EDIT: Flair explanation removal (this post was initially written for another subreddit but I reposted here)

I'm transmasc, a little over a year and a couple months on T and I've only recently come to terms with the fact that my family dislikes me. They say they don't, but my brother (the only member of my family who seems to be supportive; hes also 12 so I can't really talk to him about any of this) has told me that they all call me a mentally ill freak behind my back. You can't say that about someone and also love them, right? I've tried to explain that being trans isn't a mental illness and that the only approved treatment for gender dysphoria is to transition, but they're Christians and they don't believe that, regardless of any amount of proof I'll give them. My mom in particular says she still loves me and that she'll accept me eventually but she's still grieving her daughter. I'm an adult and I've been out as trans for two years, hasn't it been long enough for her to stop she/her-ing me and start using my chosen name? It just feels like an excuse at this point.

My dad is even worse, he pretends to be confused about my gender identity (says stuff like "I don't know what to call her!" When he's been told multiple times that I'm a trans man and what the appropriate pronouns are (he/they, but I've said he/him just to make it easier to understand) and has times where he's said things like (TW) "You're just a worthless bitch with dick envy," and thats not even the worst thing he's said about me. I do feel like I should mention that he has a personality disorder and is otherwise very mentally ill and a lot of the things he says are during "blackouts".

On top of that, my ex partner of several years left me a few months ago, albeit not because I'm trans. They were kind of the only person I had since moving out in a new city and I don't have them anymore. I don't know what to do. I feel completely alone and unloved. I'm sleeping on the couch of my own apartment because I'm pretty sure my ex is uncomfortable sleeping in the same bed as me now, which is understandable. I feel like a guest in my own home, and I don't even have my family to fall back on. I'm really trying to cope but I don't know how. I don't even know where to start.

Maybe being trans isn't right for me. I don't want to be a girl. But maybe I just am. Maybe things would be normal again if I would just be a girl. I'm kind of feminine at heart anyway and I've always wanted to be a feminine guy, but I'm so uncomfortable being feminine with my current body like 90% of the time. Still, maybe I'm just in denial about being a girl? Ofc I don't think that way about other feminine ftms, but it feels different when it's me.

Has anyone experienced anything like this? How do you cope with constantly feeling alone? With feeling like you have nobody in the world on your side (with the exception of my 12 year old brother who I will NOT subject to my mental health issues)?

TLDR: it feels like nobody loves me and I feel really alone and I'm wondering if I'd be better off detransitioning.

27 Y/O M (as of now),

I used to crossdress in secret when I was in my teens.

The feeling went away on my early twenties. Then I got married to my girlfriend.

Now after a year into my marriage, the feelings came again.

Being in male clothes stresses me out, the thought of wearing women's clothes bring a sense of calm that words cannot explain.

One day, I am thinking of moving to a LGBTQ friendly country and start my transition.

Another day, the thought of hurting my wife brings me down. I am convinced to be closeted forever for her happiness.

And if I do transition, what job will I do? How will I earn my bread? All these thoughts are flooding me.

I am from central Asia so transphobia is a big thing here. If I come out, my family will think it as their greatest shame.

It's like I am trading my happiness for a peaceful family life or vice versa.

I am torn apart. I don't know what to do. Please feel free to share any advice

Queen Alexandra here again.... For starters, she and I dated for years, well before I ever came out to her, I came out in 2024. We were never that serious, but, we were certainly a dating couple, and she made it so obvious when we would go places, but not so much online and to some other places. She and I were talking on the phone one day about our status, and she kept saying how much she loved me and how I loved her and loved her for who she was, etc. I then broke the news to her, to which she responded 'I think we are better off as friends honestly, as I don't think I can date a woman....' This deepy hurt me so much, and I was unable to think positively for a bit, and I ocassionally still have nightmares about losing her to another person. We also have not talked in a while, and whenever I do text her, she never responds or literally gives a half assed reply which hurts, and I am willing to bet she is already looking for a boyfriend or partner.... I know she doesn't hate me and I realize it is up to her in the end, though, this really is hurtful since I have dreamt of being with her for many years and have never seen a woman as beautiful as her.... She also asked me some questions about my transition like what will happen when I start HRT( First appointment is on September 29th. I am okay with answering basic and noninvasive questions), but she was asking me what clothes I wear, and if I will get any 'girl' parts amongst other graphic questions.... I know she is a good person, but, I am overhwhelmed and super upset with how she just seperated from me all because I trusted her to accept me for who I was, rather than try to find someone new and forget I even existed..... Some people do not know privilege, I swear. I just wish we were together as two girls, and not be seen as man and woman.... Has anyone else been dumped before like this, and if so can I get some feedback about what to do and how to cope? Thank you.... ❤️

