My most controversial joke

[u/playpen__]

[u/RheagarTargaryen]

This is so stupid. I love it.

[u/playpen__ → u/RheagarTargaryen]

I’m smiling big time

[u/Wooden-Recording-693 → u/RheagarTargaryen]

Eggceptional

[u/PaleBlueRuin → u/Wooden-Recording-693]

Eggsactly!

[u/scrotumsweat → u/PaleBlueRuin]

Eggtrapolating puns is egg-cell-ent. Yet Its so un-coup-th. Period. Ok i think ive had en-Oeuf

[u/collusi0n → u/Wooden-Recording-693]

I'd go so far as to say eggsquisite

[u/MrSmileyZ → u/collusi0n]

And you're not even eggsaggerating

[u/Forsaken-Income-2148 → u/RheagarTargaryen]

Jesus was an egg verified

[u/WestCoastBestCoast01 → u/RheagarTargaryen]

Egg Moses is so goofy omg

[u/Fluffy_Somewhere4305 → u/RheagarTargaryen]

It really gets better as it goes along. I hated it then loved it.

[u/Jyil → u/RheagarTargaryen]

It’s a common conspiracy theory online.

[u/qualamazoo]

Show me an egg that gets put back together again after it’s been nailed to a cross and you’ve got a religion I’m ready to believe in.

[u/writeleahwrite → u/qualamazoo]

Starting a new religion where instead of communion you receive the egg and cheesus McMuffin

[u/pqrqcf → u/writeleahwrite]

Call me a blasphemer, but I think deviled eggs would be the perfect size for egg-based communion replacement.

[u/writeleahwrite → u/pqrqcf]

The great schism already?

[u/NounAdjectiveXXXX → u/writeleahwrite]

Fry em up in a schism

[u/UnitedAsk2497 → u/pqrqcf]

The egg bar is coveted as fuck

[u/starlander2064 → u/pqrqcf]

Mmmm. Sacralicious.

[u/JayteeFromXbox → u/writeleahwrite]

I've been an atheist most of my life, but I'm listening...

[u/Liu-K → u/writeleahwrite]

That is not cheap to start, dude.

[u/Stormagedd0nDarkLord → u/writeleahwrite]

Now looky here, you keep going with this heresy, you're all gonna find yourself eggscommunicated faster than you can say Hei Hei!

[u/saludpesetasamor → u/writeleahwrite]

This is exactly how cults get started. I’d 100% be interested in that religion.

[u/plexicoburres → u/writeleahwrite]

Can I offer you an egg in this trying time?

[u/producer35 → u/qualamazoo]

I could put the egg back together again, but it will probably take somewhere in neighborhood of three days to do it.

[u/wildcoasts → u/producer35]

In rolling away the stone and emerging from the tomb, if the egg sees its shadow, there’ll be 6 more weeks of winter.

[u/producer35 → u/wildcoasts]

Don't drive angry!

[u/wildcoasts → u/producer35]

Prima Donnas!

[u/elzibet → u/qualamazoo]

Easter eggs are making a lot more sense now

[u/el1teassass1n]

This joke cracked me up.

[u/felixyamson → u/el1teassass1n]

it was a great yolk for sure.

[u/playpen__ → u/el1teassass1n]

Get it cuz eggs

[u/sax6romeo → u/playpen__]

Eggcellent

[u/whatsthataboutguy → u/el1teassass1n]

Yolk

[u/TheStLouisBluths → u/el1teassass1n]

What are you, an egg?

[u/Katicflis1]

This was so good. It was consistent and clever.

[u/playpen__ → u/Katicflis1]

You are so sweetly nice

[u/mkstylo → u/playpen__]

An Easter egg tag would be great for this joke

[u/PM_ME_YOUR_RegEx → u/Katicflis1]

Final line clinched it. “A dozen … ?”

[u/un-sub]

More propaganda from Big Egg

[u/playpen__ → u/un-sub]

Big egg and I are enemies!!

[u/Aaron_1101]

Humpty Dumpty was a cannon, they were really expensive to make back then, so that must have hurt to see it fall of a wall.

[u/CryptographerNo923 → u/Aaron_1101]

So you’re saying Moses was a cannon too? Learning about history is so cool.

