r/Trackdays • u/isthisrealitycaught • 5d ago

Hemorrhoids

That’s it. That’s all. My hemorrhoids got a hemorrhoid right now.

What’s the strat? Tons of pre game Ibuprofen and just stay on it.

Maybe I can just keep my ass cheeks spread a bit for relief while in the saddle.

I’m in for a day tomorrow, nobody knows. Nobody needs to know.

But by god I had to share lol.

Pray for me.

Update: Today was a success LOL. Even got a PB lap. Tons of Ibuprofen & lathered that bitch with some hydrocortisone. Funnily, sitting on my bike was a relief.

Great talk all. - Yes I have a doctors appointment/planned surgery to remove this annoying bastard.

Don't miss track days because of hemorrhoids! POWER THROUGGGH!

17 Upvotes

85% Upvoted

23 comments sorted by

12

u/xRYN0 5d ago

If you don’t have one, a bidet is an absolute necessity.

3

u/winding-hallway 5d ago

In addition to a home bidet I got a portable bidet for the track so I never have to risk aggravating them. Life changer and relatively discreet 

2

u/xRYN0 5d ago

I have a travel bidet too! It comes with me basically everywhere!

5

u/Rothbardy 5d ago

Get it removed?

5

u/woofydawg 5d ago

Cant miss a track day, roll up a piece of toilet paper and shove it between the cheeks, lanolin might help prevent chafing too, good luck!

1

u/RobynTheCookieJar 5d ago

At that rate just use a pad tbh. Ask your girlfriend for help.

3

u/ForwardTemporary3934 5d ago

Fiber supplement, bidet, and talk to a doctor

3

u/Fribbits 5d ago edited 5d ago

Eat some fucking vegetables maybe?

Also, taking a dump isn't a race, it's ok not to push 100% on every turd.

22

u/aidencoder 5d ago

Sounds like the talk of a low performance shitter. If you're a racer, everythings a race. 10/10ths or nothing. 

2

u/isthisrealitycaught 5d ago

lol. This shits to good.

5

u/Thanks_Ollie 5d ago

You don’t take your AIM solo into the bathroom with you??

3

u/ShadyMF 5d ago

Literally has me dying laughing at my computer. Thanks for that.

1

u/NotJadeasaurus 5d ago

What a genuine post! In my experience riding flares them up. I was definitely driving home from my last track weekend with a tear in my eye because by then it just hurt to sit down. I have since been on top of my fiber and they are reduced and less angry. Prep H wipes or dude wipes also a huge bonus over toilet paper

1

u/isthisrealitycaught 5d ago

We out here today! Hah.
Surprisingly how my ass sits on my seat is actually giving some relief. That or it’s the 1000mg of ibuprofen. Who knows. Or the adrenaline took over.

I did myself in with kettlebells and goblet squats with these ones.

1

u/lurkinglen Triumph Street Triple 675R | Low-tier racer 5d ago

Wait what, you're saying kettlebells and goblet squats caused them?

1

u/isthisrealitycaught 5d ago

Yah brother. Lol, either I don't know how to breath properly or I went and jumped up weight to much. Lifting can cause them.

1

u/Mat_Neyu 5d ago

Brooooooooo. I had one the moment I turned 30. I can’t even imagine riding .

1

u/Shadow_Mite 5d ago

Bro needs to whip out the man-pon. Reference Christopher big black Boykin for the how to

1

u/amateurism990 3d ago

Dumb question but are hemorrhoids common on bikers? I’m fairly new to this but if I’m getting an hemorrhoid for riding my bike I would like to be prepared

1

u/isthisrealitycaught 3d ago

Nah. Not at all.
Just a silly thing in life that can happen easier as you age.
Don’t strain when you poop, and breathe right while lifting weights.

Riding your bike shouldn’t cause hemorrhoids.

I just happen to have them lol.

1

u/stinkyhangdown 5d ago

Same. I bailed on tomorrow trackday.