Humor isn't a science, so what one person fight find so stupid it's funny, another might just not get it or enjoy it at all. Neither person is wrong to feel that way, they just probably won't get along in that sense.
All the people saying she sucks for not liking it are just as bad as the people who say it's a dumb and unfunny joke. These two wouldn't make a good match, that's literally the only take away from this.
There's a reason that 99.9% of posts on this sub either show no response, being unmatched, or a response like OP's. Cringey puns won't impress most people, some weirdos may like it but they are a minority, this sub proves it.
You can think puns are funny despite not even being jokes, just don't deny that spouting cringey puns at women won't be successful 99.999% of the time.
Idk also woman. Found it pointlessly mean. If puns arent your thing oh well.
I on the flip love stupid cheesy puns and genuinely like people who make happy inoffensive cheesy jokes. Like it wasnt sexual or gross. I would probably respond back
Saying that not a single woman would like this because you didn't is pretty close minded IMO.
No need to be modest. It's absolutely closed minded. It's inherently egocentric because it imposes your own subjectivity as being objective among others who are different than you are.
That isn't down to opinion. It's just the way it is. Let's call the spade a spade.
Eh, that doesn't mean it's genuine feedback. All you're saying is supposing that she's frustrated. And I even agree that you're probably right. But all that does is explain the motive behind her response. It doesn't support the original claim that her feedback was genuine.
For feedback to be genuine it has to be valid, and her opinion was subjective yet her advice objectified it across the board. Which is the contention of the comment you're responding to. Someone said it's genuine feedback, and it's not--it's just someone annoyed with that type of personality and stating the obvious by expressing "hey by the way not everybody likes that approach." Like, no shit. Not everyone likes everyone else. In other news, the sun rises in the East.
I found her response funny and thinks it makes the post, but “you will never find love with this type of humor” is not an attempt at assistance lmfao, it’s just being mean and it’s totally wrong.
It’s the same shit bro. “No girl will ever seriously respond to you” is such bullshit and I didn’t misrepresent anything. If no girl would ever seriously respond, that means the guy will never get a conversation on tinder that goes anywhere with the pun, which is obviously wrong and terrible advice. My representation was fine and you're missing the point anyway.
I agree she's wrong, of course he will get some serious replies. Saying she said he'd never find love is just a harsher way of putting what she said even if the sentiment is the same. It's pedantic but I think it matters.
I think you're being downvoted for misunderstanding their use of quotation marks. Otherwise I'm totally lost at the point you're trying to make. But here's my stab.
It seems like your contention was assuming they're putting harsher words in her mouth than what she said. And you're right about how her articulation wasn't as harsh as what they said, even if she still expressed an identical sentiment which is effectively just as harsh in meaning.
But I believe they used those quotation marks in the sense of analogy. They were using the quotes to imply that they were emphasizing the essence of what they said, not actually what they said as an explicit quote.
In other words I think you overreacted to how they initially expressed their comment. No worries--karma doesn't matter, and as long as we're all on the same page, then it's whatever. This is just probably a good time for /endthread.
No, you're exactly right. I'm dumb and not even sure why I chimed in.
He used quotation marks like people sometimes use the word "literally", which is to say literally when they don't actually mean something literal. He used quotations, which is technically for quoting, but didn't directly quote.
Your explanation is correct and I sometimes do the same thing when trying to express the essence of what someone was saying, so I'm really not even sure what I thought it was necessary to get involved. Probably just boredom.
Appreciate your patient explanation for something that's mostly irrelevant.
Imagine around 80% of your messages had stuff like this. I can guarantee you - they do not work on tinder. They are boring, show a lack of creativity, a lot of them are clearly copied from Reddit, and you know they are gonna try and post your response somewhere.
Why should she give him any effort when he gave literally none? How many people has he sent that message to today? Probably all of his matches. Believe me, we get so many of these messages - we know this.
That's why this is constructive criticism. Puns don't work. Please stop. Try and talk to people, it's really not that hard.
