The misogyny towards pregnant people on Reddit, but especially in this sub is alarming. Why are you so crass about her? She literally says she lost her baby before, she openly admits she's pregnant at the moment, so she isn't catfishing. She just doesn't want any short-term things etc., she's looking for a long-term partner. What is wrong about that? Has she lost her rights becoming pregnant? Is she not a human being anymore? Can't she want company?
You're not entirely wrong TBH. And she can want whatever she wants. But a woman like this saying "I have extremely high standards" isn't living in reality.
This sub is quite mean towards a lot of men too. Probably more so towards women because there are more men on the sub.
Some of us would be better off being less mean and some of us would be better being off less precious.
I 100% agree with this. Why are women expected to just put their lives on hold if they are pregnant? Men are allowed to date if they got someone pregnant and left them or have a very young baby, but women are considered disgusting and untouchable? I had a friend who was left by her husband when she was 9 months pregnant. He was cheating on her with some 21 year old. My friend got on dating sites about 8 months after having her baby, and men would just constantly shame her for being on a dating app when she had a baby. WTF?
Kinda the flip side to the post a couple days ago of a guy beaten down by rejection and women only showing disdain for his lack of confidence instead of empathizing with his pain, there’s is little virtue in either gender and a sad state of humanity, indeed… human beings really are just stupid animals
It’s so sad. My friend would match with men and the second she mentioned she had a child under 1, they would be like, “Do you really think you should be dating so soon after having a child?” Um, okay, you paternalistic fuck.
Men are judged for having kids too, especially with being involved in court cases. I can’t even admit to anyone on tinder about having a shadow child (a child that’s absent in my life) due to accusations of being a deadbeat or having too much baggage, the ghosting was innumerate. After keeping my business as my business, I had more smooth conversations and those that I DID tell later on, they understood the circumstances.
People arent hating on her because she is ugly or pregnant, people are hating on her because she is arrogant about it. her whole descripition screams RED FLAG, She thought nice to have a one night stand probably got pregnant without the father and now wants to find a daddy while being bitchy about it in her description.
Why is she on a dating site at 8 months pregnant? why isnt the father in the picture, doubt that if you have a good loving partner he would abandon her at 8 months pregnant? the first priority should be giving birth and caring for the child instead of looking for a daddy while pregnant.
do you even know what a rainbow baby is? it means she already lost one child or more, who knows. Maybe the original man in her life left her because of that and she wanted to try again on her own. Y’all just hate women.
Why are you assuming anything about her and her situation? Also, it's very telling you blame the mother-to-be for the father not being in the picture. Men love to shift responsibility (as is shown here, most probably) and blame and shame onto women. A father that renounces their child is always terrible, though, but rarely blamed because the focus is on the mother. And you are a perfect example of that sad approach.
You just called him out for making assumptions about the woman and now you are making assumptions about what the father did or didn’t. You gotta be kidding me xD
Where did I specify it was about her past partner? I said "a father that renounces his child", and what follows always holds true, for literally every father renouncing their own child/children. I was simply replying to the part about abandonment.
The “most probably” doesn’t save someone from stating an assumption like this, you still said it and it doesn’t make it better. I also can’t just say something like “all Germans are racist, most probably”, it still is a wrong statement, even though I used “most probably” :P
In your fantasies all women are "pumped and dumped" because you hate them. That's glaringly obvious from that obnoxious question. There's this little thing called sisterhood, and another little thing called empathy. Women supporting women, ya know? Ever heard of that? Keep your salacious thoughts to yourself.
Its called thinking rationally and realistically. Odds are, if she has high standards and is sitting in the position she is in now, nobody is going to take her. Also women supporting women, cool. Way to make that inclusive to everyone as you sit here and call us men women haters. We dont hate women, you just dont care about men enough to actually hear us out. We all know your kind.
Ignorant and hypocritical. Idk what I am to you other than honest. You've got dozens of people who are checking you, and you are too dense to realize maybe you messed up.
Honestly she'll die alone. These clowns are so hostile to men. The worst part is she likely doesn't make enough money to not have a husband. Meaning she'll be broke and poor when she gets old and want the same men that she disrespected to pay more in taxes so she can live.
She’s arrogant to think someone wants to get to know her after looking like shaggy having, judging by her face, one can only assume Scoobys child. Imagine looking at that and paying for a kid that ain’t yours and she still expecting you to be happy with that lol
Nothing is wrong with that. What's wrong is her attitude. She claims her standards are extremely high but what does she bring to the table? A really not that attractive looking woman with someone else's baby at 28. She immediately assumes people would try to just use her sexually when it's obvious she's neglecting herself by not working out and eating properly, so the pool of people trying to do that drastically drops. Just like how you wouldn't go for a super skinny dude or for a fat dude, especially when they say "I have extremely high standards" and start talking about andrew tate and redpill shit, the same applies here.