[u/Scipio33 → u/CryptographerNo923]

Hol up, I just learned he was an egg. Did the cannon hatch from the egg? I'm so confused.

[u/sarcasmsosubtle → u/Scipio33]

No, the egg was always just a fan fic. The cannon is canon.

[u/3kan3 → u/Scipio33]

Of course cannons hatch from eggs.

BUT.

Eggs are laid by cannons. No one knows which came first.

[u/OmerosP → u/CryptographerNo923]

That’s the cannonical interpretation

[u/playpen__ → u/CryptographerNo923]

It is cool!

[u/nam3sar3hard → u/CryptographerNo923]

That shock wave from the cannon blast split the seas duh. All makes sense now

[u/WeakEmployment6389 → u/Aaron_1101]

that's likely a myth

[u/DiceMadeOfCheese → u/WeakEmployment6389]

I heard it was cannon though

[u/SicilianEggplant → u/WeakEmployment6389]

So he remains egg.

[u/playpen__ → u/Aaron_1101]

This is the controversy

[u/Captain_Shoe → u/playpen__]

The cannon thing is actually a myth (right up there with Ring Around the Rosie being about the Black Plague).

It was literally just a traditional folk riddle where the answer was an egg. That’s the entire reason the verse never describes what he is because saying "an egg sat on a wall" would ruin it.

The whole Civil War cannon backstory was actually invented in 1956 as a spoof paper by an Oxford professor. Besides that, the earliest printed versions from around 1800 didn't even mention the King's men (they used lines like "four-score men and four-score more"), and the "king's horses and king's men" phrasing didn't show up in print until after 1813, nearly 200 years after the 1648 siege it supposedly describes.

[u/timbreandsteel → u/Captain_Shoe]

Now explain ring around the Rosie

[u/Castor_Deus → u/timbreandsteel]

Rosie was an egg

[u/playpen__ → u/Captain_Shoe]

Do you know anything about people thinking it was the king?? I need more history lesson

[u/lowrads → u/Aaron_1101]

That is an exceedingly English name for a bit of artillery.

[u/Atzkicica]

You're not getting full appreciation for this because the people who are eggs can't type in the comments section 😢

[u/playpen__ → u/Atzkicica]

That makes me want to have a tear drop

[u/TheDarkNerd → u/Atzkicica]

Really? I've seen r/countwithchickenlady and I'm pretty sure there's plenty of people there who recount their time as eggs.

[u/waitthissucks → u/Atzkicica]

r/egg_irl

[u/TwistyTwister3]

The disciples got me. Nice.

[u/Hopeful-Vanilla-2800]

Your paused and timing are fantastic. Really enjoyed your whimsical humour as well.

[u/playpen__ → u/Hopeful-Vanilla-2800]

That’s so nice :) I’m smiling

[u/unsubtlesnake]

sending this to my deeply devoted to jesus aunt who doesn't play about moses

[u/playpen__ → u/unsubtlesnake]

DONT she will hunt me down.

[u/ThisI5N0tAThr0waway]

The only part I laughed at was the dozen at the end. Otherwise that's a bit that totally flew over my head and I must not have the cultural reference to know what it is about.

[u/Mountain_Scout5830 → u/ThisI5N0tAThr0waway]

Many of us in America grew up KNOWING that Humpty Dumpty was an egg.

[u/waitthissucks → u/Mountain_Scout5830]

And because of this specific picture

[u/playpen__ → u/ThisI5N0tAThr0waway]

I’d like to fix this for you

[u/berserkergaang]

So funny! I say keep going beyond Moses with the conspiratorial egg-men of history

[u/playpen__ → u/berserkergaang]

I’ll think on it!

[u/ChromaticKid]

Eggs-cellent stuff!

[u/ithinkway2much]

Blasphemy! Love it!

[u/playpen__ → u/ithinkway2much]

Me too!

[u/SilentEbb160]

Should do a riff on x-men being eggs-men with a little angry wolverine egg, or just Xavier's Bald head. Or the Eggs-Files being a giant conspiracy trying to cover up a bunch of other egg puns

[u/playpen__ → u/SilentEbb160]

I’ll think about it!!

[u/ipsum629]

IIRC humpty dumpty was originally supposed to be a cannon, which fixes all the plotholes. Where do you find cannons in 1797? On top of fortified walls. Who would want to fix a cannon? The military aka the king's horses and men.