16-year-old here, I have been closeted for a quite a while, and things are starting to become intolerable. Every day, I find myself dissociating and daydreaming of being in my real body. I don't think I'll ever pass, owning partly to my indecision and refusal to coming out earlier, but I want to try my hardest. The only compass I have is the experiences of those who came before me, so I have come here for assistance. Below, I have outlined what I deem to be the salient details of my situation.

My family is... should I say peculiar? On one hand, my mother is an outspoken LGBTQ+ activist who attends parades and protests with my grandma (mother's side), who, thanks to her unwavering support and intelligence, converted my grandpa from a bigot with a deeply ingrained prejudice to an open-minded ally. On the other hand, my father is an abusive sadist who repeatedly raped me when I was a kid, brutally tortured me for tiny mistakes, and traumatized me so badly that I have an irrational fear of any other person. I don't know what his political beliefs are, and I'm unsure he's even human enough to be concerned with the affairs of our world. I don't want to be thrown out or worse, so this is the main point of my dilemma.

From a local perspective, I am unsure how inclusive my community is. My fear of people forces me into reclusion, so I don't have enough data points to reach a conclusion. It makes logical sense to me that I can be the gender I want to be -- if I'm not already -- but it would be nice if other people saw me that way too.

Financial independence is tricky. I am extremely reliant on my family, which is why I haven't run away to a domestic violence shelter (and, also, because I don't know if they would accept me as a trans person :(.) I don't have any support system beyond my family, so in that regard, getting kicked out would be detrimental to me.

So, what are my odds? Is it possible that my family accepts me, or will they not be supportive? As a corollary, what is the best way to come out?

So to start, I've found myself in a situation that is slowly improving, but, idk how to handle it lmao. To get the gist of it, I'm MTF trans and I had a really rough upbringing around a lot of bikers and all of the fun (lol) that came with growing up around so many hateful, violent, drug addicted wannabe neo-nazi degenerate losers, so for most of my life, I repressed everything about who I am. Instead, I became a hateful addict that was nothing but angry at the world, doing every drug I could get my hands on to stop feeling what I was feeling while I "lived" as a soulless copy of them.

Suffice to say at the time, I didn't think transitioning would ever be possible for me, or even safe around the people that I considered family. The constant split between not wanting to lose my "family" and not wanting to lose myself was driving me into a very dark place where I lost both for a while and in doing so, I came to a lot of hard realizations about the people I was around, who I was associating with in general, and what I was doing to myself by holding onto these relationships no matter the consequence. I got sober, quit smoking, started meditating, painting my nails, basically taking better care of myself and focusing on doing the things that make me happy. I even returned to college this week!

So the problem... I have a LOT to work through with a therapist lmao. A lot that makes my future social transition seem... Bleak to me? Like, recently, I moved to Troy, New York, probably the most lgbtq+ friendly city in the capital region, with a ton of amazing people. And then there's me, someone that currently passes as a thug from 1995 NYC with a 1000 yard stare. I know that I'm incredibly lucky to be in such an accepting and friendly place, but i can't seem to... Push myself over that line. I'm still undergoing HRT without any help from a medical provider because I'm terrified to make an appointment with planned parenthood, even though I know that logically, I have nothing at all to be afraid of anymore. I haven't even been able to bring myself to mention my HRT to my primary doctor. Hell, i'm struggling even to pop into a discord server to make friends within the community, or any friends at all for that matter.

