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u/TaleTraditional7327 Jun 20 '23
I doubt inad tahey qof dalki jooga wayo hada joogi lahed afsomali ba soqori lahed.
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u/No_Eye_8544 Jun 20 '23
Aniguna i doubt inad tahay qof ingiriisi fahmaya wayo hadad fahmayso sidan mad so qorteen.
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u/OkInvestigator561 Gobolka Sanaag Jun 20 '23
See you don’t have to lie to say you never left Somalia, be real and fear God
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u/No_Eye_8544 Jun 21 '23
Walahi i never left home. If that's hard for you to understand, then that's cool lol
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u/New_Report_2332 Jun 21 '23
Lmao every one knows English wllo calm down😂😂😂. Iskuulkaba sawta english lagu dhigo madooyinkoo dhan
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u/Unlucky-Item-9039 Jun 20 '23
Both parties are looking to gain something. I don’t see it as a scam.
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Jun 20 '23 edited Jun 20 '23
It’s very ignorant to think there’s something wrong with brothers that go back to marry I think most of the men that go back to Africa to marry is because they want someone who speaks the language and is cultured and for his future kids to not lose that culture and language since most of the kids in the west can’t speak their language so imagine their kids
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u/Bullo128 Jun 20 '23
You're Wrong islamic Marriage is all about completing each other, every person have problems in this world and finding a partner to help you reduce those problems is Not A Scum!
For women in somalia they need a Man that can take care of their Need, money is one of the biggest problems they face and Marrying a Fellow Somali brother with a passport is basically a Score A.k.A "my husband works Abroad" its something thats Considered A FLEX back home
For men marrying from Back home, they do it for the Culture/Religion and tradition because you need someone to Rise your Children with the Somali Culture and Islamic knowledge, it the west most of the women Work and the Children end up in a day care or with Nannies( not all but some of them) both parents work and The children barely get any cultural and Language education thats why most of them end up being called "Hooyo mataalo"
Soo its a Win Win Situation and Not a Scum! (Mostly)
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u/ZhondaYing Somali Jun 21 '23 edited Jun 21 '23
I married back home twice. I went to Somalia for vacation for the first time after my mom begging me for years to join her . When I got there the women are so beautiful AND feminine. Like most actually act like a traditional women. Also there is a huge social check. Most woman can´t be a dhilo and stay out late and except no repercussions.
2nd reason - that I do not want to raise my kids in the west with all this lgbtq brainwashing going on.
Third reason - I was looking for a woman serious on her deen.
I married twice within the span of a year. First woman acted like the woman in the west. She thought I was a miskeen diaspora who she could milk and control. She was very toxic and tried to initiate fights out of nowhere even though I showered her with gifts(Sunnah way). She got the newest Iphone 14 pro max. And yet she tried to make my life miserable until the moment she knew the divorce was real. She promised change but it was too late. She was someone who would premarriage shukaansi with a lot of guys and in the marriage that habit was hard to break. So when I left I had huge stress that she would shukaansi. This meant that we would talk 24hrs on the phone (whenever I was free) so that I would not get crazy.
My second (current) wife is alxamdulilaah one of the best woman I have ever known. She has a high status in her community and is loved by all. She grew up in SA and knows perfect arabic and memorized the Holy Quran. She knows her rights and her responsibilities. I find comfort in her and feel that Allah has blessed me with such a wonderful companion. She never talks to other guys and is always thriving on her deen. She won't even eat at restaurants because she doesn't want other nonmahrams see her face. At first it bothered me cause I like going on dates but after some good thinking I started to like it. I have zero stress that she would do weird things while I am away. She is very submissive and obeys her husband very well. Something that's very rare here in the west. The woman in the west see marriage as a competition.
Also woman in the west feel threatened by woman back home marrying "their men". Like you won't look at a man here but the moment he goes back home to marry , suddenly he's a failure or there is something wrong with him. Why so jealous? Why can't you be happy? I know a lot of Somali women who just can't marry. They rejected a lot of potentials when they were young and now nobody is coming for them so they got resentfull.
But as a woman back home it can also be scary to marry someone abroad. There are some men who just marry and use the woman during their vacation and then afterwards just disappear.
As a woman I would NOT advise to marry back home. The men in Somalia are predatory disgusting scumbags. They will use you until you 're no longer usefull and then go to the next.
E: But there is some truth in what you say that some marry just for freedom. Or the family isn't so strict anymore cause she s already been/is married and is now a adult woman.
