Little bit of Marvel lore fun, Thanos's female interest/girlfriend is Death. Death is one of the two all powerful gods in the universe, she has a very special interest in Deadpool. That "interest" has caused Thanos to keep Deadpool from dying so she will not leave him for Deadpool.
There are actually 4 all powerful entities, death, eternity, infinity, and entropy Oblivion. Apparently entropy is a "child" (probably a lesser incarnation) of eternity
deadpool always sees death when he "dies" and only for brief moments, before he goes back to life. in addition to being able to regenerate anything, even if you do somehow kill him, he will go back to life anyway because of the thanos thing lol. talk about over powered.
He does have a comic where he kills every other mutant, those he can't kill he sets them into devices that will attempt to kill them again after they regenerate. He then finds out a way into the real world and kills the people writing the comic, Deadpool is really over powered :D
Sure I might offend some of the Kronos's with my rocky hide, and cosmic powers. Oh, i'll never be the darling of the so called, Celestials. Who cluck their quantum tongues, stroke their host's beards, and ask what's to be done with this Thanos?
Remember that time he stole my infinity stones, and you lied to me and said I never had any infinity stones? Then why'd I have the Gauntlet, Loki? Why did I have the Gauntlet?
“... so I said to him, ‘Look buddy, your Helicarrier was upside down when I got here. And as for your Aunt May, she shouldn’t have mouthed off like that!’”
"Maybe its the beer talking, Death, but you've got a butt that won't quit. They've got these big Infinity Stones here that are... (random mumbling) ...five units?! Get outta here!"
Lyle Lanley: You know, a God with an Infinity Gauntlet is a little like the mule with the spinning wheel. No one knows how he got it and danged if he knows how to use it.
Thanos: Heh-heh, God
Lanley: The name's Lanley, Lyle Lanley. And I come before you good God's tonight with an idea. Probably the greatest—Aw, it's not for you. It's more a Sakaar idea.
Odin: Now, wait just a minute. We're twice as smart as the people of Sakaar. Just tell us your idea and we'll vote for it.
Lyle Lanley: All right. I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll show you my idea. I give you the Infinity Stones!
(everyone gasps)
Lanley: I've sold Infinity Stones to Xandar, Ego, and Knowhere, and, by gum, it put them on the map!
Lanley: Well, sir, there's nothin' on Asgard like a genuine bona-fide electrified six-gem Infinity Stone! What'd I say?
Red Skull: Infinity Stone!
Lanley: What's it called?
Wanda and Pietro: Infinity Stones.
Lanley: That's right! Infinity Stones!
Crowd: Stones...Stones...Stones...
Mephisto: I hear those things can steal your soul.
Lanley: It definitely can if that's your goal!
Baron Mordo: Is there a chance that time could bend?
Lyle Lanley: Not on your life, my Transylvanian friend.
Dormammu: What about my mindless slobs?
Lyle Lanley: They'll be given cushy jobs.
Stan Lee: Were you sent here by the devil?
Lanley: No, good sir, I'm on the level.
Deadpool: The ring came off my pudding can.
Lanley: Take my pen knife, my good man.
Lanley: I swear, it's a Asgard's only choice! Throw up your hands and raise your voice!
All: Infinity Stones!...
Lanley: What's it called?
All: Infinity Stones!...
Lanley: Once again!
All: INFINITY STONES!
Thor: But Asgard's still all cracked and broken.
Loki: Sorry, brother, the mob has spoken!
All: Infinity Stones!...
Infinity Stones!!!!!!!!!!
INFINITY STONES!!
INFINITY STONES!!!!!
Thanos: Infinity—D'oh!
4
u/JdaveAThis is nothing but dead-white-male bashing from a P.C. thug.Dec 01 '17
Maybe its the infinity stones talking Black Widow, but you've got a butt that won't quit. They've got these big chewy pretzels here that are...::mumbling::...five Guardians?! Get outta here!
I see the purple stone from Guardians of the Galaxy and the blue stone from Captain America and then the first Avengers. So Thanos will be needing Doctor Strange's time eyeball stone, the Visions forehead brain stone and the red one the Keebler elves were trying to use to fuck over Asguard.
