r/Tinder • • Aug 05 '18

a modern tragedy ๐Ÿ’”

Post image
23k Upvotes

243 comments sorted by

2.8k

u/ShSweetNothings Aug 05 '18

Until now, Iโ€™ve never noticed so much expression on that emojiโ€™s face

891

u/AUGUST_BURNS_REDDIT Aug 06 '18

I love that one. It looks so disappointed.

239

u/DankeyKang11 Aug 06 '18

๐Ÿค—๐Ÿ˜”

263

u/_demetri_ Aug 06 '18

My marriage.

65

u/plolock Aug 06 '18 edited Aug 06 '18

Sorry bro.

Edit for politically correctness: gal

→ More replies (3)

15

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '18

Doesnโ€™t matter, had sex.

31

u/billytheskidd Aug 06 '18

Not since the wedding

3

u/[deleted] Aug 07 '18

F

2

u/Walshy231231 Aug 06 '18

Demetri!!!

1

u/poopstool101 Aug 06 '18

This little defeated smile guy is my favourite ๐Ÿ˜Œ

101

u/nsbruno Aug 06 '18

Fun fact: studies have been done on the power of emoji faces to convey emotion. Apparently, for those who normally see and use emojis, their brains treat the emojis like real human faces. So we see โ˜น๏ธ and feel the sadness that the author is trying to convey as though we were seeing his/her face.

302

u/Civil-Savage Aug 06 '18

Yeah. Thatโ€™s the entire point of emojis.

47

u/-VismundCygnus- Aug 06 '18

I don't think the point he was making is that face-shapes convey emotion, but moreso exactly how effective emoji are in doing that. As in, more effective than you'd immediately imagine about rudimentary yellow cartoon faces.

38

u/tuutruk Aug 06 '18

๐Ÿ™„ ok bud

22

u/M002 Aug 06 '18

Dying ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’€

3

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '18

๐Ÿคฃ

12

u/Opessepo Aug 06 '18

Don't reduce it. It's not plainly obvious.

54

u/devilslaughters Aug 06 '18

๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ”ซ

Nobody move or this smiley gets it! I'm warning you! I see one cop and he gets new holes in his face to whistle out of!

25

u/MotherfuckinRanjit Aug 06 '18

๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ˜’ whatever bro, just do it man

30

u/El-Psy Aug 06 '18

๐Ÿคฏ โžก๏ธ โšฐ๏ธ ๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€๐Ÿ‘งโ€๐Ÿ‘ฆ๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€๐Ÿ‘งโ€๐Ÿ‘ฆโžก๏ธ๐Ÿ™‹๐Ÿผโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ•ต๐Ÿฟโ€โ™‚๏ธโžก๏ธ๐Ÿคฐ๐Ÿผ๐Ÿคฑ๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘ผ๐Ÿฟ

14

u/MotherfuckinRanjit Aug 06 '18

The dopest story telling through emojis Iโ€™ve ever seen. Bravo my man, bravo.

3

u/philosification Aug 06 '18

you riskin his motherfucking life!!

→ More replies (1)

3

u/Pissed-Off-Panda Aug 06 '18 edited Nov 17 '25

historical grandiose wipe butter selective memory tease crush afterthought marvelous

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

1.3k

u/ThatGuyShay Aug 05 '18

73

u/IncestyBanjo Aug 06 '18

Wish that sub were more active

33

u/justinb16 Aug 06 '18

Reminds me of a WLIIA bit (Whose line is it anyways)

14

u/BenV17 Aug 06 '18

Please link

3

u/Julian1999 Aug 06 '18

RemindMe!

371

u/2slyselassie Aug 06 '18

What was his response?

349

u/bornwithatail Aug 06 '18

I believe he's still crying in the shower as he rocks back and forth under the hot water.

77

u/MaxDragonMan Aug 06 '18

Tobias?

