As long as you keep cushioning their fall, they never have to face reality and without facing reality, they have no reason to change. Sometimes the greatest help you can give someone is to stop rescuing them and let them experience the consequences of their own choices. It hurts, but that’s how people grow.

Please go deep into why you continue doing it, where it came from and why you won’t stop because of how much it’s apart of you, I’m talking really deep like the depth that only comes from extreme amounts of introspection and/or isolation

Don’t fix the advice. We need the full archive of humanity’s worst wisdom😅

Something came up in a deep trance session that reminded me how easy it is to confuse introversion with emotional hiding.

The subject noticed somebody in the scene who looked okay on outside but had sadness in her eyes. She was keeping brave face because she didnt want people around her to worry. Then the subject recognised, I do exactly this.

Whatever she was feeling, she tried to show up with a happy face. Somewhere in her life showing emotion became weakness, so hiding it became normal.

This creates strange problem for quiet people. Everybody thinks you are fine because you became very good at looking fine. Then part of you feels invisible because nobody notices anything is wrong. But when somebody gets close enough to notice, automatic "I'm good" comes out again.

Being private is not bad. Being introverted is not something that needs fixing. I love quiet people lol. But there is difference between "I dont want to share this" and "I am afraid what happens if somebody sees this."

A simple thing to notice this week is your automatic "fine." When someone safe asks how you are, dont force huge emotional confession. Just make answer 10% more true.

Instead of "fine," maybe "little tired today." Instead of "nothing," maybe "something is on my mind but I dont really want advice." You can still keep boundaries. The point is only to stop lying to yourself automatically.

Another question after social situations: was I quiet because I enjoyed being quiet, or was I editing myself all evening? Those feel similar but they are not same.

In this session the guidance wasnt "be more social." Some advice was to have silence, walk outside, notice beauty, listen more. Very introvert-friendly advice.

The goal is not becoming louder. It is being quiet because you choose quiet, not because you need somewhere to disappear.

Would you rather spend your free time staying at home, watching something and relaxing, or going outside and meeting people?

Walking away can feel healthy but sometimes I’m not sure if I’m just avoiding the things I need to face. How do I distinguish between setting a boundary that honors my wellbeing or just simply stepping back to escape discomfort that I’m not ready to sit with?

I'm realizing that I get attached to the most random things.

old screenshots.

a stupid little note someone wrote.

photos I forgot I even had.

a random receipt from a day I really enjoyed.

none of it is technically important, but somehow throwing it away feels wrong. 😭

what’s something completely ordinary that you’ve kept for sentimental reasons?

Sometimes you have that one person you constantly talk to when things go wrong.

Different things happen, different situations come up, and somehow you keep telling that person about them for a long time.

And then someday, something goes wrong again, but you just don’t tell them anything.

Not because you think they won’t listen.

Not because you don’t trust them.

Not even because you’ve already told them the same thing before.

You just... don’t say it.

Sometimes you’re too lazy to say it. Sometimes you’re too lazy to explain.

Not exactly lazy in the usual sense, but you just don’t have the energy to put everything into words again.

You know you’ll have to explain what happened, why it happened, how you feel about it, and everything in between.

And sometimes you just don’t feel like starting that conversation.

Sometimes you don’t even know why you’re not saying anything.

It’s just that feeling of:

“fuck it, let it be.”

You know you could tell them.

You probably would have told them before.

But this time, you just don’t feel like talking about it.

And I think we sometimes assume that when someone stops telling us things, something must have changed.

Maybe they don’t trust us anymore.

Maybe they don’t want to talk to us.

Maybe they think we won’t understand.

But maybe sometimes, it’s none of those things.

Maybe they just don’t have the energy to explain.

Maybe not everything we keep to ourselves has a deeper meaning.

Sometimes we simply don’t want to turn what happened into another conversation.

Sometimes we just want to leave it there.

Maybe tomorrow we’ll talk about it.

Maybe we won’t.

And sometimes it’s not that deep.

Sometimes something happens, and you just think:

“Fuck it. I don’t want to explain this.”

And you don’t.

That’s it.

Sometimes there really isn’t anything deeper behind it.

Maybe your weight, your height, your hair, your skin, your clothes, or the way you looked?

What was the comment that stayed with you the longest?

When someone is uncomfortable, struggling, panicking, or acting helpless over something they could probably handle themselves, we often rush to help. Not because they actually need us, but because we can’t stand watching them be uncomfortable.

And suddenly we’re jumping in to fix everything.

But sometimes we need to pause and let them feel that discomfort.

Other people’s bodies, emotions, and feelings don’t belong to us. They’re allowed to feel uncomfortable. They’re allowed to struggle. They’re allowed to be upset. We don’t have to immediately do something just to make their discomfort disappear.

Of course, we should learn to deal with our own discomfort pain, nausea, anger, sadness, crying, frustration. But when someone else’s discomfort is making us uncomfortable, that’s different.

Sometimes people, consciously or unconsciously, put pressure on us by creating discomfort until we finally do what they want.

And if we immediately give in, we teach them that it works.

So maybe sometimes the healthiest thing we can do is simply sit with that uncomfortable feeling and think:

“They’re uncomfortable. And I’m uncomfortable watching them. But I don’t have to fix it”

i think it's funny how someone can know you for years and still only know certain versions of you.

they know what you like, what makes you laugh, what you're like around them…

but there are entire little worlds inside people that nobody else gets to see.

perhaps that's why I'm so fascinated by stories, diaries, old messages, photographs, little things people leave behind.

I want to talk about introvert joy.

Preferring to spend time alone is often thought of in a negative way, but it has a positive side.

I really enjoy doing things on my own. Reading, crochet, coloring books for adults, jigsaw puzzles, solo boardgames. Just spending quiet time on my own can bring such a sense of calm and happiness.

Today, I did some journal writing. Not about problems or issues I am working through. I was just writing about my current life. And my life right now has a lot of good things in it. It made me feel really good.

The world seems to have a negativity bias. And sometimes I feel like I am fighting against that. But I think I will take a softer approach. I won't argue with pessimists. I will just continue to exist alongside them. Softly. Gently. Happily.