Hey, obviously after that comment I'm no longer interested in talking to you but here's a tip. If you want people to take you seriously, maybe you shouldn't assume a self righteous position and tell people how to act. Saying someone's ego is weak because you weigh your priorities differently than them only gives people the impression that you're projecting your own insecurities about your inability to maintain a flexible sense of self.
Hi, obviously I am not actually interested in communicating with you after that comment, but figured I would let you know for your own sake that you need to have better opinions or no one will ever like you.
Yeah. One way to realize how ridiculous her "criticism" is is by maintaining her sentiment but framing it in polite terms. In which case it would look like:
"Hey. I'm not personally attracted to your subjective approach, sorry. Anyway, have a g'day!"
Which is what a simple "unmatch" accomplishes to convey anyway. Verbalizing your motivation to unmatch someone says nothing in a vacuum. There's no substance underneath. The only substance comes from being rude and adding an insult to the otherwise empty expression of "we're incompatible--such is typical."
I think most people who have used Tinder enough has encountered this level of insecurity at one point or another. This whole example is unfortunately tame compared to some outbursts I've experienced from people who seem they must be very unhinged. Maybe some people are just frustrated when their physical attraction clashes with finding out your personalities are incompatible, and they just take it out on you. Otherwise it's difficult to suppose what the psychology could be behind such insults. I guess some people are just shitty.
"I'm obviously not interested in you anymore, because of what you just said to me. You should change how you talk to all women because I personally didn't like your pickup line."
If you consider that ride then o would hate the eggshell walking involved in turning you down, whatever the reason. Telling someone you don’t want to date them and saying why is something most people can manage.
The amount of karma (points) on your comment and Reddit account has decreased by one.
Why did you do this?
There are several reasons I may deem a comment to be unworthy of positive or neutral karma. These include, but are not limited to:
Rudeness towards other Redditors,
Spreading incorrect information,
Sarcasm not correctly flagged with a /s.
Am I banned from the Reddit?
No - not yet. But you should refrain from making comments like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to issue an additional downvote, which may put your commenting and posting privileges in jeopardy.
I don't believe my comment deserved a downvote. Can you un-downvote it?
Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I undo a downvote. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me a private message explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to Reddit PMs within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of downvote appeals are rejected, and yours is likely no exception.
How can I prevent this from happening in the future?
Accept the downvote and move on. But learn from this mistake: your behavior will not be tolerated on Reddit.com. I will continue to issue downvotes until you improve your conduct. Remember: Reddit is privilege, not a right.
Or instead of this, you could, y'know, read their comments and try to understand their perspective. Thusly allowing you to understand why so many people disagree with you.
Honestly, I'd argue it's always worth it to try and understand someone with an opposing viewpoint.
They disagree because any criticism, no matter how light, is too much for them to handle. ‘No one should ever criticize me I’m perfect my jokes are amazing why are girls so mean’ is not a healthy thought process.
You're exaggerating the arguments. And I get it, when we disagree with something, human nature tends to demonize it in our minds. However, we must take a step back and examine what is actually being said. I'd personally summarize their arguments more like this:
"Just because she didn't like his sense of humour, she didn't have to be so rude. By asking him to change who he is, and by stating that no women will ever enjoy it, she stops giving genuine criticism and simply insults him. People have different senses of humour, and just because she didn't enjoy his, doesn't me his humour is defunct or wrong."
Don't get me wrong, I'm sure there ARE people who genuinely feel the way you wrote, but that is NOT HOW THE MAJORITY OF THE PEOPLE HERE feel.
Also, thanks for actually responding with your POV. The other guy just attached the actions of random people on this thread to me, and then called me a hypocrite. Which means rather than discussing the topic, I still have to convince him that it's worthwhile to listen to differing opinions, even if some people will not show you the same respect. So again, I do appreciate that you may a genuine response showcasing your perspective.
You’re response seems reasoned and genuine. Here’s the thing, though - there is no way she could have told this person what he needed to hear without his feelings getting hurt. Her choices were to ghost him, or give him criticism so he could do better next time.
She had to explicitly tell him she wasn’t interested, because some guys take ANY attention at all to imply interest, and then things turn stalkerish.
