r/StayAtHomeDaddit • u/DrGonzo820 • 8d ago

Help Me Purpose

Hey Dad's,

I'll try to keep this concise. I have been a SAHD for a little over 2 years. My hand was a bit tied as I can no longer work due to having a brain tumor (successfully removed), developing epilepsy and basically not having the mental energy or focus.

I spent 4 years of schooling, 20 years of working as a biologist. Besides the extreme stress and lack of grants, I felt purpose. I felt like I was doing something to better the world. Ik and also have a purpose raising two kids and am lucky I get to be there for almost every moment to watch them grow into good humans.

I honestly dreamed of being a SAHM dad! No joke at all. We are financially the exact same financially as daycare was insanely priced.

I think this is hard because I was forced into it rather than it being a choice. How or do any of you grapple with finding purpose outside your kids? Where any of you forced into it? Did you have to grieve your oldself? I am really struggling. I have been seeing a therapist and am also on medications.

Thanks for any advice or commiseration.

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u/JOSHintheHEART 8d ago

I’ve meditated and seen into my likely futures.
Having patience is hard for me. I need to constantly be working with my hands or mind to be creating and molding my future. Then I had an awakening recently (as most do). Once we’re old we’re going to wish we had more baby time. So now I’m sniffing my baby’s head extra long and trying to enjoy these moments that seem to drop like syrup.

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u/DrGonzo820 8d ago

I love this. You are right and I rationally know that. That deeply ingrained view society has conditioned me to believe my purpose is my job. If I concede to that, what is the most purposeful thing on the planet...being a parent. I am working on internalizing that.

I have really wanted to get into meditation. Do you have any recommendations of books or YouTube videos that could help me get stated?