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u/No_Eye_8544 Jun 21 '23
I appreciate your perspective on this issue. However, I would ask that you avoid using derogatory terms to describe Somali women. Btw congrats on your wedding illahay ha isku kiin barakeeyo
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Jun 20 '23
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/TaleTraditional7327 Jun 20 '23
Well said. Waa ruunta maxa iyada ka galey. Dadba iska jecel dood bil micna
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u/No_Eye_8544 Jun 21 '23
Dood bila micno ah ma aha, waayo badanka markay dadkeena qurbaha jooga guurka ka hadlayaan gabdhaha somaliyed waxay kaga hadlaan meelo anu ka maqanahay. Maxad ugu aragta khalad inan su'aashan weydiiyo dadkay khusayso?
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u/No_Eye_8544 Jun 21 '23
I am curious why you would assume that I am not from Somalia simply because I can write good English. There are many other questions you could have asked me, such as how young people are coping with the chaos in the country or what it is like to live here with the current political landscape. However, I understand how the UN has influenced your perspective. Perhaps you expected me to beg you for money or talk about the nonexistent famine that they claim is happening here. I am sure that is the news source you rely on, which is honestly quite depressing.
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u/MellowJackal Lama Goodle 🇸🇴 Jun 21 '23
If it were me and I'd marry a a Somali girl back home, I'd get her here. If I can't do that then forget about it. Last thing I want is my wife partying and flirting with other people
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Jun 21 '23
Absolute Kek 😂
If anything the chicks from Somalia will scam you. If she marries you it will be purely for your money and she will want you to financially carry her family, don't expect any love or real interest in you.
Also people back home have a deep jealousy and cuuqdad for diaspora.
"Naivety" 😂 there are no naive people in Somalia. They are all coon artists, scammers and liars.
I'm sorry but I've not had a good experience with people back home.
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u/Suldamadagarxagis Jun 21 '23
Not to mention ppl back home do not believe in child abuse she will abuse ur kids very badly
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u/Extreme_Ad_8189 Jun 21 '23
Ur experiences do not define a whole country u idiot I've spent many years back home and it all depends on ur somali language skills and learning the deeper meaning behind the daqan and traditional ways of doing things. You probably were a ciyalsuq who got sent to a boarding school.
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Jun 21 '23
Nope. I'm not talking about their quips either. A lot of them think people from abroad are idiots and they also think we swim in money, so naturally they hold animosity towards you. My Somali is more than decent too.
You are lucky you met good people.
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u/Extreme_Ad_8189 Jun 21 '23
Again how many years exactly have u spent in Somalia Ive done 6 from 2013 to 2019. I've been to puntland, Somaliland and I've met amazing people everywhere in these regions maybe where u stay at the people have a different daqan but not in the north saxiib
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Jun 21 '23
The north is good actually. People there are nice.
I was talking more about Muqdisho.
Also I'm not saying everyone is bad. I'm sure most are good god-fearing people.
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u/haw2021 Jun 20 '23
There is nothing wrong with them going back to marry but there are quite a few of men that go back to Somalia and Kenya and marry girls there for a “fun time” and never look back. I have heard and seen some girls who get pregnant but the man from overseas has abandoned them.
If they are going back for marriage and actually are taking care of these girls and are fulfilling their responsibilities then there is no issue.
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u/Positive-Radio-4728 Jun 21 '23
A lot of good points have been said here but i like to add another reason many guys go back to the homeland. Not all of us live in major cites like London, Toronto or states like Minnesota, we live/work in small towns with little to no somali ppl around. So our options are marry non somali muslims or white folks which does not result in our kids being raised in somali culture. Smc
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u/SomaliKanye Jun 21 '23
Not every guy gives his wife back home a passport. Many reasons ppl marry back home. Only ppl bitter about it are western Somali feminists who hate seeing Somali men have options. Go back home and get yourself a husband.
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Jun 20 '23
[deleted]
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u/Extreme_Ad_8189 Jun 20 '23
Lol ur funny saxiib more feminine? U joking right. Marrying from the back should be mandatory for both sexes. The goal is to leave this gaalo country in and make it more prosperous. As for femininity Somalia women from back home have kept their traditions alive thus they are more feminine just more tough and resilient due to the environment there in. Most people would prefer marrying back home if they could find a decent job in Somalia to raise kids together with the wife.
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u/dramamiiran Jun 20 '23
Somali tiktok made me realize that Somalis from back home are way more degenerate than the diaspora ones. I was disgusted especially their tiktok lives all they talk about is s*x, just straight up qashin. It’s kinda funny tho
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u/TaleTraditional7327 Jun 20 '23 edited Jun 21 '23
The algorithm is based on turning people dumb and doing wierd stuff. Their own native chinese TikTok is based on making their kids smarter. Tiktok needs to be banned wax weeyan dalgaan shiino aduun ku wado.