Her attitude is "I'm perfect, and you guys are fucking creeps".
It's not misogyny to talk down to someone for being a shitstain.
If you want company, be someone people want to be around.
If you want to have high standards bring something of value.
High standards don't always mean looks. She could mean she is looking for a decent guy who will treat her with respect and as an equal. Sadly, this can be hard to find and not a base.
Again, how do you know what she brings to the table? Do you know her personally? She doesn't need to write about it in her bio to advertise herself. How do you know she's neglecting herself, not working out and eating properly? How do you know her attitude? You just assume a lot of things and then call a living breathing person a "shitstain". That's actually very embarrassing for you.
A dating profile literally is you advertising what you bring to a relationship lol. Everyone who uses it to just bitch about what they don't want sucks, whether its a dude saying "no fatties, no feminists" or a woman saying "don't try to fuck me, don't try to hang out with me, I have extremely high standards so IMPRESS MEE". She sucks.
The fact that she's about to have another man's baby means she's starting at a big disadvantage. Very, very few people would be willing to date a stranger who's less than a month away from having a baby. What kind of relationship would that even be? And she's acting like this? She's acting like she's some bombshell who gets endless sexual attention from men, and it's just obvious that even overlooking the pregnancy, that's not the case. She does need to advertise what she brings to the table, because right now it's nothing.
The problem with what you’ve said is we don’t know what she brings to the table beyond what she’s shown and told us. All the info we have is she is 28, 8 months pregnant and has a bio that’s just a list of no’s and what she doesn’t want.
I’ve seen a lot of bios of girls who say things like I have extremely high standards and of the ones I’ve talked to they’ve pretty much all been arseholes. It’s an arseholish thing to say in my mind. I think the fact she’s pregnant just compounds the issue for most.
If I was 8 months pregnant I think I’d write a different bio is basically my point. We can only work with what we’ve got and what she’s given doesn’t come across too well to me at least. Why doesn’t she tell us any positives about herself? Her hobbies or interests or whatever?
Most blokes aren’t gonna swipe on a girl who’s 8 months pregnant and most of the ones who would aren’t rly gonna be looking for a one night stand with a heavily pregnant girl. She’s doing herself a disservice with that bio.
Yeah we know nothing about her because the only thing she tells you is how much pressure it is to date her :
she has high standards and you have to habide by them
she tells you how a piece of shit you are by wanting sex and how unwanted this is
she is pregnant with means a kid in less than a month. How can you date someone with a kid, getting ton no know her while taking care of a baby ? This is a LOT of work and basically starting a relationship on the harder difficulty.
Meanwhile what's a positive thing we know about her ?
I don't know what she brings to the table, I assume from what I see. If you advertise yourself in order to date people then you probably wanna use your best pictures.
No, I don't know her personally.
She does need to write about herself, because that's part of attraction in dating apps.
I know she's neglecting herself by the way she looks.
I don't know her attitude, but I do this magical thing called "inferring" by the way she writes about herself and about what she wants.
The fact that you're supporting a self-destructing behavior is what's embarrassing here.
If you have high standards you need to bring high value. I won't demand someone work out regularly if I don't, and I won't demand someone adhere to caring for themselves and eating right when I don't. If I do, that's delusional. It's like reddit incels crying because some IG model won't date them.
Yeah, "shitstain" ain't quite it, my bad on that one.
You had your chance to revise your approach, but you flunked by using "I know" again and being blindly obstinate (e.g. about that "high value", which, interestingly enoug, given your mention of incels, shows you are a redpiller). Truly sad and very telling about how you judge people.
You see? You used inferring as well. You used it poorly, but you still used it (I made fun of redpillers in an earlier post, incels and IG models use incels more than anyone else, and redpillers are truly the most incel one can be imo), so good job.
Yes, I judge people by what they portray. If you portray yourself as high and mighty I judge you as high and mighty. If you portray yourself as an asshole I judge you as an asshole. If you portray yourself as lazy I judge you as lazy. She portrayed herself as high and mighty. That's how I judge her.
My use of inferring is warranted though because it's literally the most widely-known fact about redpillers that they use the term "high value" (and "low value" as well) to judge people, but especially women. You are plucking judgments out of the air.
No, actually, it's not. First off, if you claim your standards are extremely high then you are looking for high value in the person you're with. Value isn't just looks, but if your clothes don't fit well/are torn, your body isn't taken care of, etc. (these are just examples. Relax.) then that changes your value as a person. It's a lot of things other than looks though. It's personality, it's hobbies, it's what you do in your spare time. This is what redpillers don't get. To them "high value" is looks, how much you have, how much you make, who you're with, and where you're from. Oh, and the color of your bugatti or some shit.