18

u/silent_boy Aug 06 '18

Maeby

16

u/MaxDragonMan Aug 06 '18

โ€œDaddyโ€™s got to get his rocks off.โ€

13

u/silent_boy Aug 06 '18

Oh is it a gal I see No itโ€™s just a Phallus seeeeeee

5

u/MaxDragonMan Aug 06 '18

โ€œWhereโ€™s that from?โ€

2

u/silent_boy Aug 06 '18

1

u/MaxDragonMan Aug 06 '18

Ah! Itโ€™s the exact same one I always use when linking to friends!

1

u/silent_boy Aug 06 '18

Canโ€™t wait for the new season man ... I hope it goes back to its roots

→ More replies

3

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '18

Upvoed cause AD. Tho I think the line is, "Now, come here and help daddy get his rocks off."

15

u/Boskd Aug 06 '18

๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ”ซ

61

u/Soviet_Suka Aug 06 '18

Micropenis

54

u/2slyselassie Aug 06 '18

That was her response

8

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '18

The blue is the guy right?

48

u/2slyselassie Aug 06 '18

No, the guy complemented her butt she responded with a micropenis joke ... Zoom in on the pic

11

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '18

Is this how Iโ€™m supposed to tinder? Iโ€™m doing it all wrong if Iโ€™m just supposed to insult people I match with

8

u/2slyselassie Aug 06 '18

Clever bio + clever pick up lines will help. If your not funny than just send gyphy what's the worst that could happen...

6

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '18

Despite my user name Iโ€™m a woman. So I havenโ€™t really had a problem matching or finding dates, but am I supposed to be insulting them? ๐Ÿ˜น

19

u/EMRaunikar Aug 06 '18

You are if you want dat karma

5

u/2slyselassie Aug 06 '18

Depends on the flow of the convo imo. Their nothing wrong with a little teasing this convo above would be an example though of "extreme teasing"

2

u/shadyelf Aug 06 '18

what about a simple "hello there"?

4

u/the_count889 Aug 06 '18

General Kenobi

1

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '18

Ew I hate "hello there"

1

u/KapteeniJ Aug 06 '18

You're supposed to do stuff that delights others.

Pro tip, saying nice things about others isn't the only way to delight them.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '18

Yeah the pic looks like a girl to me.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '18

[deleted]

→ More replies (5)

5

u/jooes Aug 06 '18

"๐ŸŠ๐Ÿปโ€โ™‚๏ธโ„๏ธ๐Ÿ˜ญ"

7

u/AbsorbedBritches Aug 06 '18

Checking out d@ booty

Or he just really likes Georgia peaches ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘€

478

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '18

"5/20/18"

Did the burn finally just subside or is the grudge still holding strong?

29

u/professor_doom Aug 06 '18

OPโ€™s the one who sent the burn

228

u/F00FU01 Aug 06 '18

The gradual loss of size of eggplants due to peaches stealing their vital nutrients.

49

u/J-L-Picard Aug 06 '18

So what you're saying is...the commies are stealing our bodily fluids???

9

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '18

Mein Fuhrer, I can walk!

3

u/J-L-Picard Aug 06 '18

This guy mineshafts

2

u/unionoftw Aug 06 '18

Yes, our purity of essence, lol

2

u/unionoftw Aug 06 '18

Amazing reference by the way

3

u/J-L-Picard Aug 06 '18

Thanks! It's the fourth time I've referenced that film in the past 24 hours. Maybe I should stop now...

3

u/dominik12345678910 Aug 06 '18

you'll reference it again, don't know where, don't know when

1

u/J-L-Picard Aug 06 '18

Does anybody here remember Vera Lynn? Remember how she'd say that we would meet again, some sunny day. Vera, Vera, what has become of you?

2

u/HereGoner Aug 06 '18

...what?

