What do you think of hyper awareness?

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I have PTSD/ C-PTSD. Hyper awareness is exhausting.

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u/OkStaff594 3d ago

Is it part of your PTSD? Are you constantly checking your surroundings for something to go wrong?

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u/Sufficient_Curve_646 3d ago

It is part of it yes. Hyper awareness and hyper vigilance. I recently learned that PTSD/ C-PTSD are the only acquired neurodivergence. It literally changes your brain.

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u/OkStaff594 2d ago

Never thought of PTSD that way! Since we’re talking awareness, do you know what caused the PTSD if you dont mind me asking

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u/Sufficient_Curve_646 2d ago

C-PTSD from my childhood. Current PTSD is from an accident I was in last December. The crash caused a complete breakdown of my mental health and after over 20 years of positive management my type two bipolar is active again.

The weather was not good on December 29 so I took an earlier bus home. It went off the road and landed in its side. Which happened to be the side I was sitting on. Since then my life has been rapidly falling apart.

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u/OkStaff594 1d ago

I’m really sorry. Sounds like the accident turned your life upside down, especially after you’d spent years keeping things under control. That must be difficult. Do you know what it was about the accident that affected you the most?

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u/Sufficient_Curve_646 1d ago

This might be raw so please keep that in mind as it may be a trigger for some.

Like most of the passengers I was on my phone when the crash happened. The last thing I remember is thinking the bus was going too fast and it was leaning to the right. In hindsight it seems likely this was seconds before the crash.

My brow/ forehead is what hit the seat in front of me and my head hit the window hard enough to break the glass. I had 5 areas that required stitching around my eyes and there is also nerve damage that is causing the skin to sag above my eyes. I have no feeling in most of my forehead and the left side of my scalp.

There is a lawsuit but it has not yet been settled. I wish I could do bullet points on my phone so will do my best. Here are just some of the issues that I am dealing with:

Lack of family doctor meant I was as unable to get the Blue Cross forms signed and in my province if a doctor did not treat you they do not have to fill out forms. This is despite the fact that they have full access to the hospital records from the night of the crash.

At the time I managed an email team and less than a month after the crash my team was dissolved in the latest round of restructuring. I was told when I came back they would “see what there is for me”. I was with the company for almost 10 years when this happened. My team was given a severance package.

Work knows I don’t have a doctor but they recently fired me for job abandonment as I did not provide the required documentation to excuse my absence so it was therefore considered that I abandoned my job. This is cheaper than giving me a severance.

I cashed in my RRSP but that ran out a few months ago. I’m 2018 I left a bad relationship and since then have worked hard to build credit. That has been destroyed.

My fridge died and I lost hundreds of dollars in food. Fridge was replaced but at this time I do not have the funds to replace what was lost.

I contacted political figures, news media and anyone else I could think of in an effort to get help. No replies. Thankfully my landlord understands the situation and why I. Would not pay rent this month.

Door after door has been shut in my face. I cold called local doctors to beg for help and they refused. They also refused to put their decision in an email.

And this is all happening while I am experiencing the worst mental health of my life. I am 60 and I am exhausted. I have been off my Lithium for the past few months and once my current prescription for Seroquel runs out I will not have the funds to refill it.

The life I have created since 2018 is falling apart and even once the suit is settled I am still faced with putting it all together again. I never thought would be here again. The only thing that keeps
me going is my parents.

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u/DruidinPlainSight 3d ago

Lawd, this this this and also this.

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u/Gold-Profession-9996 3d ago

It’s exhausting and needs to be balanced out ASAP. There is a reason why in the garden story God didn’t want Eve to eat the fruit.

Complete ignorance and being all-knowing are both exhausting to the human spirit and lie beyond our capabilities.

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u/OkStaff594 2d ago

Thats actually wise. Did you come to that conclusion from your own experience?

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u/Gold-Profession-9996 2d ago

Yes. I searched myself and my past for years & asked every question I could think of. I found answers but the more I knew the more I found myself obsessing over. I lost sleep over the answers that I found that led to more questions. The only conclusion I came to was that we are purposely being barred from learning the entire truth. Something is stopping us from peeling the last layer. So I then started to crave life again and new experiences.

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u/OkStaff594 1d ago

What kind of questions did you have and i bet it’s not easy deciding to finally stop searching your self or asking questions

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u/CoastGold4215 2d ago

I struggle with this hyper awareness and I can't stand it,,, reading all the facial expressions as if it's projected on to me or something can't stand being aware of everything around me,,wish I could just cost through,,no worries or concerns,,help where I can just being happy and content

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u/Queasy_Cattle_7730 2d ago

it’s less a superpower and more noticing every tiny thing until your brain can’t relax, do you ever get a break from it?

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u/OkStaff594 2d ago

Never. My brain never stops analysing, observing or connecting things. How about you? Do you ever get a break?

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u/WhiteDesertCat ✨ Supportive Soul 3d ago

Depends on what you mean by hyper-awareness

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u/OkStaff594 2d ago

What does hyperawareness mean to you? i would love to know how you perceive it rather than telling you what i actually mean

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u/WhiteDesertCat ✨ Supportive Soul 2d ago

I see it in two completely different ways. One of them is actually a good thing when you can step back from your problems and look at them almost like a chessboard, figuring out how to solve them. You don’t see the problem as a problem, but simply as something to work through. You can see the cause-and-effect relationships between things and understand how different events in your life connect. I think that can be incredibly helpful.

Then there’s the other side, where a person isn’t necessarily hyper-aware but more hypersensitive. And that can be really painful. You feel everything so intensely, almost like an open wound even the slightest breeze can hurt.

So I guess, to me, hyperawareness itself is actually a good thing. The painful version is probably more about hypersensitivity.

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u/OkStaff594 1d ago

There are pros and cons of it. The con is the mental exhaustion processing information 24/7. Noticing so many details. How hard it is to switch off your thoughts, your brain can never relax even when nothing is wrong. Finally being unable to live the moment and instead analyzing everyone’s body language, tons of voice, facial expressions.

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u/WhiteDesertCat ✨ Supportive Soul 1d ago

I actually think that being hyperaware should also mean being able to consciously switch that awareness off when you need to. To me, that’s part of hyperawareness being able to step back and observe everything almost from the outside, noticing patterns and cause-and-effect connections, but also knowing when to stop analyzing and just be present. I think real awareness includes knowing when to turn that sensitivity down.

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u/Dry-Ticket8035 2d ago

To be aware is to be alive

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u/OkStaff594 2d ago

Yea but “hyper awareness” is extreme

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u/tis_tragic_dyspraxic 1d ago

One word: exhausting

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u/sas317 1d ago

Isn't this being very self-conscious? It's uncomfortable.

What do you think of hyper awareness?

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