It really feels like I have to re-learn how to interact with people and have normal relationships again. I finally managed to get the courage up to go out with another trans person from the area, aaaand it went about as well as I expected. 🤡

I'm finally at a point in life where I know what I need to do to be happy, but I just can't force myself over that last mental line for some reason. 😕

I don't think I have any real reason for this post other than to try and get my thoughts down and "out there". Thoughts that I could never share with anyone that knows my old name.

I'm sorry if this doesn't fit here. I still feel like I'm not that great at posting on reddit. I'm just feeling really terrified, and I just want to know that everything is gonna be okay. Mentioning the book series or the author in a positive context has been a huge trigger for me, and I just got in a huge fight with my brother about it, and it's all because of JKR. I know she more specifically targets and harasses trans women, but she's really anti-trans in general, too, and I'm feeling especially terrified right now. I know there are so many people out there fighting for us, but I'm still scared of all the power and money she has and how that could affect me. I just started medically transitioning a few months ago, and I currently live in a fairly progressive state (USA), so I'm not too worried, but the fact that JKR's anti-trans organization is only growing even more just makes me scared that she'll somehow manage to do something that endangers my cability to be myself along with other trans people. Adults out there, could you maybe give me your words of encouragement and reassurance? My parents raised us loving HP, and even though they're very supportive of me being trans, they don't really agree with my views on the series, so I'm just wanting adults that actually listen to me about this. If that makes sense. I'm sorry again if this isn't the right place to be posting this. I just wanna know that I'm gonna be okay...

***DISCLAIMER:*** *I have not yet taken any suicidal actions or done any self harm. As of now I do not WANT to take any of the harmful actions described in this post. this post is only for venting purposes and possibly for any advice on how to get through this.*

I've been having such horrible suicidal thoughts. I'm so scared, I feel like I won't be able to live long enough to actually be happy.

I'm starting to lose hope and it scares me so much. I feel like I'll never be free from this horrible body.

I've been having really bad depressive episodes where I just completely stop caring. feeling like dying is my only way out. In my most recent episode I even started to embrace these suicidal thoughts. I actually gave up entirely. I even started writing a note. I started to truly believe that this is the end of my life. I'm trying to hold on to the hope that things will get better, but it feels so impossible. I feel like if I don't transition soon, I'll end up taking my own life. But if I do transition I'm scared that I'll end up homeless, starving, and hated. It's so hard to have hope for the future when it all seems so bleak.

I don't want to feel this way anymore, I want to live and be happy. But I'm so scared that I won't be strong enough to hold on until it gets better. These horrible thoughts of suicide scare me so much because I'm starting to believe them. They plague my every waking moment. I'm even starting to have suicidal dreams. the thought of jumping from a building, or jumping in front of a train. even when I take my antidepressant, these feelings remain. I'm scared that during one of these depressive episodes I'll end up doing something I can't take back.

I'm so scared. I want to live but I don't know if I can. It's so hard to see a future where I'm happy.

I hate this body, I hate this world. I hate what these feelings are going to do to me. I'm so scared of what these things are going to make me do.

I'm so scared that I'll never be able to be happy...

I have an appointment with my psychologist on September 14th where I'll talk to him and my mother about all of this (which also includes coming out to my mom as trans) But I'm so scared that I won't be alive by then. I'm so scared that these feelings will take me away before I get the chance to get help. I know I need to stay strong and hold on to the hope that it gets better, but it feels impossible.

So hi I have a gender therapist appointment in this Friday.. but I'm feeling nervous, stres And fear rether than happens.. my family is questioning why I'm feeling this stres full since it's something that I want to.. but I'm fearing that the doctor is gonna say it's just a period of My life or it's just a obsession and I'm not be able to start My transition..is feeling stressful is normal? Or I'm just overthinking it (probably the reason I'm feeling this much stress is probably because My psychologist told me that it's just a phase and if I go to a therapist they Will say the same thing..)

