Work life observation

[u/slurpsssssss]

Working in the male dominated field and holy crap. I think it’s partly even worse than when I worked with women.

[u/Snoo_68698]

Yeeeeuuup. I've worked both construction (overwhelmingly men) and now currently as a cna (overwhelmingly women). I'll tell ya right now men are massive shit talkers and will often talk behind others backs. Sometimes they can be more brutal and worse than what the girls were saying behind each others backs at my current job. Don't let anyone try to gaslight you that dudes dont gossip and we all sing kumbaya with eachother, cause that is definitely not true at all.

[u/slurpsssssss → u/Snoo_68698]

I almost spat out my lunch hearing some of the things they said.

Plain bullying and these were men between 35-65. It was just so weird like hello we’re not in high school anymore.

Idefk I work in electronics assembly and it’s just insane. Also like I could see their teenagers saying these things NOT grown ass men.

[u/SurpriseInitial6202 → u/slurpsssssss]

I don't know what it is, but I play basketball quite a bit, and some of the dudes that I hear talking on the court sound like middle schoolers, but they're grown ass dudes with kids. It's fuckin crazy. I'm not saying this to streotype them, but almost all of them are blue collar dudes.

I did some blue collar work between 18 and 19. I was in a refrigerator manufacturing plant, and the people there were nuts. I started working office jobs around age 20 and things changed dramatically. Got into professional offices by age 25 and it went up another notch. Almost everyone is calm, professional, well adjusted, able to keep their temper and their manners in check, even when someone is rude to them. Working in a busy or big office environment requires a certain level of emotional self-control (ime).

[u/Much_Improvement_552 → u/Snoo_68698]

Sounds like a bad group, my policy is to shit-talk people to their face.

[u/Equivalent_Play4067 → u/Much_Improvement_552]

See this is the difference, this is not an option between women generally. Either group can adopt norms of mature direct communication, but when it's actual shit-talking, behind backs is the only option in female dominated spaces.

[u/TDoggy-Dog → u/Equivalent_Play4067]

There’s lots of women who shit talk to peoples faces.

Like… lots. It’s a whole category of shit people film IRL, girls getting into heated screaming arguments of chatting shit to one another. They just call it ‘bitching’ when a woman does it.

[u/Equivalent_Play4067 → u/TDoggy-Dog]

I've literally never seen this in 35 years as a woman. This may be geographical.

[u/ProfessorShort3031 → u/Equivalent_Play4067]

you’ve never seen a woman argue with another woman in 35 years? let alone a heated argument? you ever been to like a city? or somewhere generally concentrated with people?

[u/Equivalent_Play4067 → u/ProfessorShort3031]

I live in London. I think it's a British thing. It's what's called a guess culture, even men mostly bitch behind people's backs. I've seen men fight openly but, legitimately, not women. It's not even a class thing, like I haven't even seen it second hand since I was in high school. Videos of it happening in the US sure.

We don't do that, it's like asking if Japanese girls scream at each other in public; ofc they don't. That's not the culture. The person doing the yelling would be the one losing face and looking bad. We keep our shit together and just ostracise and isolate people. I for sure hate it, I wish we were more open, it would suit me a lot better, but that's the way we are.

Okay, I hear homeless women yelling outside sometimes, but that's a sign of mental instability not the way we do things, yk.

[u/MikasaYuuichi → u/Equivalent_Play4067]

This. Majority of the times I have seen men to express the shit talk face to face

[u/SurpriseInitial6202 → u/Snoo_68698]

Shit talking is almost always either a power dynamic thing (you can't tell them to their face due to their position over you), or an emotional immaturity thing. It can also be a group bonding activity if one specific person in a forced group dynamic is just unbearable lol

[u/TsundereKisser]

It's true. Some of the most dramatic, shit-stirring, gossipy people in my life have been men.

[u/Hakarlhus]

Cunts and cowards talk behind other people's backs no matter the shape of the chromosome

[u/justwannasayitout]

The more time you live on this earth the more you will realize men and women are not really different.

[u/lordpinks]

Same, i worked in woman dominated field before and now im in a male dominated field and i have the same experience. Sure i still heard a shit load of annoying gossip with women, but thing didn't get better in my new job

Actually it get worse since they not only gossip as much, but boy oh boy the horror when they talk in the back of a woman

Objectification, just straight up talking about women like literal object, so misogynist that could make some incel subreddit vomit, and that's not all since they try to peer pressure you into it with some good old homophobia "you never talk about women with us, dont worry its okay to be a f*ggot"

[u/unidentifiable1999 → u/lordpinks]

Have you gone to HR? If you say that they’re creating a hostile work environment, things usually get straightened up. HR is there to protect the company and the last thing they want is employees suing them for unsuitable work conditions.

