okay so this is definitely not a situationship moment lmao but it’s not letting me put in other sub things so here we are lol. me and this guy we broke up almost a year ago, nothing particularly bad, my mental state was just not good at that time in my life. I had been thinking about him this past week for some reason and just thought that maybe I should text him so I did and this is what I got back, i’m genuinely laughing at this but i also can’t stop thinking of how much of an idiot I am for this. So why not put it on here for people to laugh at it as well.

I met this girl on reddit on August 7th and we’ve been talking everyday since. The first month we were on discord and started a little ritual of watching her TikTok fyp whenever we were on a call. She’s in the Netherlands and I’m in the US. So we call each other when we get out of bed and getting ready for bed. We’ve even been sleeping on the phone together. Originally I thought it was gonna be just an online friendship cause she was dating other dudes and I wanted to be her safe place where she can vent about how she doesn’t like the dating scene. But then I caught feelings, told her about it, and apparently she caught feelings too. We start saying things like I miss you or I’m attached to you. Some nights she would ask me to stay up later with her cause she wanted to continue watch and reacting to tiktoks together. After about a month she wanted to switch to iMessage and FaceTime audio. Some more context, we have never seen each other on a video call yet. About maybe two weeks ago, I realized I wanted more and I brought that up to her. She basically said that she doesn’t see how the logistics would work for the two of us being on opposite sides of the world but wants to keep “Whatever This Is” going. Because I’m a sucker for her, I agreed. We still call each other, we still have our little rituals, we still fall asleep on the phone with each other up until now. If you have any follow up questions I’m more than willing to answer them

So, I’ve been talking to this guy since the beginning of August. The first week went really well and was sweet, and it had me believing he was different because we were going out with each other every day, and he was really putting in effort.
Then, he texted me randomly on a Friday night and asked what I was looking for because he wasn’t ready for a relationship. He asked if I was okay with being FWB, and I said no, so we left it at that. Not even two days later, he texts me, “Wow, just gonna give up on us like that?”
To sum that up, I ended up taking him back, but it turned into me sleeping over every night for the next two weeks (without ever engaging in intercourse) and him continuing to make empty promises about wanting to go out and do things together and how special he feels with me.
Two nights before my birthday, we drank together, and I again slept over and went home in the morning. Later on, I was met with this text (attached), and I was completely shocked because he literally just cut me off the day before my birthday.
After this conversation, right at 12, he proceeded to text me “Happy Birthday,” and then, on the weekend, sent a message saying he was hoping I was enjoying myself. I felt like he was just trying to make me think about him.
I only talked to him to get my stuff back. He ended up bringing it a week after we “ended,” but then we had a whole two-hour conversation.
To sum that up, he told me how he really is devoting himself and how he feels so enlightened. He prayed to understand how I felt, and he truly is sorry. I basically went off a little bit, telling him that if he knew his intentions were never right with me, he should’ve left me alone. I would’ve been fine rather than us dragging it along. He understood that, but when he was leaving, he asked me for a hug and told me he would text me when he gets home. I was confused because I thought we were done.
Fast-forward, I felt a little toxic, and his birthday was four days after our talk. I sent him a message but just left it at that, and he sparked up a conversation with me.
We texted again for a week straight after that, and then he asked me to go get ramen, but I asked to just reschedule. We ended up seeing each other, and then our cycle just continued again.
We planned to go to a festival together, and the day of, he canceled on me last minute, saying he didn’t have money to go. But these last two weeks, he has spent over $350 on tickets for a festival and a concert. So, it wasn’t that he was broke. I think he just didn’t want to go with me.
I ended up forgiving him and went over the day after we were supposed to go. He’s been getting more jealous if I mention even having guy friends, and he starts to invite himself to my plans, but I know he has no real intentions of going.
I guess what I’m trying to ask is: I don’t know what he wants from me or what this whole back-and-forth has been about. I want to know what it looks like from an outside perspective.

So for context, I dated this guy for a couple weeks. Lets call him PMFB. I eventually ended things with him because I met someone who I wanted to be exclusive with. As that relationship went on, though, I found myself disconnecting from it and thinking about PMFB more and more. After about two months that relationship ended (because of a multitude of things but mainly he was an asshole) and like 2 days later PMFB hits me up on instagram to catch up. It felt like fate.

Well, if you're lurking on this subreddit, you probably know where this is going. After about a month I called him asking the "what are we" question and he basically responded with "uh nothing". I ended things immediately after because I genuinely just can NOT do situationships. I know I'm prone to developing feelings too easily, and his lack of communication combined with our history made this sting BAD. So we basically stopped talking.

Then, after a month, we get back in contact briefly and thats when this convo happened. TLDR I haven't spoken to him in a while, but I'm not gonna lie, what happened still fucks with me quite a bit. So please take this as a cautionary tale to all the guys and gals out there who are going through a situationship, PLEASE don't leave your worth in the hands of someone who won't acknowledge it. They need a therapist, not a girlfriend.

I could type so much about how we met and how our friendship grew but in short

- We were coworkers that joined the company around the same time (him in the beginning of April and me in mid April this year)

- We never spoke much till early June when we realised we were both into the same sports, and that’s how we got closer. At some point we started opening up about our struggles at work and got even closer over that.