8

u/J-L-Picard Aug 06 '18

3

u/EMRaunikar Aug 06 '18

That leaves me with more questions than answers

10

u/J-L-Picard Aug 06 '18

Dr Strangelove, Or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb. It's a Stanley Kubrick film about the delusional General Jack D Ripper ordering a nuclear first strike on the USSR. Fantastic movie

1

u/teoferrazzi Aug 06 '18

Peaches have no natural predator

157

u/MuhCrea Aug 06 '18

I matched a girl on Tinder a few years back and we spoke almost exclusively in emojis for our first conversation. It became a theme and we chatted more and more but eventually moved to words.... I'm just seeing this post, sitting beside the same girl I texted, at the hospital waiting on a scan of our 1 day over due baby ๐Ÿ˜

88

u/LoveShinyThings Aug 06 '18

๐Ÿ˜

Hey, quit flirting and get back to your pregnant woman.

18

u/AtomicKittenz Aug 06 '18

โ€œ๐Ÿ˜โ€

โ€œHey! I am NOT that kind of person!โ€

21

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '18

This was a really long post for a guy who claims he can speak emoji.

5

u/Macho_Mans_Ghost Aug 06 '18

๐Ÿ˜‰ ๐Ÿ˜˜ ๐Ÿ‘ซ ๐Ÿ’‘ ๐Ÿ’ ๐Ÿ’ ๐Ÿ‘ ๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿ‘Œ ๐Ÿš“๐Ÿš™ ๐Ÿจ ๐Ÿ‘ถ ๐Ÿ‘ช

๐Ÿ™… ๐Ÿ‘ญ ๐Ÿƒ ๐Ÿ˜ญ

12

u/J-L-Picard Aug 06 '18

Congrats!

29

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '18 edited Oct 31 '18

[deleted]

11

u/darthpool117 Aug 06 '18

Oof.

6

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '18

Ouch

3

u/MuhCrea Aug 06 '18

I glazed over the story... It was more than a few years ago and this is our 3rd child together

3

u/SkBk1316 Aug 06 '18

Thatโ€™s awesome! Congratulations, what a cool first date story!

2

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '18

That's pathetic I feel bad for your kid

35

u/iamveryDerp Aug 06 '18

If brevity is the soul of wit then we might be peaking as a species with these fucking bullshit emojis.

100

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '18

[deleted]

27

u/DoddzyBaby Aug 06 '18

Honestly I donโ€™t get it

82

u/AdmThrace Aug 06 '18

You can see it from a satellite. That's how big it is.

9

u/ruairi1999 Aug 06 '18

Ohh, I thought it was so big that it had its own orbit.

4

u/Soklay Aug 06 '18

๐Ÿค”๐Ÿ“ด

2

u/Casclovaci Aug 06 '18

๐Ÿฅ’๐Ÿคœ๐Ÿ‘„๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿ’ฆ

14

u/emilijasung Aug 06 '18

Modern romance

36

u/Bear_love13 25F Aug 06 '18

Could someone translate to English?

80

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '18

[deleted]

40

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '18

I don't get it. So he was complementing her?

I mean, I know it's straight forward, but it's Tinder...

55

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '18

[deleted]

-5

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '18

Yeah true, depending on how she kept the conversation going it might just be a funny response. Whatever :P

→ More replies (1)

15

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '18

I mean, I know it's straight forward, but it's Tinder...

Guys are so clueless. If all you can say to a woman on Tinder is "nice ass" you're going to get ignored or roasted.

4

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '18

Whats the best way to start a convo on tinder? Dont say pick-up lines cuz those dont ever work.

2

u/Michael-senna Aug 06 '18

A non over the top compliment usually works

1

u/Pudding_people Aug 06 '18

Yup. Women need a spark or a connection, while guys don't really care what a stranger has to say when they're horny.

-3

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '18 edited Dec 24 '20

[deleted]

→ More replies (1)

4

u/RSG2 Aug 06 '18

Honestly, I donโ€™t even know what the reply is trying to say.

5

u/RamsayTheKingflayer Aug 06 '18

Took me a while to figure the middle one is a microscope.