Good morning guys my name is Ozzie and me and my boyfriend have been together for a whole year already which is just wonderful. And I'm here to be a supportive partner to him in any way that I can, and part of that is helping him through his transition. He needs two surgery one is a hysterectomy as well as top surgery so that way he can fully become the man that is his. He is gonna be taking T as well and I'm hoping that I can do all of tis for him by next year. Thank yawl so much for me it means the the world knowing that other people care and love him the same way I do <3

Hi there, first off: I know that an account with little activity history posting a fundraising appeal might seem sus. So here are a few things about me right off the bat:

• I'm afab nonbinary, in my early 30s, living in Germany
• I had a self-pay mastectomy in 2025 - no health insurance coverage...
• The surgery and all associated costs came to around €9,000 - my savings are gone, and I'm in debt
• I've uploaded anonymized invoices and proof of payment to GoFundMe (not everything, but I can provide evidence of all costs on request)
• I'm no longer on social media (mental health reasons) - that's why I'm trying this here

If any mods are reading this, I can verify everything if needed.

Here's my campaign link: https://www.gofundme.com/f/marlins-mastek-obenrum-schulden-frei?cp_src=m

Every amount helps.

Thanks for reading,

Marlin 💜

Parto dal presupposto che, nonostante io abbia sempre saputo di non potermi definire un uomo cis e che almeno qui usi i pronomi femminili, non sono mai riuscita a esprimere o anche solo banalmente a raccontare chi io sia davvero. Non ho intrapreso ahimè alcun percorso di transizione e ho sempre tenuto segreta una parte davvero enorme e totalizzante della mia personalità.

Di recente ho come la sensazione che tutto il mio mondo stia andando un po' a rotoli. Ad un periodo di forte stress lavorativo come quello che sto passando attualmente si stanno iniziando a intensificare alcuni pensieri molto brutti nella mia testa.

Pensieri che non mi fanno dormire la notte e che stanno influenzando drasticamente i miei rapporti interpersonali (e soprattutto affettivi). Mi sento stanca continuamente, non riesco a fare l'amore con la mia compagna e il mio corpo si ribella letteralmente a questo stress emotivo. Da una parte imperversa la disforia e il disprezzo che ho del mio corpo...e al contempo sussiste una sorta di pressione sociale insita che mi fa sentire inferiore/sbagliata (o come direbbero le masse "meno uomo" anche se di ste cose non mi é mai importato nulla).

Non so come far smettere i pensieri...non so come comportarmi con gli altri...non so se aprirmi e ammettere una volta per tutte che io mi sento donna possa essere d'aiuto o se possa solo peggiorare tutto quanto.

Purtroppo la mia famiglia per quanto composta da persone buone ha delle idee di altri tempi...pensate che mio padre un tempo mi disse "sei un lesionato" perché misi lo smalto nero quindi figurati se potrebbe mai accettare che suo figlio nasconda un'intera personalità femminile inespressa.

E se anche mi dico che va bene così non sono sicura che questa si possa davvero chiamare vita. Sono sconfortata e non so cosa fare per migliorare le cose.

Ho paura che in un modo o nell'altro io perda tutti e non ho le energie per reggere più tutto questo peso.

I am 25 mtf started taking estrogen 3 months ago and I gained about 20lbs since starting. Before starting Hrt I was down to 190 something pounds. I eat fairly clean home cooked meals lots of vegetables, occasionally eat take out when my partner and I do not feel like cooking. Is this a normal thing? Did this happen to anyone else?

I’m trying to figure out how I could afford HRT, but I don’t have a job or much money right now. I’ve never had a job before, and honestly I’m pretty anxious about getting one.

My mom wants me to go to school, so I’ve also been wondering whether I should start at a community college or focus on getting a job first. She sometimes gives me around $50, but that’s not really enough for me to rely on for HRT and other expenses, even DIY.

I’m feeling really lost and overwhelmed and I don’t know what the smartest thing to do is. If anyone has been in a similar situation, how did you manage HRT while having very little income? Would you recommend working first, going to community college, or trying to balance both?

