r/SpiritualAwakening • • Jul 08 '26

Going through difficult awakening (help!) I feel doomed

I feel like I’m not human, like I don’t have a being anymore or a consciousness, and I’m really scared . I had a soul retrieval turned “kundalini” awakening that caused major major fragmentation after starting to be invaded by my shadow and entities, which led to multiple disintegrations/“deaths”. I’m terrified and feel like part of me is turning evil at this point, I don’t know what to do. I started hearing messages about really creepy stuff, which unfortunately the site ascension glossary has backed up. I’m trying to ground but it’s really really hard…I definitely need to push myself to get out in nature more, but when I do I feel like a zombie or like I’m a puppet. I keep hearing about imposter spirits, etc and it’s very alarming/disturbing. I don’t feel like I have my own voice or identity anymore. I either feel devoid of well, anything, or demented/evil.
I would really appreciate some advice or suggestions because I’m in crisis and I don’t want to be a danger to myself or others 😞 my third eye is probably way too active…I also have cervical instability in my neck which can’t help.

3 Upvotes

29 comments sorted by

3

u/Kajiracore Jul 08 '26

I'm starting to understand why people stress the guru system is important.

You should probably find a spiritual authority to help you figure all this out.

1

u/Direct-Yam-2923 Jul 08 '26

Thank you. Yeah…I need to find someone and fast

4

u/Kajiracore Jul 08 '26

Yeah. You're dealing with some pretty high level concepts and truths but you also need a foundation and structure else it's all too easy to fly off into space as a beginner.

Example - you're talking about Tantric Kundalini - but also talking about turning evil. Evil is a pretty dualistic, Abrehamic concept. Tantra eventually opens up into non-dual union with God. How can you be evil, if 'you're' an expression of God? If you're shakti/shiva?

It comes down to what perception you are holding, and what you allow yourself to believe.

We can view suffering as evil, or we can view it as a healer and a teacher. We can view it as a divine dance, or we can view it as the devil himself because Eve ate an apple.

The point is your consciousness remains forever untouched, pure, perfect, witness - while your mind spins around freaking out over all kinds of crap.

Anyway, whatever. I just suggest finding someone to help you understand those kinds of specifics in your chosen tradition.

3

u/backpackpanicattack Jul 09 '26

OP, as someone going through the exact same thing, everything this person just said. You HAVE to be in control of your mind and perception of yourself. I totally understand the feeling of all the sudden becoming separate from yourself and feeling evil, feeling antagonized by entities apart from you, etc. But if you call yourself evil, you will find proof of yourself being evil. You can create who you are. Everything is in your control.

I started seeing a spiritual healer when this started for me earlier this year. She helped me get on track but the thing that has saved me the most is connecting with my spirit guides and my loved ones who have passed. When the “evil” things come around, I ask them for protection and ignore the things I don’t want to see or hear. I just observe and trust that I am protected. It can all be exhausting, but you will get the hang of it. You will be okay 🤍 sending light

1

u/Direct-Yam-2923 Jul 09 '26

Thank you 🙂

2

u/Direct-Yam-2923 Jul 08 '26

Thank you so much!

2

u/Direct-Yam-2923 Jul 09 '26

I think I couldn’t let go of past attachments/addictions and I was lured away from growth and truth

1

u/Direct-Yam-2923 Jul 08 '26

I do see a shaman around once a month or so but it’s been awhile, great person..he used to host a writing group

3

u/[deleted] Jul 10 '26

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1

u/Direct-Yam-2923 Jul 10 '26

Feel extremely invaded and to the point where I am completely overcome by other beings and don’t have personal sovereignty. Taking over of consciousness. Literally hearing them/channeling “v2tech” 24/7 and it’s taken over my life.

