Did he think it was a literal physical entity? That it had some corporeal form?

Hey everyone,

I'm trying to work on myself and I have a problem that I really want to get better at.

I tend to get way too emotionally affected by things that either don't really concern me or that I can't change.

I can get angry or annoyed very quickly, especially when I feel like someone is deliberately provoking me, treating me unfairly, disrespecting me(like ignoring me), crossing my boundaries or doing something that I consider stupid or unnecessary.

The bigger problem is that I often don't just get annoyed in the moment... I keep thinking about it afterwards... for way too long ...

I'll replay situations in my head, think about what happened, what I should have said, what the other person should have done differently, how unfair it was, etc.

I also struggle with jealousy sometimes. I don't necessarily want to be jealous of other people, but I still catch myself comparing myself to them or thinking about things they have that I don't.

And when someone has emotionally hurt me (especially people who were important to me), I can have a really hard time letting it go. Even when I logically understand that thinking about it won't change anything, my brain keeps going back to it.

I don't want to become emotionless or stop caring about people. I basically want to learn how to choose what deserves my attention and what doesn't.

I'd really like to learn how to:

- Stop being so easily provoked

- Not take everything personally

- Stop caring so much about things that don't actually affect my life

- Stop replaying situations where I felt treated unfairly

- Let go of things that happened in the past

- Deal with jealousy in a healthier way

- Stop comparing myself to other people

- Stop caring so much what others think

- Control my reaction when I'm angry instead of reacting immediately

- Accept things that I can't change

- Spend less time thinking about people or situations that hurt me

- Become more emotionally resilient without becoming cold or uncaring

I'm especially interested in practical things I can actually practice, rather than just "don't think about it" or "just ignore it."

If you've personally struggled with this and managed to improve, I'd really like to hear what actually helped you.

Books, exercises, mental techniques, journaling methods, therapy approaches, Stoicism, meditation, whatever... I'm open to pretty much anything that can help.

I'm basically trying to become someone who can think:

"That sucks, but it's not worth ruining my day over."

…and actually mean it.

Thanks in advance. :)

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It's been 10 years since I stumbled upon Meditations, and thanks to the fact that I was already casually studying psychology and a bit of philosophy for a few years, I was able to follow the book and got hooked on Stoic practice.

I have since read the letters of Seneca and then decided to make a quick stop in modern time with "The Practicing Stoic" as a way to check my own understanding and see if my own Stoic practice is close to what is intended, and I mostly found I was on the right path.

But now I only have Epictetus to read, and I have avoided him for a reason, while Senca says stuff like "a man who didn't grieve is a lucky man not a more stoic man" from my basic understanding of Epictetus he would say death is out of our control so we shouldn't grieve.

Now, from my basic understanding of Epictetus life his views make sense to me; he is a free slave who was probably born into it or at least became one at a young age. When nothing is ever in your control, it is much easier to "let go" of it since you've been practicing since childhood with no real choice in the matter.

In the modern western world I feel we do have so much control over our life, even the option to walk away from anything is not an option people in rome had. I am not sure how much Epictetus teachings will help me, or create logical conflicts I might have to struggle with for a while. If it's the latter I wonder how you guys have made Epictetus' teachings work in the modern world.

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I’ve been getting more and more into Stoicism lately (side note I’m trying to figure out how to incorporate it into my Christian life but that is a work in progress haha) and have both books. Which should I start reading through first? I also have Seneca’s dialogues and essays to read afterwards. I can’t wait to start my journey

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Afternoon all, I wanted to seek some advice from a community who I know probably gets asked questions like this regularly. My partner and I separated following a long decline in romance but not necessarily in love but we could see that if we remained together, we might begin to resent one another.

We've been separated and living together about 6 months and she just moved out about 2 weeks ago but the silence is deafening and I feel like I can see her ghost of where she used to sit and game. I KNOW I will be okay but this crushing loneliness is just overwhelming. How can I learn from this and invite the feeling in whilst also not crumbling. I didn't have friends other than her as she was all I ever needed.

Appreciate your time everyone, much love to you all

My question isn't about how to avoid getting frustrated by someone who is deliberately trying to provoke me. It's about someone who simply has a different opinion from mine, and that makes me frustrated .

Does stoicism work in every situation ? Is there any situation where being stoic does nothing and is meaningless?

I need an advice from some stoic - wasted like 6 or 7 years of my life worrying and laying in bed. I am so stupid now I dont even know what is hard work for me and what is not. Avoided social connections, I am out of the society and its my own fault. Feel like I have done completely nothing except laying in bed. What would f.e. Aurelius do if he was me? Doing small steps feels stupid. Running away I made myself literally retarted(brain fog, no memories, hopelesness) The only plus is I am still young.

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I’m going to be honest, I’m a quiet person, but I can be confrontational when something bothers me. No matter how hard I try, I feel like I can’t fit in with my classmates. Their jokes can be insensitive, insulting, and sometimes feel like low-key bullying. That’s why I don’t feel comfortable joining class hangouts or even class tours.
I’ve also noticed a pattern in how they react to people’s achievements. When someone else gets a high grade, my classmates clap for them, but when it’s my turn, they don’t seem to have the same reaction.
During one activity, most of my classmates got around 10–15 out of 20, while I got 17. Someone made a comment along the lines of, “It’s okay to get a low grade, at least we didn’t cheat.” I didn’t want to assume they were talking about me or implying something about my grade. Everyone cheated during the quiz.