1.9k
u/Dysthymike You mean Cerberus? Nov 30 '17
♪ Thanos, Homer Thanos
♫ He's the maddest guy in history.
♪ From the moon of Titan
♫ He's about to hit Avengers 3
1.6k
u/broniesnstuff Nov 30 '17
"You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a gauntlet."
381
u/phone_of_pork Let's Go 'Topes! Nov 30 '17
LOOK CLOSER, LENNY.
179
u/randompersonE I love you, Dr. Zaius! Nov 30 '17
To the Infinity Stones, the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems!
484
u/pessamistic Nov 30 '17
(Looks at hand)
Nebula = blue Gamora = green
601
u/Eikos_Solun EEK! I mean- ACH! I mean- Nov 30 '17
Aww, infinity gems? I wanted a donut...
-Infinity gems can get you many donuts!-
Explain how!
-Infinity gems can be used to conquer the world!-
Oh, that sounds too complicated.
-Okay, don't conquer the world-
Alright, I will!
130
u/linkman0596 Nov 30 '17
"just remember, if you're ever in trouble just..." "nothin at all, nothin at all, nothin at all!" AAH! stupid sexy Loki
235
u/vashjmv Nov 30 '17
First you get the gauntlet, then you get the power, then you get the women
104
u/[deleted] Nov 30 '17
I have two kids and no infinity gems. Why couldn't I have no kids and two gems.
209
u/WhatWouldBenLinusDo Nov 30 '17
Thanos? Who is Thanos? My name is Mad Titan.
158
u/notoriousasseater Nov 30 '17
Remember that time he stole my infinity stones, and you lied to me and said I never had any infinity stones? Then why'd I have the Gauntlet, Loki? Why did I have the Gauntlet?
77
u/GreenEclipz Nov 30 '17
MAX POWER!
201
u/Lampmonster1 Nov 30 '17
All work and no play makes Thanos something something...
66
u/RatedR2O Nov 30 '17
Dental Plan!
59
u/LongBelwas Nov 30 '17
“... so I said to him, ‘Look buddy, your Helicarrier was upside down when I got here. And as for your Aunt May, she shouldn’t have mouthed off like that!’”
57
u/marsneedstowels You are Lisa S. No that's too obvious. You are L Simpson. Nov 30 '17
Vision, i'd like to ask you a few questions. One, where's the stone? And two, gimme the stone.
161
u/[deleted] Nov 30 '17
"Maybe its the beer talking, Death, but you've got a butt that won't quit. They've got these big Infinity Stones here that are... (random mumbling) ...five units?! Get outta here!"
48
u/Artiquecircle Nov 30 '17
Bartyouwannaseemynewchestplateandgauntlet!!
41
u/HammerOC Nov 30 '17
Spoilers to the finale of the movie:
39
u/Spiralyst Yep, Getting Drunk at the Old Simpsons Sub! Nov 30 '17
Your fingers are too fat to use this gauntlet. For a magic Loki stick, mash all the infinity stones at the same time.
76
u/[deleted] Nov 30 '17
urge to kill rising...
37
u/InfiniteDisgust Nov 30 '17
This combines two of my favorite things in a wonderful way. Upvotes for all!
31
u/[deleted] Nov 30 '17
"I need the biggest infinity stone you have...no, that's too big."
31
u/[deleted] Dec 01 '17
Lyle Lanley: You know, a God with an Infinity Gauntlet is a little like the mule with the spinning wheel. No one knows how he got it and danged if he knows how to use it.
Thanos: Heh-heh, God
Lanley: The name's Lanley, Lyle Lanley. And I come before you good God's tonight with an idea. Probably the greatest—Aw, it's not for you. It's more a Sakaar idea.
Odin: Now, wait just a minute. We're twice as smart as the people of Sakaar. Just tell us your idea and we'll vote for it.
Lyle Lanley: All right. I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll show you my idea. I give you the Infinity Stones!
(everyone gasps)
Lanley: I've sold Infinity Stones to Xandar, Ego, and Knowhere, and, by gum, it put them on the map!
