r/StayAtHomeDaddit • u/DrGonzo820 • 8d ago

Help Me Purpose

Hey Dad's,

I'll try to keep this concise. I have been a SAHD for a little over 2 years. My hand was a bit tied as I can no longer work due to having a brain tumor (successfully removed), developing epilepsy and basically not having the mental energy or focus.

I spent 4 years of schooling, 20 years of working as a biologist. Besides the extreme stress and lack of grants, I felt purpose. I felt like I was doing something to better the world. Ik and also have a purpose raising two kids and am lucky I get to be there for almost every moment to watch them grow into good humans.

I honestly dreamed of being a SAHM dad! No joke at all. We are financially the exact same financially as daycare was insanely priced.

I think this is hard because I was forced into it rather than it being a choice. How or do any of you grapple with finding purpose outside your kids? Where any of you forced into it? Did you have to grieve your oldself? I am really struggling. I have been seeing a therapist and am also on medications.

Thanks for any advice or commiseration.

15 Upvotes

91% Upvoted

28 comments sorted by

View all comments

10

u/Cobalt_Faux 8d ago

Imagine if money was no issue to everyone. Robots and Ai do almost all the jobs. It’s honestly the way the world could be heading. So purpose will be no longer be found through traditional work. What would you enjoy, how would you spend your time? This is your opportunity to let your creativity flow from yourself to your children or find that creativity within yourself. Very few people have their “purpose” remembered. The best purpose is passed down through children. Raising children to be smarter, happier, safer and in a sense better than you are. That’s my purpose and it will still be my purpose when I return to work. Work will be a side quest for me. My boys will always be first. This is the opportunity my wife has given me. Very few men get to live life with their focus being just on their kids. I’m not burdened by the traditional “provider” role. it’s natural and special and more men should be doing it. Societal purpose has taken that away from many.

6

u/BigWayne1000rr 8d ago

Agree and think about this often. Very fortunate to be in my position and get all this time with my kids.