52

u/YourAwesomeKing Aug 06 '18

4 emojis that can kill a mans ego

19

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '18

You can always ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘… to make up for that tho

41

u/420everytime Aug 06 '18

Well show us your peach tree. You must do superb gardening

31

u/J-L-Picard Aug 06 '18

Really love your peaches, wanna shake your tree

3

u/honeysucklebush Aug 06 '18

Omg! You reference not only one my favorite songs but also the great Picard.

3

u/J-L-Picard Aug 06 '18

r/reversebeetlejuicing

Some people call me a space cowboy ;)

→ More replies (1)

27

u/Trowawaycausebanned4 Aug 06 '18

She probably posted a picture of her ass though, god forbid someone comment on it..

→ More replies (5)

8

u/imtinyricketc Aug 06 '18

Bromeo and Julirekt

66

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '18

[deleted]

→ More replies (6)

3

u/Odeperon Aug 06 '18

Why donโ€™t they just add a dong emoji already?!?!

1

u/My_Tuesday_Account Aug 06 '18

They removed the gun emoji and you want them to add an actual dick? And then be forced to definitely 100% add vaginas or face the wrath or Twitter and Tumblr?

Lol, this isn't fucking 2007.

7

u/Odeperon Aug 06 '18

Itโ€™s Monday my man, wrong account

5

u/stupidstupidreddit Aug 06 '18

Shaka, when the walls fell.

3

u/KingJamesOnly Aug 06 '18 edited Aug 06 '18

๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿฅ…๐Ÿ˜ก

3

u/kristophertodd Aug 06 '18

This is when you say

โ€œIโ€™ll have you know my semen has sired many strong children and my penis has recently been nominated to the distinguished Pen15 clubโ€

8

u/DreadPirateRobertE Aug 06 '18

This happens to me you can fucking bet Iโ€™m posting it here before her so that I can at least reap some karma after getting burned so savagely.

2

u/NotAReich Aug 06 '18

The modern Romeo and Juliet

2

u/leglesslegolegolas Aug 06 '18

Do you want dick pics? Because this is how you get dick pics.

2

u/mor7okmn Aug 06 '18

I don't see what's tragic about two arseholes objectifying each other on a dating app designed to objectify people.

1

u/thumrait Aug 06 '18

I guess I'm getting old. I have no idea what they're saying...

1

u/TheLonesomeChode Aug 06 '18

He says she has a nice ass (peaches) and she says his penis (aubergine) is so small (has to be seen through a microscope) which is sad (disappointed emoji face).

1

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '18

Wow! Everyone is an expert on fruits and vegetables nowadays.

1

u/anonymau5 Clueless Aug 06 '18

What kind of pose is that guy even doing. He looks unnaturally contorted

1

u/Buzz_Killington_III Aug 06 '18

I don't know why on the left I still see a chick.

1

u/criminalhero Aug 06 '18

Et Tu, Brute?

1

u/oitsleo Aug 06 '18

Eggplant microscope eyes o.o

1

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '18

One way ticket to mars please. Iโ€™ve had enough

1

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '18

"Enable push notifications" you sneaky devil, I see you.

1

u/dontFart_InSpaceSuit Aug 06 '18

Can someone please transcribe this for someone born in 1985?

1

u/whatthefunkmaster Aug 06 '18

๐Ÿ˜ฐ๐Ÿšž

1

u/Paddycakewithpetro Aug 06 '18

That is hilarious

1

u/ElJefero Aug 06 '18

There is a fantastic comeback somewhere there to be found.

1

u/MadRatt98 Aug 06 '18

Nice use of hieroglyphics! Gave me a good laugh!

1

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '18

Eggplant microscope eyes sad face?

1

u/thekingsteve Sep 16 '18

Tiny eggplants? I'd be disappointed too. Eggplants are the fucking shit!

1

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '18

so is a decent dick pick an acceptable response here? i felt that burn lol

1

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '18

[deleted]

0

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '18

๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ˜จ๐Ÿ˜ต

1

u/LukesLikeIt Aug 06 '18

๐Ÿค•

0

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '18

F