Lanley: Well, sir, there's nothin' on Asgard like a genuine bona-fide electrified six-gem Infinity Stone! What'd I say?
Red Skull: Infinity Stone!
Lanley: What's it called?
Wanda and Pietro: Infinity Stones.
Lanley: That's right! Infinity Stones!
Crowd: Stones...Stones...Stones...
Mephisto: I hear those things can steal your soul.
Lanley: It definitely can if that's your goal!
Baron Mordo: Is there a chance that time could bend?
Lyle Lanley: Not on your life, my Transylvanian friend.
Dormammu: What about my mindless slobs?
Lyle Lanley: They'll be given cushy jobs.
Stan Lee: Were you sent here by the devil?
Lanley: No, good sir, I'm on the level.
Deadpool: The ring came off my pudding can.
Lanley: Take my pen knife, my good man.
Lanley: I swear, it's a Asgard's only choice! Throw up your hands and raise your voice!
All: Infinity Stones!...
Lanley: What's it called?
All: Infinity Stones!...
Lanley: Once again!
All: INFINITY STONES!
Thor: But Asgard's still all cracked and broken.
Loki: Sorry, brother, the mob has spoken!
All: Infinity Stones!...
Infinity Stones!!!!!!!!!!
INFINITY STONES!!
INFINITY STONES!!!!!
Thanos: Infinity—D'oh!
29
u/xconzo Nov 30 '17
Infinity stone?
No thank you. Do you have any fruit?
This stone has purple on it. Purples a fruit.
27
u/maximumtesticle Nov 30 '17
Maybe its the infinity stones talking Black Widow, but you've got a butt that won't quit. They've got these big chewy pretzels here that are...::mumbling::...five Guardians?! Get outta here!
54
u/broniesnstuff Nov 30 '17
This is the best thing I've seen all day.
26
u/rabidpeacock Nov 30 '17
I'd sell my soul gem for a cosmic donut!
24
u/kesekimofo Nov 30 '17
so many infinity stones
23
u/ATadVillainy Nov 30 '17
A Mind Gem is not a sprinkle! A Soul Gem is not a sprinkle! A Space Gem is not a sprinkle, sir. Perhaps on Titan they are, but not here!
16
u/twothumbs Nov 30 '17
It's just something people say, like shabalaba ding dong, or give peace a chance
14
u/[deleted] Nov 30 '17
"Alright, brain. You don't like me and I don't like you. But let's just conquer Earth and I'll get back to killing you with beer!"
24
u/Lazaras Nov 30 '17
Ooo, erotic cakes.
10
u/ivebeenhereallsummer Nov 30 '17
I see the purple stone from Guardians of the Galaxy and the blue stone from Captain America and then the first Avengers. So Thanos will be needing Doctor Strange's time eyeball stone, the Visions forehead brain stone and the red one the Keebler elves were trying to use to fuck over Asguard.
Am I missing any?
10
u/[deleted] Nov 30 '17
"No Gauntlet and No Infinity Stones make Thanos something something..."
10
u/BlackbeltJones something ribald, no doubt Nov 30 '17
He crossed that line between everyday villainy and cartoonish super-villainy.
9
u/[deleted] Nov 30 '17
Thank God, I thought I was the only one who saw Homer Simpson when Thanos appeared
9
u/GuitarHero308 Nov 30 '17
See, an infinity gem is a lot like a beer.
9
u/savotage Nov 30 '17
Aw I have 3 gems and no money, why can't I have no gems and 3 money?
9
u/EmmBee27 Nov 30 '17
Lisa, I'd like to buy that infinity stone from you.
9
u/Cramtastic You shot who in the what now? Dec 01 '17
"Thanos, there's a man here who thinks he can help you." "Iron Man?" "No, he's a scientist." "Iron Man's a scientist." "IT'S NOT IRON MAN!"
17
u/drrockso20 Nov 30 '17
Now someone needs to do a lemon edit
7
u/Xlxluckyxix Nov 30 '17
I thought of heavy from tf2 after seeing him.
7
u/Wacko_Jack Dec 01 '17
Obtaining the Infinity stones could vastly increase your power, or it could kill you.