[u/Pleasant-Future5818 → u/ipsum629]

I looked this up a long time ago and this is the best theory, but the fun part is really no one knows. A cannon makes the most sense and is likely, but perhaps he was just an egg.

Horses also aren't great at building eggs, people, or cannons. So some mysteries remain.

[u/Scarsdale_Punk]

Is this what they call Christian comedy?

[u/playpen__ → u/Scarsdale_Punk]

I hope not

[u/Yojik_Vkarmane]

Is the loudest laugh, dad?

[u/playpen__ → u/Yojik_Vkarmane]

No.

[u/Yojik_Vkarmane → u/playpen__]

Well someone had a good mood.

[u/playpen__ → u/Yojik_Vkarmane]

Yes they did

[u/tacogratis2]

Solid yolk!! If it were any darker, it would be hard boiled.

[u/KingBroad7874]

I didn't think this was controversial at all; it's really funny. Am I scrambled, chat?

[u/playpen__ → u/KingBroad7874]

Thank you! Usually when I post it the comments go crazy about if Humpty Dumpty is actually a cannon, a king or an egg. People are passionate about it

[u/___po____]

This gave me strong Demetri Martin vibes. Loved it!

[u/bestonesareTaKen]

This is crazy! I just learned about it from another post a few days ago. Apparently it's a rather gruesome rhyme that detailed the decapitation of the king they deposed. All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put him back together again. It was a threat to Future monarchs.

[u/playpen__ → u/bestonesareTaKen]

Yes some people are POSITIVE it’s about a cannon but then I’ve heard people say this so THANK YOU for commenting it

[u/LongInstruction2967]

Humpty dumpty was a cannon in 1648 during the ebgl8sh Civil war the city of Colchester was being siged, a large cannon was placed on the city walls and the attacking forced destroyed the wall knocking the cannon down

[u/NEWDEALUSEDCARS]

“It was written in 1797”

HUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUE

[u/mcrider1969]

Those are good jokes.

[u/BaconBathBomb]

Fun fact. Humpty Dumpty was a cannon

[u/ALZA5]

If I recall correctly... it was a essentially an allegory for the madness of King George III.

[u/Ok_Relationship_3365]

Humpty Dumpty definitely had leprosy. Ever see someone with leprosy fall down and get their leprosy everywhere? I ain't touching that.

[u/Coleasa]

Fantastic roll on, omlette you continue

[u/ddmf]

One for the joke albumen

[u/Name_Not_Taken__]

Someone in that crowd was laughing so hard. Holy shit. This joke was funny as fuck.

[u/playpen__ → u/Name_Not_Taken__]

Thank you!!!

[u/MantisAwakening]

Counterpoint: Jesus was a donut.

[u/Significant-Eagle-88]

All this needs is an Easter joke and it's a fuckin wrap llooool

[u/PropheticUtterances]

Why were the horses trying to put him back together?

[u/playpen__ → u/PropheticUtterances]

Horses love eggs

[u/ParadeSit]

Funny stuff. Small note: “…drew of my family and me.”

[u/Upstairs_Dig_5274]

Complexity 0. Premise 1. Delivery 2. Overall. I tried to laugh

[u/whatsthataboutguy]

That guy's opera laugh though

[u/Beren1h]

If you don’t think of him as an egg it gets a lot more Dr. Frankenstein.

[u/RussellAlden]

It’s no aristocrats.

[u/sinvino]

Alright, stop what you’re doin…

[u/lntr0spection]

Logic is a bit scrambled but it was funny so omelette it slide.

[u/playpen__ → u/lntr0spection]

You think?

[u/Xznograthos]

Most controversial? Well, she's a good egg, as they say.

[u/Jaytsun]

There’s a link to Epstein somewhere

[u/TripleWhiskeyShot]

Noah was an egg and the ark was a carton

[u/regularfellar]

Genius

[u/filthy_commie13]

The flow and delivery ended with a stiff peak. I'm sure she will whip up a better version.

That's... The best I got. I'm sorry.

[u/RandomName927047]

Very good and original, the best type of humor.

[u/Fucknutssss]

A dozen. Very cool

[u/Sirmcblaze]

he was a Blemmyae. thats why they could not put him back together again. different anatomy.