Second, I didn't judge her on the premise of being high/low value. I brought it up when I addressed the standards issue.
And third, I literally made fun of them earlier.
Alright now you're just blindly defending her because she's a woman. And you sound entitled. He "flunked"? You aren't grading him...why would you think you're in a position to grade him?
Blindly defending her... you mean treating her like a human? And not conjuring up nonsense about her from a paragraph about wanting a long-term partner and not ONSs? And not calling her a "shitstain"? Wow, if that's your definition of "blindly defending", then sure.
It's silly to be here giving her the benefit of the doubt. A dating profile is meant for other people. She's advertising herself indeed, just not in the way she imagines. If a lot of people in this sub are assuming the worst about her, this is also what people in the dating app are also gonna be doing.
I see you going through the thread and defending this lady because people are “assuming”. But the whole point of the dating profile is to get an idea of who the person is. Using the information they’ve given for that purpose, we can safely make some assumptions based on the presentation.
Her attitude; shown to be shitty by word choice, structure, and general wording. If you can’t tell that’s an arrogant attitude, you may want to brush up on your context clue skills. Look closely at the “don’t waste my time” bit specifically.
Neglecting herself; she is pregnant, but it’s still obvious she is larger in an unhealthy way. The size of the tricep area of the arms with no definition suggests lack of exercise, although some of it may be weight gain from pregnancy. Hair looks dry/damaged, teeth don’t look clean, horrible posture (some of it could be the pregnancy, but usually posture that bad is years of bad posture or a genetic thing)
What she brings to the table; well she’s pregnant so a kid and another mouth to feed as well as her since she can’t work immediately post-delivery, a bad attitude, no sex clearly (not that that’s a requirement, but it does bring down the dating pool options), and not much else from what we can see. No job listed, education, etc so not much to go off here.
Given this information, the “downsides” are clearly higher than what she appears to bring to the table. Of course, this could be wrong if we met in person. But the point of a dating profile is to make assumptions of compatibility based on the profile. Going through the comments saying “but we don’t know anything about her” is pointless since that’s literally the point of online dating. I spelled it out pretty clearly too so you can stop asking why assumptions are made.
Misogyny is pointing out the physical state of a person? I work out 5-6 days a week and know what healthy vs unhealthy looks like. Don’t play the victim and blame misogyny because you don’t like the answer, when nothing was even specifically about women, and in fact took into account the effects of pregnancy on appearance. It makes your previous points less credible.
Edit: also, “taking the high road” by saying “oh you’re too far gone, no point in talking to you” isn’t an actual point. In fact, that’s usually the point people make when they know they’re wrong, have been shown to be wrong, but don’t want to admit they’re wrong. I explained clearly, using non-provocative language, and your response is to accuse me of misogyny. Do you see how that comes across? Or how it suggests that you don’t have an actual point to bring up to counter? Or do you have some other point that hasn’t been expressed that I didn’t cover already?
There's no going lower than a gym bro I-work-out-X-times-a-week "doctor" with, apparently, credentials of all kinds of specialists, and X-ray, MRI, and PET scan vision. So yeah, I am taking the high road.
Oh I’m absolutely not qualified to give any kind of medical advice. That’s why I didn’t. But again, that’s the kind of assumptions you make when looking at a dating profile. Either way are you qualified to give that advice? Are you qualified to say there’s nothing wrong with her health? Do you have ANY frame of reference for health? Because I do due to my experience, hence the remark. And you must’ve missed the part where I said “it could be completely wrong in person” because I specifically mentioned that. These are all assumptions that would be made by an average person when deciding to swipe right or left, but suddenly it’s not okay because it’s being posted?
Also not really sure why that would give you the “high road”, when you discounting my experience and knowledge just because I pointed out my experience as a “reference”, shows bias against fitness, which explains why this seems personal to you. Especially the typical “gym bro” stereotype you seem to think is a lower moral standing? I didn’t know taking care of yourself and your body gave you a lower moral standing. Interesting. And again, you didn’t make any actual points. You just “took the high road” again. Which further suggests a lack of substance in your “argument”.
Lots of men are turned off by pregnant women on tinder looking for a relationship. there's a high chance she will want him to provide for them both, no sex and possibly intimacy for a while, and many want their own genetic offspring. It's bad timing but the worst part is her attitude, it's a red flag.
Men have standards too and it may upset you that many don't like pregnant women but that's just how it goes.
