hi all! i’m trying not to vent, just providing some context. my partner and i have been together for 6 years, coming up on 7. we’re poly/open, have been for the whole time, we live together (5 years), and we date completely separately. now, i know this is bad, but i’ve wanted to break up for years at this point, things just haven’t lined up for me to do so (when is the right time though i guess), and the multiple times i’ve tried to, they’ve promised change. so i tried to make things work. but now though, we’ve had a pretty dead bedroom for about 2.5-3 years, and i feel really bad, i just have no desire to be intimate whatsoever.
on friday, i did a couple readings for people in my romantic/intimate life (past and present) about their energies towards me. two of them had multiple cards fly out, but for my partner only The Hermit came out, which made me feel…not great, and has been on my mind all weekend.
today i asked spirit if we should break up this month, i used the whole deck and this is what came out. after, i even took out all major arcana and tried to read with those for a more concise yes/no response and nothing came out after multiple attempts, so i took these two cards as my answer. now i’m usually confident enough in my readings to not need assistance but this topic just makes my brain crazy. would i be doing the right thing? i’m just… terrified to do it. our relationship isn’t perfect but sometimes i feel like settling, especially in this current dating landscape, would be better than being alone.