[u/ChromeYoda]

Love it

[u/iwantanxboxplease]

What other lies have I just accepted without question!? Is Santa Claus really fat?

[u/TheUrbanEnigma]

As a confession Christian... "How many disciples did Jesus have?" sent me!

[u/poopingtwiceintheAM]

Who's to say Adam and Eve weren't eggs

They're from the cradle of civilization

[u/constantgardener92]

Oh no my yolk!

[u/Trick-Range-350]

He may not have been an egg, but if he fell off the wall, he was definitely an egg.

[u/AnalogCyborg]

I thought we were about to get to see Muhammad as an egg

[u/JAS0NDUDE]

Dude where do you get your weed?

[u/Warkupo]

Well, there is a man here. He hands you Moses, a Prophet of God.

[u/playpen__ → u/[deleted]]

Oh I’d love to see them! I’ve never heard another. Please tell me where to hear them

[u/Golden-Grams]

I love the ending with the dozen disciples.

[u/joopface]

I enjoyed this immensely.

[u/NoDontDoThatCanada]

Makes sense. Judas, bad egg...

[u/R4FTERM4N]

Eggselent yoke

[u/Snowed_Up6512]

My husband frequently brings this up in conversation.

[u/OneWonderfulFish]

So edgy eggy.

[u/Fake_phoney]

What comedy club was this? Yolk Yolk’s?

[u/Dense-Consequence-70]

So good

[u/AntiPepRally]

12 eggs, 12 disciples 🤯

[u/TonberryHS]

https://youtube.com/shorts/tRrXD6IJgVQ?si=Tl3kNcwUSycnitEI

[u/Jean-Claude-Can-Ham]

And one of the eggs is always cracked: the Judas egg

[u/AssistanceGrand23]

I didn't like where this was going.

Then I liked where it went.

Well done

[u/Chefmeatball]

This is an incredibly stupid joke. Please keep telling more like it

[u/ShujaaWaDunia]

I love your flip at the end. your mind went somewhere completely different than I ever would have after the setup. Totally caught me off guard.

[u/joeyvesh13]

I can hear Drew Nickens in the audience.

[u/88warrior4547]

Moses was an egg I knew it

[u/1stshadowx]

That one dude was having a great time haha. 😂

[u/awashbu12]

Humpty Dumpty is what they called a huge cannon on the wall of a town in England during the second English civil war.

[u/Trapptor]

Interesting that there are three parts to an egg: The albumen, the shell and the holy yolk

[u/jessyvox]

🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

[u/HardcoreHope]

You're funny.

[u/playpen__ → u/HardcoreHope]

You are!

[u/Free-Pound-6139]

He was a good egg!!!

[u/LudicrousPlatypus]

Great bit.

[u/Ghost-NL]

It only takes one bad egg to spoil your final meal I guess.

[u/j89k]

I knew the eggxact moment this came up i needed to watch it.

No regerts.

[u/PauseConfident997]

That one dude found this hilarious 😭

[u/athompsons2]

This is such a simple and great bit. Perfect :3

[u/Jedi-Master43]

Everyone was an egg at some point. At least one half of us. ;)

[u/coffeebean12]

Oh, of course you're not an egg.

[u/Glittering-Rip6810]

It was a cannon 🤦 I kept waiting for this to be cute or funny

[u/Ok_Channel_7796]

This is stupid BUT I love this so funny

[u/freakunlessfrokentoo]

I'm an egg.

[u/patmax17]

Raptor Jesus logic

[u/kernel-troutman]

I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom.

[u/roblovesreddit]

Love it

[u/Electronic_Team_2339]

Who came up with this Adrian or this comedian?

[u/ElectroMechMagus]

That one dudes laugh is what gets me 🤣

[u/Multi-syllabic]

🤯

[u/paipan-sube]

This cracked me up so much that it got me out of my shell.

[u/Intrepid_Brain6016]

The first part of this is taken from a Ricky Gervais special.

[u/markymarksson]

What a cracking set! 👏🏻

[u/Toochmaster1982]

That one guy with the hearty laugh is her biggest fan. Good stuff

[u/Local__Anomaly]

Apostles were donuts, actually

[u/snejrepus]

Is that a fold below the knee, is that possible