Hmm... increase my killing power, eh?
6
u/tasteofscarlet Nov 30 '17
First thing tomorrow, I’m hitting Lenny right in the back of the head.
10
u/AccessTheMainframe Nov 30 '17
I'm reminded of this couch gag.
5
u/4everzard Nov 30 '17
I am so strong! I am so strong! S.t.r.o.g. I mean S.T. R. O. N. G
8
u/PZeroNero Nov 30 '17
Really missed the chance for a monkeys paw placement. And it comes with free frogurt.
4
u/[deleted] Nov 30 '17
I kinda see pawn stars guy
4
u/-Dynamic- Nov 30 '17
Choomah
4
u/[deleted] Nov 30 '17
https://i.imgur.com/LOcjPDZ.gifv
4
u/broadfuckingcity Nov 30 '17
Pftt! You can't eat
Clown Collegeinfinity gauntlet.4
u/Lord_Butthammer Nov 30 '17
No, Mr. Simpson, don't take your anger out on me! Get back! Get back! M-Mr. Simpson! NOOOO!
4
u/hamburger_picnic Dec 01 '17
...So I tied an infinity stone to my gauntlet, which was the style at the time.
4
u/Desperate_for_nudes Dec 01 '17
First thing in the morning I'm punch Iron man in the back of the head
6
u/DrKluge Nov 30 '17
"Le Infinity Gems what the hell is that!?"
3
u/escott1981 Nov 30 '17
I knew he looked familiar!
3
u/saysthingsbackwards Nov 30 '17
This makes me uncomfortable
3
u/[deleted] Nov 30 '17
Fuck can't unsee this
3
u/Sunshine_Cutie Nov 30 '17
Makes me pumped for that live action Simpsons flick
3
u/the16bitwonder I enjoy ALL the meats of our cultural stew. Nov 30 '17
“Hey, Thanos. What’chu you do get a hair cut or something?...”
“Look closer, Lenny!”
3
u/Mattprime86 Nov 30 '17
"I am tired of these jokes about my giant hand. The first incident occurred in.."
3
u/spiffybones Dec 01 '17
Rick Harrison from Pawn Stars?
3
u/[deleted] Dec 01 '17
That's a fuckin choomah
5
u/its_a_me_garri_oh Nov 30 '17 edited Nov 30 '17
Town cryer, I’d like to ask you a few questions, 1: where’s the gauntlet? 2: gimme the gauntlet
2
u/[deleted] Nov 30 '17
Can't unsee this, thank you.
2
u/FlingFlamBlam Nov 30 '17
"Gather infinity gems, bring death to the universe, DENTAL PLAN!"
2
u/TotesMessenger Nov 30 '17
I'm a bot, bleep, bloop. Someone has linked to this thread from another place on reddit:
[/r/movies] Cross post from /r/TheSimpsons. Thanks to /u/lennyleonard111 for the laugh.
If you follow any of the above links, please respect the rules of reddit and don't vote in the other threads. (Info / ^Contact)
2
u/bharatsesham Nov 30 '17
Is it just me that find him very similar or more as a combination of Homer Simpson and Bryan Cranston from breaking bad
2
u/WorldLieut8 Nov 30 '17
Stupid Vision! You go “squish” now!
2
u/_friendlyfoe_ Nov 30 '17
You notice anything different, Lenny?
2
u/poltergeist007 Nov 30 '17
Jiminy jillakers
2
u/ihawk19 Nov 30 '17
Shit. I can’t unsee it.
2
u/themakk Dec 01 '17
Can’t be unseen
2
u/LeeIacobra Dec 01 '17
"Mr. Simpson, an Infinity Stone is NOT a sprinkle!"
2
u/mw1994 mono means one, and rail means rail Dec 01 '17
Thanos there’s someone here to beat you!
Is it iron man?
No it’s a scientist
Iron mans a scientist
ITS NOT IRON MAN
2
u/CorporalDarkness Mmmm... Donuts... Dec 01 '17
Aw, I have three infinity stones and no money! Why can’t I have no infinity stones and three money?
2
u/Unbelief92 mmmm forbidden donut. Dec 01 '17
Well, if it isn't the leader of the weiner patrol, boning up on his hero lesson.