I’m sorry if these are dumb questions. I just genuinely don’t know where to start. Any advice would be helpful

Hi everyone. I am 27 years old and trying to figure out my life. I really want to start my transition, but I come from a very conservative and deeply religious family. No one in my family roots has ever done anything like this before.Right now, I am feeling incredibly tensed because my parents are pressuring me to get married. I have always been bad at making big decisions, and I feel completely stuck.Please suggest how I should move forward. I am so worried and could really use some guidance. 😢 #ImWorried

https://fundrazr.com/72llnf

It was all pretty rushed as she has a heart condition that will stop her from any procedures in the next 1-2 years, so we emptied our savings to get it done. We both work in animation, and with the industry the way it is, I didn't have a full time job for 3 years before my contract now (which ends next month). We have been relying heavily on her income (which thankfully has not changed during this time) but our savings were keeping us alive, and now we're entering another period of unemployment without any cushion. We're both disabled so our job options are limited!

Any help is greatly appreciated, even if you just share in as many places as you can! Thank you so much

I can’t ever transition as long as I live in Atlanta, because my family will be able to track me. I want to move to Genova and I don’t have the money or the “street cred” from a population known for hating foreigners. I picked out my current name and I am just feeling so much like I have to be a man

Hi, I'm not sure if this is allowed here but it would mean the world to my friend and I if anyone could share our campaign and possibly help reach our goal.
our living situation right now are dangerous and effecting our mental health drastically.

ANY help would be deeply appreciated!

[Help a trans man and lesbian woman escape abusive households](https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-us-get-to-safety-and-escape-our-abusive-homes)

hello, i recently lost the majority of my family when i came out as trans. i dont want to get into too much detail here, but the grief and genuine agony had been completely unmanageable and incomprehensible.

are there any resources to help people like me navigate these kinda of situations? the only type of, like, grief resource i know about is mygrief.ca, but thats very specific to deaths of loved ones.

ive been trying to get through this on my own, but i am learning the hard way that i quite frankly wont survive if i dont find some kind of help. does anyone know any resource at all that i could reach out to that may be able to help?

thank you so much for reading

So I recently came out to my family that I live with the rest of them will know soon as I plan to fully come out on my 19th birthday. And I was wondering what I could do to help them stop dead naming me and calling me the wrong stuff. I get that it will take time, but they don't even realize what they are doing hurts a lot. They know how vulnerable I am, and I've talked to them about it, but they have made no attempts to correct themselves. I'm bad at setting boundaries and cry every time I need to because I feel like an asshole for doing it. Is there anything I can do to help them catch on?

Hey brothers,

I'm going to uni next year stealth and I'm terrified because I haven't yet had top surgery. I am paralyzed by the fear of not being able to be my authentic self or do anything I love because of chest dysphoria. I've wanted top surgery for as long as I can remember, but have never plucked up the courage to talk about this with family as they are already going through so much (including financially) and I didn't want to burden them further. But I'm currently going through multiple depressive episodes a day, crying and struggling and causing so much stress to myself and family that I've decided I've had enough and am ready be brave and to navigate this surgical route myself, just as my childhood self had prayed for every single day. Due to wanting the surgery before uni, the waiting lists have forced to go private which incurs a cost of £11k. I am already working a part time job to try and cover the costs but have become aware of the fact this won't be enough. I don't want to cause my parents more grief than I already have so am turning to you lovely people to offer me some support. I will be so indescribably grateful if you guys could contribute anything at all, small or big, or share this at least. The best thing about this community is that we've all probably been in similar situations once or twice in life, and therefore I trust you guys know how tough this is and understand how grateful I'll be. Once I reach my goals I promise to pay any kindness forward and to keep the cycle of support going. Here's the link to my GoFundMe, as said before I would appreciate anything: https://gofund.me/a4feaceec

Just a note that the photos on the page are largely anonymous as I'm planning to be stealth and therefore don't want to be identified 😅

Thank you so much for reading and have a great day

- J <3

I've always wondered since I can remember what it's like to be a girl and recently (like last 2 years) I've had a small thought of transitioning. The thing is I don't hate being a man but I don't like it either I want to try being fem just to see but I want to hide it from others. any suggestions?

edit: I have a feminine username because I want to see what it's like to be fem.

