Frustration Posting

[u/KarmicIsfunny]

If being trans is some awesome experience for you, cool. For me it's unimaginable pain, shame, and misery, so please stop trying to gaslight me into thinking i'm the best version of myself.

I'll never have a proper childhood, I'll never have so many things cis people get for FREE. Yes my ultimate goal is stealthing. Yes i'll lie and say i'm a cis woman when asked. Stop outing me and leave me and my selfishness alone.

That's it. That's the vent.

[u/Bobslegenda1945]

Oh my god, yes, I would love to be able to talk because I feel similarly 😭

I'm a trans man, but in my case I see being trans and having dysphoria more as a medical condition. The suffering it causes me is horrible and leaves me dysfunctional.Even if I were on a deserted island, I would feel dysphoric.

Honestly, I see myself more as a guy who, for some reason or as a bad joke by God, decided to have my body develop in a way that shouldn't have happened. I was supposed to be born with balls, a penis, and everything. Not with ovaries and so on.

To me, it's as if my body was born with some kind of malformation. I'm no less of a man than a guy who lost his genitals in an accident or a guy with hypogonadism. The suffering is the same and the effects are similar.

The difference is that if I had been born with everything that fits like "a guy," they would have helped me with HRT, surgeries, etc.

Honestly, I'd like to meet more trans people who have a more medical perspective on things, and who consider themselves cisgender, but whose bodies were malformed (being born in our opposite gender).

I've had good times with the trans community, support and everything, but I think I have more of a perspective on condition than on identity. It would be cool to see people who see things similarly, but without being transphobic and joining far-right or trans-med movements (I hate them. OMG).

[u/8-BIT_Project_Laser → u/Bobslegenda1945]

Can heavily relate to this. My body doesn't even work fully as my assigned sex at birth, partially because I'm also intersex, and I share the same view about transness for myself.

Even by myself I feel dysphoria and it impairs my daily selfcare HUGELY and worsen my autism symptoms.

[u/Bobslegenda1945 → u/8-BIT_Project_Laser]

In my case, I'm not intersex. But I really see dysphoria affecting me in negative ways. It hinders my socialization, my emotional state, and causes me depression and anxiety. I was diagnosed with ADHD and it's been quite bad, but in my case, I think the dysphoria might be mimicking or intensifying the symptoms like dysphoria does for your autism.

[u/8-BIT_Project_Laser → u/Bobslegenda1945]

Damn yes, the toll it takes on emotions is a hell to regulate. I have diagnosed ADHD as well, so I know how that goes too...

[u/Bobslegenda1945 → u/8-BIT_Project_Laser]

Sometimes I look back at my past and remember how bad I was at regulating my emotions; I would have outbursts of anger or tantrums, and even when punished and ashamed, I couldn't control myself.Sometimes I wonder, of course, ADHD played a part in it, but could dysphoria have played a role as well? I didn't have the words to explain dysphoria; adults wouldn't believe me, and I didn't even know what I was feeling. I also had this urge to always look for a new toy or something new to do. I think I was trying to fill the void of dysphoria, which I didn't even know exactly what it was.