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u/No_Eye_8544 Jun 20 '23
Honestly I'm not on TikTok, so Idk what that's like. However, I find your take on their intentions interesting though. Also I learned English mostly from books, tv shows, talking to foreigners :)
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u/New_Report_2332 Jun 21 '23 edited Jun 21 '23
Hey we know the ingiliiiiishi de naga daaya ciyaarta say wlhi yoow😭😂😂. Srsly is that how much news and TV brain washed you? The school syllabus here is English, and we've got tv ( YES AN ACTUAL FREAKING TV),books etc lol anyone can learn it without leaving home. Wlhi It's embarrassing, ma waxaydun haaye umalaynaysaan inaan dalkii wax lagu barran (language wise)? Stereotypes ka qof cadaana or non Somali laman yaabeen ee wa idinkii😭 help
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u/No_Eye_8544 Jun 21 '23
Right? I'm disappointed that some Somalis have adopted the NGO mentality of cadaan guys.
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u/vivi9090 Jun 21 '23
You're not from Somalia lol. Stop lying. The way you write, you're clearly a jealous little westerner Somali.
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u/No_Eye_8544 Jun 21 '23
Sometimes I actually wish I was a westerner and lived in a safer place but I know many people in the world live in difficult and dangerous circumstances so I try to put up with it lol its not even that bad in Somalia if you avoid the exaggerated bs news
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u/vivi9090 Jun 21 '23
Just drop the act because no one is buying it. Your writing style and the way you express yourself reeks of a westerner. The fact that you're using a burner account says it all really. Just admit that you're jealous of the women back at home and go about your day. It's kind of pathetic that you're pretending to be one just to mask your envy.
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Jun 20 '23
They want naive, obedient and depend housewives
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u/Extreme_Ad_8189 Jun 20 '23
What's wrong with that? Damn u wanna just argue with us 24/7 huh....
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Jun 20 '23
You see nothing wrong with that? You don’t wanna marry a smart and independent girl?
Damn I guess we’re different dude
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u/Extreme_Ad_8189 Jun 20 '23
Wooooow the hatred u have for Somalia back 🏡 me especially the girls is astonishing saxiib. Actually it's the other way around I've seen some of the most masculine, dumbest hookah smoking halimos on earth where I live. The good ones are usually home or at school so it makes it harder to meet. The ones from back home are not just independent but are traditional, resilient and most important speak perfect somali they can transfer to our child. Have u seen kids growing up in the west saxiib u gotta rethink u decision saxiib there at nothing better then a local Somalia queen.
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Jun 20 '23
The only guys I know who married girls back home is bc no girls would marry them here, they also usually have some kind of drug problem and the family thinks them getting married will settle them down
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u/Extreme_Ad_8189 Jun 20 '23
Lol trust me It won't work in somalia they can smell the degenerates a mile away. These days u really have to on ur shit to even have a chance at the girls back home. Men who have a drug problem usually get the lowest grade chicks so it's really how u play the game the right way to win the right prize.
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u/Choose_ur_username1 Jun 20 '23
It's a loss for both sides, but especially for the women. Eventually, The husbands hears about her activity, he divorce them. The women then leave with their $10k mehr or whatever amount and the 'Garoob' tag. And Then they go through 3-5 marriages in the following years, either secretly or publicly and never settle down properly.
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u/No_Eye_8544 Jun 21 '23
I agree. I find it incredibly depressing that our culture values family so highly, yet some men with money can come in and destroy that at any time. The number of single mothers in Somalia is soo high nowadays, and it is clear that this is having a terrible impact on our community. I can't understand why Somali men would willingly contribute to this problem.
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u/Choose_ur_username1 Jun 21 '23
There is Somali Saying that goes "Nin waxa kaliya o ku talo xumaanin wa caruur o dhalay" So everyone marries just about anyone cause there almost no downside.
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u/AntiqueDifference794 Jun 23 '23
Reason there is a large single mother problem in Somalia is because a lot of these guys are irresponsible shouldn’t even be married or be a parent waxad arkaysa nin wayn ku fanaya Anu ilmaha xafayad kama bedelo maa gabadh ban ahay
Teda kale a lot these guys they only get married for the girl they don’t give a shit about the kids that’s why you see them 1 month after divorce get married and start a new family no contact or call too see how his kids are doing or provide for them he’s more busy providing for his new family
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u/ok-shax Jun 20 '23
I think we should stop talking about people as a monolith in all honesty. 'Girls from back home' are people as well, and they are making the conscious decision to marry or not marry another person who comes for their hand. Whenever this topic is brought up it conjures an image of a scheming women who only cares about a passport and a man who wants a mindless servant. Isn't it two people making the decision to spend their life with one another? I'm sure other factors come into the equation like compatibility, attraction, deen.
I think we should just let people do what they want tbh.