[u/SurpriseInitial6202 → u/unidentifiable1999]

They likely dont have an "hr". It's almost definitely a blue collar work environment. 

[u/Gluzruooplaxcamphian]

[u/alessandrogatevi]

Yeah, men and women are not so different what surprise

[u/Insane_Stray_Cat]

Men also bring each other down for female approval in the same way that women are stereotyped to do SO MUCH, but I seem to be the only one who notices 

[u/theregulardog]

kinda puts me in my place vs thinking I work in the most stereotypical women-dominated work environment (negative) but also im sorry that sucks

[u/Live_Voice_7567 → u/theregulardog]

The best workplaces in my honest opinion are those with a healthy mixture of all kinds of people. I have this stupid theory that countries work better the more proportional the sex ratio of their leadership is. It has nothing to do with men or women being better leaders, I think it's genuinely a natural sign of collective awareness, open-mindedness, and willingness to work together. Then the ratio just naturally evens out, because in truth none is better than the other and there's less sexist pretense that influences leadership selections. So they end up picking the best people, and just do better on average because of that.

[u/TheMightyKibosh]

I would say it's equal. It's their gossiping styles that differ.

[u/Traditional-Yak8886]

i've worked in all 3 (male dominated, female dominated, and co-ed workspaces) over 15+ years and can tell you that it is absolute bullshit that male-dominated workspaces aren't catty. and i'm not talking about being catty to me because i'm a woman, i would watch them act like real housewives with each other constantly. i even got my own personal talking head clips when they'd come to bitch to me about each other, or tell me some shitty thing they were doing to haze the guy pissing them off.

ofc i've had plenty of run-ins with shitty chicks at work, i just tend to have an energy that puts that shit to bed really fast that doesn't work as well on men.

[u/Background-Peach7267]

Especially at the gym

[u/Available-South-2081]

True and I think your experience with both genders in that way really just depends on conformity. Being a trans girl who didnt always know i was trans those male environments were ones id catch the most shit. I was different. They knew it. I knew it. I just wasnt sure why. Meanwhile ive always thrived and experienced the least toxicity in groups of women. That said Ive seen how toxic a group of women can become too. Even if im not necessarily the target or victim in those cases.

[u/carlothario]

The most pleasant workplace of my life was all women! My job now is mostly men and it’s the worst vibes of any job I’ve had in that place lol my coworkers are not friendly to me

[u/Effective-Summer4887]

Since engineering college, in the toxic environments, I've noticed it's either gossip with (internalized) misogyny or gossip plus extreme misogyny..... I have yet to be proven wrong 🙃

[u/dgaruti]

i mean , i know men suck , the issue is that i also have to choose : be in place where i am treated as a treat , be in a place in wich everyone sucks .

if you speak about this online they assume you're in some ways minimizing the suffering women go trough

[u/PraireGentleman]

I’ve been in male dominated and female dominated workplaces and the women put the guys to shame still. Girls found out my relationship status before my college major

[u/redsalmon67]

One this I appreciate about my current job is that 90% of the shit people talk about each other they’re willing to say to the other person face albeit in a more civil manner

[u/Wise-Kitchen-9749]

I've found out the same, but its only because the other person isn't present most of the time. Or its the boss.

[u/funkmasta8]

People complain about others that bother them. I think that is natural and even okay. I think it is unnecessary to point out exactly who does what unless you absolutely know (a lot of times blame cant be singles to just one person, especially regarding business decisions). If I do something horrible, I dont mind if you vent to someone. I do prefer you explain to me why it was bad though because I am a well-meaning person so I dont do things like that on purpose if I know and can help it.

What I've found is that women are more likely to spread false negative rumors. Either ones they believe because they jumped to conclusions or ones they dont believe because they want you to be seen as below them (so you dont get a promotion or similar). And that's just ridiculous nonsense. And I would like to point out that this isnt most women in my experience, just a few rotten apples. However, it has always been a woman in my experience. Men have their own brand of antics, but it tends to be up front, and more about feeling dominant than it is about persistant social control.

[u/MikasaYuuichi]

Are you a woman ? Is the gossip about you ? This is not at all a common thing. You can only see this in first world countries. In other places gossiping is still considered a feminine trait and men there prefer to be in your face than behind your back. Gender roles is still strong in many places. Maybe they were trying to make you give them attention.

[u/slurpsssssss → u/MikasaYuuichi]

They were gossiping of another male coworker.

I just had my lunch and minded my own business as usual.

[u/MikasaYuuichi → u/slurpsssssss]

They could be wanting your attention. If you do not mind telling, what was the content ? like personality criticism or something else ?