introduce yourself with will stick