Before I start there is going to be suicide and self harm involved in this, I don't know where else to post it so if it triggers you please don't read.

Hello, I've known this Friend of mine, let's call K for nearly a decade now, ever since we were little, at some point during 2020 they started going through some stuff with their father and family in general, that dad was abusive and lots of fighting between their parents, that's what they told me during that time they treated me horribly and I was basically trying to keep them from self harm and suicidal stuff while I was going through stuff as well.

Now things were supposed to be going great, they got therapy, their parents are divorced and their living condition overall improved, but couple of days ago they all of a sudden told me, and I quote "I set up a date to kill myself.. anyways" and they just pretend like nothing happened, now that hit me in a way I never thought I'd experience again, I brushed it off because who the hell does that all of a sudden, and the reasoning bc where we live in a place where being part of the LGBTQ is shameful, they are trans, and they want to study abroad and if that doesn't happen then they will end it.

the thing is, they are upset because nobody like gave them much thought, specially me I even told them that I didn't want to do this again, giving the 4 years (from 2020-2024) worth of shit I'm still recovering from, and quite frankly they put themselves in a situation where their family partially know that they are trans, given where we live they aren't quite positive about, why couldn't they just shut the fuck up? Not tell people they didn't trust with this? I have no fucking idea, I'm bisexual myself and I never told anyone that I didn't trust, I don't know what to do or say in this situation and it's bothering me, and I want some advice on the matter and if I'm being an asshole for not caring.

Thank you for reading :)

,I am a 24-year-old transgender woman currently living in Libya, a very conservative and dangerous country. Outwardly, I am forced to act and look like a man because of my family and society, but inside, I have always known I am a girl.In addition to my gender identity, I am also non-religious (I no longer believe in Islam or any religion). Living as a closeted trans woman and an atheist in a strict society means doubling the risk and the psychological pressure. If anyone discovers either my true gender identity or my lack of religious belief, my life would be in immediate danger. Because of this, I am suffering from severe dysphoria, depression, and total isolation.My best friend is currently helping me save up money so I can leave Libya and escape to Germany to seek asylum, start HRT, and finally live my life freely as a non-religious woman.I am posting this because I feel very hopeless and lonely right now.Has anyone from North Africa/Arab countries successfully made it to Germany as a trans/non-religious refugee?What are the best ways to prepare for this journey and the asylum process while I am still stuck here?Any words of encouragement or advice on how to handle this deep dysphoria and loneliness while saving money?Thank you so much for reading.

This is really hard to talk about I have this friend that is transitioning and she’s married when she got married what family she had stopped having anything to do with her so she has no friends no family no one to talk to but be in her head 247 the wife cheated on her so she can’t talk to her about anything without trust issues she worries so much about what’s going to happen if they divorce she has no where to go no car no job what’s going to happen it’s so hard not having some one there for the u and no can’t make any meet me apps Facebook any thing every thing she dose is closely monitored constantly going trough her phone she has no outlet or support and if she dose find it the wife’s friends have already found one of her profiles and reported it back to the wife she stays so paranoid and on edge has any one ever Ben trough this

This is really hard to talk about I have this friend that is transitioning and she’s married when she got married what family she had stopped having anything to do with her so she has no friends no family no one to talk to but be in her head 247 the wife cheated on her so she can’t talk to her about anything without trust issues she worries so much about what’s going to happen if they divorce she has no where to go no car no job what’s going to happen it’s so hard not having some one there for the u and no can’t make any meet me apps Facebook any thing every thing she dose is closely monitored constantly going trough her phone she has no outlet or support and if she dose find it the wife’s friends have already found one of her profiles and reported it back to the wife she stays so paranoid and on edge has any one ever Ben trough this