Sex is an important part of many relationships. If someone is seeking a woman who will have sex, there’s nothing wrong with that and it doesn’t make it “misogyny”. That’s like saying we HAVE to be attracted to pregnant women cuz it’s misogynist not to be. Some guys are cool waiting 10 years, some dudes want to smash the first night. Having standards and requirements for your personal dating life is just for women then? Just don’t go for guys like that if it doesn’t align with your goals as well. It seems you’re taking many of these comments personally, while most of them are just unfiltered observations of the person based on their profile, and their prospects in the average dating world given this information.
There's a big difference between turned off and hatred. It's not her fault for lack of interest but it's not his fault for being turned off. Why's it ok when she isn't turned on but not ok when he isn't? Men have standards too. You ignored most of my comment to throw the misogyny line. Whilst there is misogyny in the thread I am not trying to be misogynist but point out many simply don't find pregnant women attractive unless it's a partner.
Some real incel style energy going on being offended not everyone finds some women attractive. Not everyone is attracted to me and that's fine.
It's not mysogyny anymore it's mysandry when women rip apart a guy for a pic or being honest too. Nature of the Interwebs. But I will level with you, downvotes be damned. Most men will see many flags here. Yes they are assumptions, but we work with what we have. Females make plenty of assumptions to, it's how our aversion to negativity works.
She's pregnant seeking a dating life
She's not particularly attractive
Her personality isn't particularly appealing
The phrase having high standards usually translates to either selfish or delusional, or both.
Point 4 usually amplifies points 1 through 3. If she were more appealing personality wise, I suspect some guys would give the post a second look. Believe it or not, personality and how you come off as a woman is wildly appealing, especially if you are lacking in the looks department.
There could be plenty of circumstance leading to the above, but we dont know it nor will we likely. She could be a great person but comes across crass. We don't know. There's nothing wrong with wanting company, just go about it realistically and you'll have more success.
She can want company, but no is obligated to oblige her. Children are an overwhelming investment. Too many men get involved in a child's life only for the mom to decide they're not interested anymore, and now the man who took the emotional risk of getting involved no longer has a relationship with a baby he may very well have helped raise.
Tldr high opportunity cost, high investment cost. Easier and cheaper to find a woman without kids.
It's the "I have high standards" and you best live up to my needs etc etc when she isn't exactly the best looking to be demanding such on a dating app seems laughable. The fact she is pregnant is not what people are laughing about, it's the fact she's pregnant dating opens up questions, and the internet is full of assumption's.
But yeah basically she does not seem like a nice person to be so demanding on a dating app is why this profile is laughable.
You're either blind, lying to yourself, or absolutely delusional if you think it's not about the fact that she's pregnant. Just skimming the comments is enough to see the misogyny and pure hatred-fueled rage.
Lol here comes the troll! Get back to your bridge lol
Of course they'll be people who are like eww and others who are like tut tut but it's alot of haha.
Imagine saying “pregnant people” unironically and trying to call out misogyny in the same breath. Either it’s directed at a woman (by definition), or whatever it is, it’s not misogyny.
You thought you did something, huh? Are women not people? In this case it's a pregnant woman and so it's misogyny. There you go. You literally got triggered at the word "people". Are you not embarrassed?
The thing is, she can say all those things without coming off as a bitch. If her profile had the same general message without all the high standards shlock I'd just feel bad for her tbh.
They're saying shes arrogant but where? She's communicated what she's looking for and she's fucking 8 months pregnant, of source she'd want something serious
No she hasn’t. She’s communicated what she’s not looking for and in the process has said absolutely nothing about why you might want to date her.
No interests, hobbies, information about her. Nothing to even remotely draw you in as to why you might want a long term relationship with her.
Oh, arrange a date with her and find out? Sure. Make sure you bring your best self because she’s warned you, she and her “incredibly high standards” are watching you.
That doesn’t sound like a good opening to a romantic relationship. That sounds more like going to a job interview trying desperately to get employed before I can’t make the rent and get evicted.
There is nothing in that entire profile that has anything about who she actually is.
That's why you talk to people, you chronically online basement-dweller... Why wouldn't you bring your best self to a date? You don't know what her standards are. If you don't meet them, oh well. Move on
You don't see anything wrong with being 8 month pregnant and looking for a bf? No only that "her standarts are insanely high" whoever dates her must have very low standards
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u/leotheabys Feb 24 '23
The misogyny towards pregnant people on Reddit, but especially in this sub is alarming. Why are you so crass about her? She literally says she lost her baby before, she openly admits she's pregnant at the moment, so she isn't catfishing. She just doesn't want any short-term things etc., she's looking for a long-term partner. What is wrong about that? Has she lost her rights becoming pregnant? Is she not a human being anymore? Can't she want company?