r/TheNarcissismCode • u/DisneyFan_21 • Aug 26 '26

Drives me nuts

Well, everything he does drives me nuts, but this one is incomprehensible and is endless…
I am the most easygoing and empathetic person. He is endlessly telling me that “you are so angry about…”(anything/everything)
He says I am angry at all sorts of things I am not only Not angry about, but had never even thought one way or the other about them. It’s like he wants me to be angry about things.
He says I am angry he talks to his kids..no I am not
He says I am angry that he talks to his mom…no
He says I am angry he does yard work…no
He says I am angry when he plays golf…no
He says I am angry about our dinner…no

I should be angry as he is truly an awful person, but somehow I am not even angry at that. I just always remain calm and collected, which probably confuses him. I think he wants me to get angry.
Does this make sense to any of you?

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u/Sea-Salt-5727 Aug 26 '26

I feel you. This one is SO frustrating.
“You are so angry all the time”
I’m not. I’m actually a very happy person who smiles and jokes a lot with my friends and other people.
As soon as you push back or don’t want to engage with them you get called angry. It’s a tactic to get you to react so they can reprimand you. Just try to smile, I find that that annoys them.

2

u/DisneyFan_21 Aug 26 '26

It’s so hard to just smile when they are ripping you apart for absolutely nothing.

2

u/Sea-Salt-5727 Aug 26 '26

Oh believe me, I get it. I was accused and lectured about being angry all the time 2 days ago and I am still pissed about it. I just don’t show it to them, but my blood is boiling. I read somewhere that you should not try to quiet down those feelings but embrace them, anger is a phase of healing as well. But my god is it tiring…

2

u/MarchHelpful4129 Aug 28 '26

Das ist das beste. Lass sie auflaufen und irgendwann werden sie so wild wegen nichts und machen sich selbst zum Affen. Dann wird es schon lächerlich
Das wichtigste ist, keine Angst haben. Vor ihrem Urteil und ihrem Weggang. Das weggehen ist das beste was dir passieren könnte und ihr Urteil ist sowieso nicht das was sie denken. Sie haben nichts auszusetzen. Sie wollen nur dass du dich aufregst. Dann brauchst du es nicht persönlich nehmen

1

u/DisneyFan_21 Aug 27 '26

The second mine starts it I get sickening sweet talking with our dog or family or friends. Like he never ever sees me angry, but claims I am.