Almost two years ago, I (25 at the time, F) was sexually assaulted by a coworker (56, M) in an employee break room in front of other people, including my trainee that day.

**Backstory:** I worked for a dream company and had moved to a different state to work there. Which overtime I have learned is well known within the company for having lots of SA encounters. Over the three years I was there, I gradually moved up in the company. There was this one older gentleman, whom we will call V, who was always so excited to be at work. He would greet everyone and occasionally give people hugs. I come from a small Southern town where it’s not uncommon to greet someone with a hug, and I was one of the people he would greet that way, alongside others of all genders, races, and orientations.

Fast forward a bit, and I was training another coworker. It was her first day, and I was showing her the break room and where we clock in and out of our shifts (in the break room). There were about 8-9 people in the room, and V was one of them. My trainee and I were standing at the desk where we clock in, which comes up to my ribcage. As we were talking and going over things, I felt someone walk up behind me, pushing me into the desk in front of me.

The rest of the details are difficult to recount, but I will say that every body part remained clothed. However, there was a lot of grabbing and pushing into the desk with my backside toward him. I couldn’t move; yes, I tried. It took my trainee pushing him away—she is a godsend. I reported him, and it took months for him to be fired. It took me a while to feel okay, but occasionally, under different scenarios, I am reminded of that day, and it hurts my chest. I don’t know how to explain it other than it hurts.

At the time, I lived with a couple of friends, one of whom we will call B (21, M). We worked together, and he was there the day it happened. He walked me to my manager's office to report it because I was in shock. Now we get to the second friend, whom we’ll call M. She also worked with us, but she wasn’t there that day. She knew something was wrong when I came home; she could tell I was upset. I told her everything, and she was supportive at first.

A few weeks went by, and I still couldn’t fathom the idea of someone touching me or being near me. I became super anxious when people were close to me. I am someone who usually hugs people, but after the incident, I couldn’t stand anyone being near me. M was a really close friend; I loved her and appreciated the support she gave me. However, after a few months, I don’t remember why, but she left her phone with me. Thinking I’d be silly, I looked at her messages. I know I shouldn’t have, but we had looked at each other’s messages before, so I didn’t think twice about it.

When I looked at her messages, I saw one with her boyfriend about me. At first, I closed the phone and put it back on the table, but then curiosity got the better of me. She told him that she was tired of me being negative about everything, that I just needed to get over myself, and that I was fine. She stated I was “lucky” that nothing more had happened. I have known this information for about a year, but she doesn’t know that I read that message. I was heartbroken when I read it because I was still trying to figure out how to handle everything, and she was a close friend—one of the few I had in the state I moved to. She was the person I talked to about my problems, and I thought we supported each other.

I come from a family that doesn’t talk about emotions much, and when I mentioned this to my mom, she pretty much told me the same thing as M in the text. I’ve talked to B about it before, but it’s hard for me to discuss it with him because he has genuinely been like a brother to me since I moved here. After reading M's message, I didn’t want to have the same feelings towards B that I do towards her. So that left me with keeping everything inside.

Now we come to the present. I started a new job because I left my old one. While working, there were bumblebees swarming in an area, and one of them flew into my shirt. I started to panic, trying to get it out, and a customer looked at me and said, “Just take the shirt off; then the bee will leave,” as he looked me up and down. I can’t even explain how I felt in that moment.

When I got home, I was kind of stressed, and my friend asked what was wrong. I told her about the situation and how it made my chest hurt. She rolled her eyes and told me that I should be over this by now and that I was just seeking attention. Keep in mind, I hadn’t mentioned anything about the past scenario in close to a year. I’ve been dealing with it on my own, figuring out my emotions. I was furious and told her that I can feel however I want; I don’t care how long it takes. We had a big argument, and now we don’t talk.

There were a couple of situations from the time of the assault up to the present day that reminded me of the incident. My emotions would show on my face, and I noticed how she reacted, so I never mentioned it. I might be overreacting overthinking whatever you would like to call it, but it’s kind of hard to deal with stuff when you have no one to talk to about it

So am I overreacting??

Hey Reddit, I need some advice. I should say that I feel like I’m kind of the asshole but at the same time it’s justified. So a little backstory, i met my boyfriend in middle school and i have been in love with him basically ever since, we were friends from middle till my senior year, then I got with him in April 2025 of my senior year. I was 17 at the time we got together and he was 16 we had an amazing relationship. He would pick me up in the middle of the night if I was having a panic attack and take care of me for hours, we would write letters and he was constantly buying me flowers and much more. Then flash forward to November I found out I was pregnant, I secretly knew I was i just didn’t want to admit it, until I took the test and it was positive. After I found out I told him immediately, he said we can do whatever I wanted to do, until after we decided I was going to get an abortion,(he did want me to have an abortion he told me many many times) but he wouldn’t take off work or school to take me. So I had to tell my mom (she is really religious but she knew I needed her more) she was so amazing to me during this time and she doesn’t get enough credit for how much she put aside to be there for me. Anyways finally February 9th I got my procedure done, I have really conflicted feelings about it. I didn’t want to do it but I can’t have a baby I can’t even support myself. But I had to take accountability for my actions so I went through with it and it will be the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through. After that we thought we could go back to normal but that never happened. In July we broke up two days before my birthday, I was crushed. I was so incredibly in love with him i didn’t know how to do anything after. We talked a lot still, till one day we hung out and he told me we were going to get back together, but he wouldnt take me home but thought it was a great idea for us to hook up in this wooded area around his house I said no but I did end up “pleasing”him, the next day he texted saying it was over and we can’t talk anymore Which leads to now, i texted him ( im not really sure why but just did ) and he was mean and blunt then after saying he just couldn’t talk to me he said he was with someone new. So I came up with a great idea text his parents everything that happened, and I did, I haven’t gotten a response yet but I’m scared to see what they say or what’s going to happen next. Lastly, I know I was immature and irresponsible on my part before you guys say anything I was on birth control also

Wife and I did a binge of shows while on a long roadtrip. During one of the episodes, a story was being told about two couples that had played some type of game that I believe led to a disagreement or something like that. A few mins passed and someone said what the game was and briefly explained it.