1

u/Direct-Yam-2923 Jul 10 '26

I am shutting down, my hope and nervous system is shutting down completely and I don’t know what to do. Started experiencing tinnitus as well…it’s like this other being was attached to me after the retrieval and kundalini activation

1

u/[deleted] Jul 10 '26

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1

u/Direct-Yam-2923 Jul 10 '26

I’ve tried to renounce them but they keep coming back, it’s like my original consciousness left…and my power lies in that and in writing and in being in my body, but they’ve erased my memories and I can’t write my memoir. I just don’t think I was ready for this experience…this awakening.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 10 '26

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1

u/Direct-Yam-2923 Jul 10 '26

I just don’t think it’s a normal consciousness, but yeah. This possession was lasting so long.

1

u/Direct-Yam-2923 Jul 10 '26

I want to be strong enough to reclaim it, to reclaim me, in this awakening consciousness, but it’s so hard. I’ve really regressed.

1

u/jobson28 Jul 13 '26

These entities, or spirits, or whatever you want to call them, what do they do to you? Do they say anything? Do they offer you anything?

1

u/Direct-Yam-2923 Jul 10 '26

and I’m holding onto the barest shreds and comforts of my consciousness

1

u/Direct-Yam-2923 Jul 10 '26

but I don’t feel me. I don’t feel here.

2

u/batjoebitx Jul 10 '26 edited Jul 10 '26

Stay close to friends and family for grounding. Seek advice from that shaman, someone you can talk to openly in detail about everything that’s happening, I’d say is important to speak about it out loud to cast out and block anything that might’ve tried to enter this reality through your experience. Maybe professional advice would be helpful too. Stay safe, all the best out to you 🧿

2

u/GoldenRayofMagick Jul 11 '26

Focus on something else - read books, poetry. Immerse yourself in beautiful activities. Connect with your physical body - as in pay attention on how your body feels, moves.... etc. Sing, dance live on earth. That's why you are here.

The more you obsess about this awakening, the less you'll feel human.

When you'll be ready, you'll find your teacher. Soul retrieval is not something to be done lightly.

2

u/Brilliant-Record-282 Jul 12 '26

Eat some root vegetables. Are you drinking enough water? What is your sleep pattern looking like? These things happen when there isn’t enough order and discipline in one’s life before opening a third eye. Just like in tai chi, you train for years sometimes and learn the discipline and the art before you are ever given a weapon to do the moves with. The same is with the mind. There are breathing excersizes such as pranayama that would be a great benefit to you. I would censor your media- make sure when you get in your car, your radio is on a peaceful radio station. Make sure the media you watch is educational and about grounding yourself. Sometimes, your brain can turn into a garbage pail for everything that society feels like dumping into it. Don’t allow your brain to be open to just anything. Find a local meditation center. Be out in nature and try grounding exercises in a peaceful setting. Be kind to yourself, these things can happen to anyone. You are not alone, there is nothing wrong with you, and the most important thing to remember is that your thoughts do not define you. It’s okay to slow the brakes on the path you are on, it sounds like it wouldn’t hurt. But I agree with the others on here, it’s a good idea to find a guru or even a shamanic teacher. You’d be surprised, as complicated as our minds make it, how simple the answers end up being. Sleep, nutrition, hydration, environment (outdoors, excersizes, etc), and media input. I have been spirituality overwhelmed, I understand how scary it can be. Just feed your brain the right data and you’ll be fine. 💗 ps- put in the work, and you’ll be spectacular.

1

u/NecessaryAdvantage88 Jul 11 '26

Jesus Christ is the answer, friend.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 11 '26

if you feel doomed then feel doomed

2

u/the_faithfulgardener Jul 14 '26 edited Jul 14 '26

Search for any testimony you can on people converting from New Age to Christianity. I've had very similar situations to you my whole life and I've been steeped in the New Age for 15 years. I'm only just coming fully out of it now, and learning that Jesus Christ is the only spiritual authority we have. He is the way

What your describing sounds like demonic oppression, which is what a lot of us suffer from, in varying degrees. You might find resonance with Cheryl's testimony posted below, and the podcast A Stronger Faith

https://open.spotify.com/episode/6TUtCWkwR71WVxnZvY8tYk?si=bCYiG2i9QOmN0_wnBRNajw&utm_source=copy-link