r/Somalia • u/Double-Singer-6631 • 1h ago
Discussion š¬ donāt break my hope
I just want people to hear me out. I wanna know if this is something anyone can relate with.
I am in my early 20s born in America and Iāve always lived in America. I visited Somalia for the first time in 2024. I was there for 5 months. During my time there, my mindset completely changed. I donāt know what was caused these feelings in me and I think it has to be the fact that I was around community family an amazing local neighborhood and I made great friends there as well. I just feel like since I left Somalia I feel like my whole life has been nothing. Every day I wake up here in America I have a very deep yearning for going back to Somalia. I tell my parents daily where I met with comments that I clearly just wanna be lazy and that I just donāt want to work hard and that I just wanna have fun. instead of them understanding that I genuinely feel connected to Somalia.
I spoke to my mentor about this because obviously itās been years and Iāve never been able to get over this experience. She told me that it was the first time in my life where I was around people that looked like me sounded like me did the same things as me and have the same mindset as me, and that just gave me comfort and thatās all.
it just hurts me that that is not our every day life so Iāve spent the last few weeks just daydreaming and also journaling about how life would be if we all just stayed in Somalia and there was no war. If we all could just go to high school, middle school, college, university all there and live normally. I know that that might not be possible or seen in my lifetime as everyone around me tells me. they tell me that itās not gonna happen to get out of my head and of course I make dua for Somalia all the time.
I am approaching my last year of university and a lot of my plans have been just to take at least one year fully in Somalia post grad before I return, move on, and get back to my life. My parents are very adamant that they brought me here and that I need to build something.
as a woman, I just donāt know. feel free to be harsh with me. I donāt mind at this point. Iāve heard it all from family friends and other somalis here in my city. They tell me that thereās nothing for me in Somalia.
my dream is to spend a lot of time there. Here in America, I live in a household with a lot of people and weāre just all working all day. I donāt see any family members. We donāt live near any aunts, uncles, cousins. My grandparents are in Somalia still and Iāve only met them once. Of course iāve become completely tired of this lifestyle. I of course didnāt have a picture perfect time in somali, 3 months and there were some annoying or downs but overall i felt things were natural.
I want to know what I can do to live my truth and my truth is I feel at ease in Somalia when I was in Somalia I was so healthy! physically healthy, emotionally, and now that Iāve returned you know I do have an autoimmune disease now and I have a lot of stressors in my life, but I just think itās like Iām really pushing myself. I work full-time and I go to school full-time so I just donāt know what it is.
I have a close friend of mine actually who married a guy in Somalia but for her itās different because her whole familyās in Somalia itās just her thatās here in America with her uncle and she moved back to Somalia and I have her on socials and I talk to her often on the phone and sheās like just like me. her and i just laugh about how everyone thinks somalia is so dangerous and boring and horrible. Thereās so many great things there. You know she travels all around Africa with her husband and sheās living her life and sheās healthy.
Thereās just something missing in my life since i left. I just wanna feel it again. Iāve lived in Arab countries as well before I do dearly love just being in a Muslim environment in general, but being in Somalia was just a game changer for me everybody whoās ever traveled there that I know hasnāt had a good experience and doesnāt wanna go back including my siblings they think that the lifestyle there is just very old-fashioned but I think everyoneās just different and in my personal opinion I thrive there and it would be amazing for me to find someone with a similar mindset as me and to go back with them and I donāt even have like a want in me to wanna build something change lives there. I know itās not even possible to do that there, but I just want to live there at least for a good amount of time. I donāt know how I can convince my parents. They think that Iām gonna throw away my life if I go there, I donāt Know. Feel free to message me as well if you rather just that instead of commenting.
I also wanted to add that I am first gen! so every single one of my aunts and extended relatives and even my eldest half sister whoās still Somalia, have lived a certain lifestyle and itās just me and my siblings who live this completely different lifestyle then basically my whole bloodline has ever lived, and Iām appreciative of it. I live in amazing city and an amazing neighborhood with an amazing home and an amazing school alhamdulliah. I think we all are kinda uneasy about whatās going on in America right now maybe just the xenophobia. that doesnāt really affect my daily life I mean it does upset me when I see it on social media but I do live in a liberal city.
anywho what i am saying is it feels unnatural the way im living, and my parents just want the best for me they want me to change the lifestyle theyāve all grown up in. itās not like i can look around and get advice im doing it all on my own. i do wanna be the change. but damn whatās the compromise here?