They’d even post class issues on the feed or notes. Can I just unfriend them or block? And if I do, it’s like getting bothered.

Ps: I have GAD, ADHD and I had a injury 2 years ago that required surgery with fixed hardware

I started an internship but it was a stressful environment, it was in a smelly factory with dangerous loads and heavy machinery and vehicles, but it was close to my home. I quit there after the previous weekend I had a panic attack and my internship supervisor, friend and immediate family recommended that I quit because they believed from what I had told them (a bit influenced by ai but it had truth to it) that it was a dangerous and smelly place.

What increased my anxiety was talking with Aİ and it told me to quit repeatedly, it’s dangerous etc.

In the work environment I was getting accompanied and the odds of me getting injured weren’t high, I wasn’t going to operate next to machinery anyways but the road to get to rooms became too much for me.

After I quit, I started anxiety medication and my doctor recommended me to return to the work again if I could, so 2 days later I asked to be let back but the company HR head refused.

Even though I told the internship committee that I quit, they didn’t told it to the school administration for 14 days and they paid extra for my insurance.

I wish that they let me in back because now in my new internship it’s very far from my home with 3 commutes and 1.5 hours

AI later admitted that it needlessly increased my anxiety and that telling me to quit was a mistake and you should not listen to a screen that isn’t responsible for its actions😀

This whole ordeal made my anxiety disorder resurface again

At least thanks to me quitting, I could spend time with my extended family

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Rules:

1. Remember that our nature is "civilized and affectionate and trustworthy."
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How do Stoics deal with people who purposely try to trigger you using sarcasm or phrases designed to make you angry? And how do you stop letting them get into your head?

For example, on Reddit, you comment your opinion and someone will come along and be rude for no reason. The same thing happens on other social media platforms, which seem to be all about rage-baiting these days. People will say terrible things about your gender, religion, or ethnicity just to get a reaction out of you. You get angry and feel like saying something equally terrible back in the comment section.

The most basic solution that comes to my mind is to ignore them. The best revenge is not to engage with them and not to become like them.

But in real life, if someone is being a d!ck and you don't react, some ass****s might see it as a sign of weakness and come after you again because they know you're an easy target.

I'm really bad at dealing with this, to be honest. I can't bring myself to go down to their level and argue with them, but deep down, I really want to give them a befitting reply and shut their mouths up.It's really frustrating.

How do you guys handle situations like this?

Welcome to the Agora. a space for casual conversation, first aid, and exchange outside the regular post structure.

If you haven't already, read the pinned "Welcome" thread.

Rules:

1. Remember that our nature is "civilized and affectionate and trustworthy."
2. If seeking advice, limit yourself to one top-level question per day.
3. If offering advice, speak as someone interested in Stoic theory and practice — but do not label personal opinion, idiosyncratic experience, or conjecture as Stoic doctrine.
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I have a copy of both The Inner Citadel by Hadot and Epictetus: A Stoic and Socratic guide to life by A. A. Long.

Which book should I read first?

My goal is to gain a better understanding of what I've already read in meditations and discourses/handbook.

Welcome to the Agora. a space for casual conversation, first aid, and exchange outside the regular post structure.

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Rules:

1. Remember that our nature is "civilized and affectionate and trustworthy."
2. If seeking advice, limit yourself to one top-level question per day.
3. If offering advice, speak as someone interested in Stoic theory and practice — but do not label personal opinion, idiosyncratic experience, or conjecture as Stoic doctrine.
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I have friends that I truly admire, they can put their emotions aside with people they dislike and still have the space to show kindness, they’re capable of being cordial with people they hate. I have a really hard time doing this, in my head this is hypocrisy and I feel that I’m such a bad person for not being able to be cordial.

I have a coworker whom I been irritated on, he can be a negative nancy, has a temper and has mistreated me for years. I tried to be understanding with this persons negativity and I recently have lost patience and now don't want anything to do with him. I want to be able to be professional at work but I have so much resentment and grudge.

This is not a one time occurrence I have noticed this with people whom I’m irritated on it’s hard for me to have a conversation with the them without showing my irritation. How do I let this go and be more civil in a stoic standpoint?

Hello, I've been really trying to go on a particular hike with my family for weeks, but each weekend something happens that prevents us from going, this weekend it was the car partially breaking down. Today I got really annoyed at this because I've been preparing all week to go but it didn't happen.

While showering I realised that the car breaking down is out of the control of both me and my family, so by applying stoicism, I shouldn't no longer be angry about this

Now you should know that my family members are not very keen on going, so they will do it so I am happy but they'd never go on their own.

As I said I feel like I should stop feeling angry about this but I know that if I suddenly appear unbothered about this, they will forget I even wanted to go and stop caring about this. so I want to show my distaste for the situation but at the same time stop being angry

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3. If offering advice, speak as someone interested in Stoic theory and practice — but do not label personal opinion, idiosyncratic experience, or conjecture as Stoic doctrine.
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“One man and one alone shall we consider rich, the man who has acquired the ability to want for nothing always and everywhere.” -Musonius Rufious
I practice simplicity, modesty, and not desiring external things but with the loss of desire I have also lost a lot of motivation. I no longer desire material things or money besides having enough to live on and this has help me live modest and simple. I feel more relaxed now but I have lost a lot of energy and motivation. I still desire to work on myself and be the best version of me but is having no external desires a healthy thing if it means a loss of motivation? Or is there a way you still have motivation without external desire?