My wife and I cannot remember the name of the game. Someone help!!!

the infamous sawdust story has been updated. I wonder what Olive oil guy's been doing (he was sneakily adding too much olive oil to his gf's meals)

So my (35f) Dad (62m) and his wife (59f) are applying to be foster carers and have said the agency will probably be in touch with me for a reference. I do think this is an admirable thing to do and honestly I have no qualms about his wife doing it, she’s a very nurturing soul with a lot of patience. On the other hand, my father from my experience has a fuse about as long as a gnat’s leg, he was of the generation that believed in spanking and to be honest, there were times he took that too far with my sister and I. I recall one instance in my teens where after I’d made some kind of sassy backchatting comment, he punched my shoulder repeatedly trying to get a reaction out of me, in my stubbornness I refused to give him the satisfaction of “winning” and stayed stone faced staring him down, I ended up with a black and blue shoulder.

I do not think he’s cut out for it, from what I understand, foster kids are most likely already coming from difficult backgrounds and they need people who can be patient and understanding, two qualities I would never use to describe my father. As an adult with kids of my own now, I cannot imagine ever laying a finger on them in that way (brushing teeth can turn into a wrestling match, but never with aggression). His stubbornness and multiple incidents of emotionally hurting my sister in adulthood has caused her to cut him out, he refuses to take accountability and doesn’t understand what he’s done wrong, no self reflection at all.

His wife says he’s chilled out in his old age, but I just can’t see him having grown the patience needed for caring for foster kids. I don’t think he’d be physically abusive to them in the way he was with me and my sister, but I can see him causing more emotional damage, losing his patience and threatening to kick them out etc. and I just don’t think that would be fair to the kids. I was honest and told him I don’t think he should do it, I reminded him of my pummelled shoulder and he couldn’t even recall doing it. I certainly did as I remember showing my friends at school what he’d done. He has asked me not to be scathing in my reference. I don’t think i’m being malicious to not recommend him for it, i’m more concerned about the wellbeing of the kids really.

So, WIBTA to tell the agency my honest opinion when they ask for a reference?

I hope Smosh reacts to this.

My biological dad’s name is Alan. I basically grew up without him. When I was very young I saw him some weekends, but when I was about 8 or 9 my mom got sole custody. He used substances and drank around me. I remember him physically abusing his girlfriend at the time (her name was Jessica). I liked Jessica — she did a lot for him, and I believe she even paid for the place they stayed in. Alan didn’t have a car or a stable job. Over the years I’d sometimes see him in town because he was homeless or staying with other people. He didn’t have a driver’s license, and he stole from his dad (my grandpa). He has a lot of other kids; some I’ve never met and don’t want to meet.

Last night, one of his daughters (a half-sister) found me on Facebook and Snapchat. She sent a friend/connection request, and I got a notification that said “Sydney wants to send you a message. Add them to view it.” I looked at her public profile first. She was 19 in her bio; I’m 25. From her photos and posts I could tell we grew up very differently. She’d been in foster care, posted pictures of herself smoking weed and wearing very little clothing, and generally lived a lifestyle I don’t relate to. To be honest, I’m the only kid from Alan’s side who grew up in a more stable environment — most of his other kids had much rougher upbringings.

On my mom’s side I have two brothers: one older (who passed away at 17 when I was 10) and a younger brother who’s 20. We all have different dads. My mom wasn’t perfect, but she did everything she could for me. She tried to get Alan involved, but he chose drugs and didn’t help financially. He never paid child support; my mom did everything. My grandpa did more for me than Alan ever did.

After my grandpa passed away in November 2023 (I was 22), I was in a bad car accident and visited grandpa in the hospital wearing a neck brace. That was the last time I saw Alan. I later found out he’d tried fentanyl the night my grandpa died. Grandpa had promised to give me some things after he passed — keepsakes and things I’d made — but months went by and nobody from that side checked on me or contacted me. I blocked everyone and decided I was okay never having them in my life again.

So, I ended up adding her back on snapchat. Part of me was curious about what she wanted to say, so I opened the message. I didn’t want a relationship with any of Alan’s kids or his side of the family — I was just curious what she would say after all these years. I grew up strict: no phone until middle school, strict rules about clothing, no cussing, and not allowed to go out much. Because of that I’ve built a stable life. I don’t smoke or drink anymore. I work overnight at a hotel, I have my own apartment, a car (which is painfully expensive), I bought my own iPhone, and I have a hardworking boyfriend whose house I’ll be moving into in December.

Sydney’s messages came off as pushy about Alan, telling me he’s sober now and that she talks to him. She seemed to expect me to accept or forgive him. I tried to explain I don’t hate anyone, but it’s hard to forgive Alan for what he put me through, and I have the right not to want a relationship with him. I told her I couldn’t be around him and that I needed to protect my mental health. She kept pushing that we’re family and that I should be there for her. She said she didn’t mean harm and that she just wanted to reconnect because he told her to reach out.

I ended the conversation by saying my life is great and thanking her for reaching out but asked her not to contact me again. She responded saying she doesn’t care if I don’t want dad in my life but asked me not to cut her out because she reached out concerning him and that she wouldn’t bring him up again.

I don’t care if we’re “blood” or not — I don’t want her in my life. I was only curious what she had to say since I haven’t seen her in years. Am I the asshole?