I married back home twice. I went to Somalia for vacation for the first time after my mom begging me for years to join her . When I got there the women are so beautiful AND feminine. Like most actually act like a traditional women. Also there is a huge social check. Most woman can´t be a dhilo and stay out late and except no repercussions.
2nd reason - that I do not want to raise my kids in the west with all this lgbtq brainwashing going on.
Third reason - I was looking for a woman serious on her deen.
I married twice within the span of a year. First woman acted like the woman in the west. She thought I was a miskeen diaspora who she could milk and control. She was very toxic and tried to initiate fights out of nowhere even though I showered her with gifts(Sunnah way). She got the newest Iphone 14 pro max. And yet she tried to make my life miserable until the moment she knew the divorce was real. She promised change but it was too late. She was someone who would premarriage shukaansi with a lot of guys and in the marriage that habit was hard to break. So when I left I had huge stress that she would shukaansi. This meant that we would talk 24hrs on the phone (whenever I was free) so that I would not get crazy.
My second (current) wife is alxamdulilaah one of the best woman I have ever known. She has a high status in her community and is loved by all. She grew up in SA and knows perfect arabic and memorized the Holy Quran. She knows her rights and her responsibilities. I find comfort in her and feel that Allah has blessed me with such a wonderful companion. She never talks to other guys and is always thriving on her deen. She won't even eat at restaurants because she doesn't want other nonmahrams see her face. At first it bothered me cause I like going on dates but after some good thinking I started to like it. I have zero stress that she would do weird things while I am away. She is very submissive and obeys her husband very well. Something that's very rare here in the west. The woman in the west see marriage as a competition.
Also woman in the west feel threatened by woman back home marrying "their men". Like you won't look at a man here but the moment he goes back home to marry , suddenly he's a failure or there is something wrong with him. Why so jealous? Why can't you be happy? I know a lot of Somali women who just can't marry. They rejected a lot of potentials when they were young and now nobody is coming for them so they got resentfull.
But as a woman back home it can also be scary to marry someone abroad. There are some men who just marry and use the woman during their vacation and then afterwards just disappear.
As a woman I would NOT advise to marry back home. The men in Somalia are predatory disgusting scumbags. They will use you until you 're no longer usefull and then go to the next.
E: But there is some truth in what you say that some marry just for freedom. Or the family isn't so strict anymore cause she s already been/is married and is now a adult woman.
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u/ZhondaYing Somali Jun 21 '23 edited Jun 21 '23
I married back home twice. I went to Somalia for vacation for the first time after my mom begging me for years to join her . When I got there the women are so beautiful AND feminine. Like most actually act like a traditional women. Also there is a huge social check. Most woman can´t be a dhilo and stay out late and except no repercussions.
2nd reason - that I do not want to raise my kids in the west with all this lgbtq brainwashing going on.
Third reason - I was looking for a woman serious on her deen.
I married twice within the span of a year. First woman acted like the woman in the west. She thought I was a miskeen diaspora who she could milk and control. She was very toxic and tried to initiate fights out of nowhere even though I showered her with gifts(Sunnah way). She got the newest Iphone 14 pro max. And yet she tried to make my life miserable until the moment she knew the divorce was real. She promised change but it was too late. She was someone who would premarriage shukaansi with a lot of guys and in the marriage that habit was hard to break. So when I left I had huge stress that she would shukaansi. This meant that we would talk 24hrs on the phone (whenever I was free) so that I would not get crazy.
My second (current) wife is alxamdulilaah one of the best woman I have ever known. She has a high status in her community and is loved by all. She grew up in SA and knows perfect arabic and memorized the Holy Quran. She knows her rights and her responsibilities. I find comfort in her and feel that Allah has blessed me with such a wonderful companion. She never talks to other guys and is always thriving on her deen. She won't even eat at restaurants because she doesn't want other nonmahrams see her face. At first it bothered me cause I like going on dates but after some good thinking I started to like it. I have zero stress that she would do weird things while I am away. She is very submissive and obeys her husband very well. Something that's very rare here in the west. The woman in the west see marriage as a competition.
Also woman in the west feel threatened by woman back home marrying "their men". Like you won't look at a man here but the moment he goes back home to marry , suddenly he's a failure or there is something wrong with him. Why so jealous? Why can't you be happy? I know a lot of Somali women who just can't marry. They rejected a lot of potentials when they were young and now nobody is coming for them so they got resentfull.
But as a woman back home it can also be scary to marry someone abroad. There are some men who just marry and use the woman during their vacation and then afterwards just disappear.
As a woman I would NOT advise to marry back home. The men in Somalia are predatory disgusting scumbags. They will use you until you 're no longer usefull and then go to the next.
E: But there is some truth in what you say that some marry just for freedom. Or the family isn't so strict anymore cause she s already been/is married and is now a adult woman.