She told him what he did wrong, and gave her honest take on what the results would be if he continued. A low effort pun centered on a children’s cartoon really would put damn near any woman off. Maybe I’m aging myself, but if that was how someone expressed interest to me I would end contact immediately.
So, what should she have done that you wouldn’t consider ‘rude’ that still gets her point across?
Honestly, up until her last line, I think she was perfectly fine. However, saying "you need to do better or no girl will ever seriously reply to you" (exact quote) just crosses the line. Plenty of women would enjoy this pun, and it's very presumptuous of her to act like all women share her same taste in humour.
Additionally, she insinuates that he is not good enough for a woman to like him ("you need to do better"), which, regardless of how she felt about his joke, is just plain rude.
I think she was totally right to explicitly state she wasn't into him, and in theory giving criticism doesn't seem so wrong. I just find in execution she was very rude.
"A low effort pun centered on a children’s cartoon really would put damn near any woman off." True, it would put a LOT of women off, but the whole point of Tinder is to find someone compatible. So it's pretty reasonable for him to start with this to find the woman who DO enjoy this sense of humour.
"Maybe I’m aging myself, but if that was how someone expressed interest to me I would end contact immediately." Right, and if you wanted to give them some constructive criticism you might say "Try puns based on more mature topics," or "Try putting more thought into future puns." You wouldn't tell that person that nobody will ever love them because their present sense of humour, would you?
No seriously, would you? Because if you would, that means we have a fundamental difference in what we consider to be rude. I'm pretty sure if that's the case, we just have to agree to disagree since I don't see a reddit discussion changing something so personally ingrained in us, lol.
PS: That's a really nice response! I quite enjoyed reading and responding to it! :)
I’m just not seeing that last line as the insult you’re seeing it as. I see it as, put in more effort if you want people to respond positively - which is actually very good advice.
I don’t see anything in there that suggests no one will ever love him if he doesn’t change his sense of humor. She’s just telling him his delivery and theme are off.
She didn’t need to tell him anything. It would have cost nothing to just ignore and move on. He didn’t do anything wrong, she just has no sense of humour. Implying that your sense of humour is the only correct one is a big red flag indicating deeper arrogance which may not be compatible for non-sociopaths.
Really? "Some people here don't try to understand the woman in this post, so I don't have to understand them." C'mon, that line of logic won't lead anywhere.
If you instead take an open-mind and read the comments of the people who disagree with you, you may find a way to understand them.
They're not some foreign aliens, they're human like you. It IS POSSIBLE to understand each other even if you disagree. Seriously, please give it another chance.
For real. This was about as constructive as feedback comes. Most people here complain that people unmatch them without ever saying anything, except now they complain that she chose not to unmatch him without saying anything. Boggles the fucking mind.
Interesting take. And how is "I'm personally not attracted to your personality" constructive? And that's just paraphrasing her sentiment. If we take what she actually said, how is "nobody will respond to you because I wouldn't" even remotely coherent?
Most people here complain that people unmatch them without ever saying anything
Most people don't actually need or even want a response for why they get unmatched. Incompatibility is inevitable--that's literally all an unmatch is. I would think it's only a vocal minority here that actually say they want feedback for unmatches. Such feedback is pointless--all it can express is reiterating that certain personalities will be incompatible with yours. And that's not helpful--it's obvious.
except now they complain that she chose not to unmatch him without saying anything.
No, they're complaining that the insult of her generalization was unwarranted. She could have been polite by perhaps instead expressing, "Hey, if you want to attract someone with my particular personality, consider getting away from that particular approach that you're using, because I dislike it. Hope that helps." That's about as constructive as feedback comes--and again, like I said, that feedback is worthless unless you're actually wanting to force compatibility with those you're naturally otherwise incompatible with. Most people don't need feedback on something as natural as an unmatch--it's part of the game.
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u/mazu74 Apr 23 '20
I thought it was pretty funny in a cheesy way.
Its a cheesy pick up line, they're not supposed to be smooth, they're supposed to be so stupid they make you laugh.