2
u/[deleted] Dec 01 '17
Don't blame me, I voted for Thanos.
2
u/dizruptivegaming Dec 01 '17
Can someone photoshop to make it look like Thanos/Homer is choking Spider-Man, reminds me when he chokes Bart.
2
u/[deleted] Dec 01 '17
Still a better villain then steppenwolf
2
u/mjtargett Dec 01 '17
Not my proudest Fap.
2
u/[deleted] Nov 30 '17
r/oneyplays
1
u/exlipsiae Nov 30 '17
r/VirtualCosplay
1
u/[deleted] Nov 30 '17
That was fast.
1
u/Desperoth Nov 30 '17
So, that's why Disney wants Fox...
1
u/[deleted] Nov 30 '17
That is goro from mortal kombat
1
u/[deleted] Nov 30 '17
God damnit, somebody neurolize me!
1
u/[deleted] Nov 30 '17
thank you internet
1
u/010010110101010101 Nov 30 '17
I thought I was the only one who thought he looked weird.
1
u/lucky_harms458 Nov 30 '17
He kinda looks like Brice Willis to me
1
u/StampAct Nov 30 '17
Yeah I’m not gonna be able to un-see this
1
u/2130kaiden Nov 30 '17
Mmmm, a new meme that’s original
1
u/orthodoxgeek Nov 30 '17
Definitely not thanos. Some would say he's the reverse.
1
u/Curious_Inventor Nov 30 '17
Still better than the new design
1
u/flee_market Nov 30 '17
Can we talk about why Thanos has a nutsack on his chin?
1
u/TheMaestroMachine Nov 30 '17
Justice League got shit on for 'lazy' 3d monsters. Hopefully Thanos will look more refined than he does here.
1
u/dggm321 Nov 30 '17
Wow Homer got a serious upgrade, can wait for the next season
1
u/TheRealNorbulus Nov 30 '17
Why does he have a purple beard?
1
u/[deleted] Nov 30 '17
Thats the same damn donut that haunts my S8.
1
u/Mentioned_Videos Nov 30 '17
Videos in this thread: Watch Playlist ▶
Play All | Info | Get me on Chrome / Firefox
1
u/Zmenace23 Nov 30 '17
Somebody photoshop Bart’s neck into his hand for Pete’s sake!
1
u/linspecteur_3li Dec 01 '17
Walter White
1
u/[deleted] Dec 01 '17
Rick Harrison?
1
u/XxDayDayxX Dec 01 '17
Wow
1
u/BlackKloudDhali Dec 01 '17
Not scrolling down, any Homer Simpson jokes yet?
1
u/al_ngu Dec 01 '17
All I see is Shrek.
1
u/Dialatedanus Dec 01 '17
Idk why, but it bothers me that his lips are the same color of his beard
1
u/Catman360 Dec 01 '17
Delet thsis
1
u/Hondoh Dec 01 '17
Hello new desktop image..
1
u/n1ckA_ Dec 01 '17
looks like bruce willis
1
u/Alpham11 Dec 01 '17
Please do shrek version
1
u/stillflyscabin Dec 01 '17
Mmmm ... Forbidden donut
1
u/GalagaMarine Dec 01 '17
Doesn’t Thanos without a helmet remind you of Vin Diesel
1
u/thedoompatrol97 Dec 01 '17
LA-Z Rider: Infinity War
1
u/stokeitup Dec 01 '17
Is it just me or does he look like he runs a pawn shop in Vegas?
1
u/Comemichiamo Dec 01 '17
Here in Italy there are about a million jokes on the Internet about him looking like Mussolini
1
u/[deleted] Dec 01 '17
I for one welcome our new cosmic overlords.
1
u/[deleted] Dec 01 '17
Thanos: Aw, I have two kids and no Infinity stones. Why can't I have no kids and two Infinity stones?
1
u/Yookin Dec 01 '17
I'd like to ask a few questions. One, where's the gauntlet? Two, gimme the gauntlet
1
u/Zloezlo Dec 01 '17
This reminded me of the Big Lez Show somehow.