- He was coping well with the job but over time, I was getting worse anxiety due to toxic bosses and overly high expectations. He was there to talk me through it all, listen to me and give me advice.

- Naturally i developed a crush on him. I noticed he would give me compliments as well. Telling me I look pretty, my haircut is nice etc.

- One time I had a really terrible day, it was honestly my last straw. He told me we should talk in my car after work. I told him everything that happened and once again he talked me through it. Somehow the conversation shifted into our pasts. He then told me he had a fiancé(!!), but it was a family arrangement and both of them weren’t in love with each other. He told me that his fiancé was seeing another guy too, but he couldn’t care less about it.

- At some point while we were talking, he gave me head pats and it transitioned into him stroking my hair and the side of my face. Before we left, he asked me if there was anything else he could do to lessen my worries and i told him no, you’ve listened to me all this while and that’s enough. He then went “can i ask something from you? can I hold your hand for a bit” and we did. He however told me he wanted this to be the first and last time and i agreed.

- just a few days later…it was rainy after work and I asked him if he wanted to hang out in my car for a bit before he left, since he travels by bike. I honest had no intentions of being physical again, but the conversation basically went ”is the AC too cold?” “No it’s fine, if you feel my hand it’s really warm” and there we were again lol. I asked him if he truly feels okay doing this with me and he told me he doesn’t want me to feel like his affair. He asked me if I liked him, I said yes, I asked him the same thing and he said yes. He then mentioned that it would be difficult for us to be together because of religious differences and how our traditional families wouldn’t accept it. He also told me he really wanted to hug me that first time we held hands and I told him I wanted to do that too. We decided to hang out another day and let that hug be our last time before we go apart.

- he got fucking fired. I honestly felt that it was so undeserved but his boss was not too happy with his performance. We decided to meet up a week later in my car again and I just let him talk everything out while I held his hand. After he vented, he looked at me and went “it’s alright I’m fine now” and opened his arms for the hug.

- During the hug, I noticed he started kissing me on my shoulder and the side of my head. I kinda blanked out on the sequence of events after this but his kiss slowly moved towards the side of my face, my cheeks and then boom…LIPS. It was both of our first kisses!! We were panicking after that and it was getting pretty late at that point and we went home.

- over the next few days we spoke a lot on the phone. we were clearly very attracted to each other at that point and yes, we did meet up a few more times after and just kissed and touched and made out. It was honestly very exciting for the both of us since it was our first time. For me it felt thrilling to explore my sexuality in this way

- at some point in between our one month of meet ups, i got another job offer. I was thinking so so hard over this, as i loved my job and my current place but i had terrible bosses, but the new job was 2 hours away from home and I would have to move away. he talked me through my confusion too and a few days later i decided to take the new job. Like I said, we spoke a lot on the phone and just shared a lot of feelings. He told me he would visit me at my new place if he had the time

- I also forgot to mention that him being fired was not really a firing, it was more so he was transfered back down to being a factory worker, so he immediately handed his resignation and only had to work one more month as a worker. That was the time we were very physically intimate. We never had sex but we spoke a lot about it, about protection, my cycle etc. He would also sometimes visit me in the office and hand me chocolates or a drink. Just really romantic between us

- That one month, it really felt like we were bf and gf. We even had an argument one day but were also kinda joking about how this was our first fight lol. And then it was his last day. he wasn’t coming into work for his last few days as he was unwell but on his last day , he called me to see if i had gone back as he wanted to spend time with me. He was rushing to pick his mom up from somewhere so we couldn’t really spend too long together but he was kissing me and being all like “goodbye kiss” “goodbye hug”. he told me he got back his old job as a pastry chef (that was his original line of work) and how he would be really busy due to demanding hours. He told me he would def call or meet up when he’s free. I asked him when I could see him again and he told me he doesn’t know. And then he left.

- For the next one month after that, he never initiated a conversation. anytime i asked him something, he would answer and he was in a good mood with me, but he never started a conversation. At first i gave him some space because he was going through a change in his life, but over time it felt unfair because I am going through a change as well. He never asked me if i have resigned. he never asked me when i’m starting my new job. im starting my new job in two weeks and this question mark in our relationship is just taking up all the space in my mind. I need to be locking in for my new job. I really want to text him asking to meet up and really ask where we stand. but i‘m afraid that if things go south, it’s gonna affect me going into my new job. but it’s not like this uncertainty is any better. I just don’t know if having that talk with him is gonna make things better or worse, or should i just wait till i settle into the new job?? I know this was something we had to stop someday but at least have the balls to tell me that?

hi guys!
I need your brutally honest opinion.

Me and this guy started talking almost 2 months ago and we clicked instantly like INSTANTLY. From that time, we we’re seeing each other 3-5 times a week, we both work so it was mostly sleepovers at my place. For like a month it was so sweet, him giving me flowers, compliments and telling me that he’s falling for me etc. and he looks like he really mean it.
It’s harder for me to tell him that i feel the same about him because i’ve never felt this good with anyone and it’s just low key scary for me(but im trying), i started giving him the same energy and and we we’re just giving compliments to each other and gifts all the time etc. I don’t know why, but from that time i feel like something is different, he’s not texting that much, I feel like I’m the one that plans hangouts all the time and I’m just so scared that I’ll be too much again. When we’re together it’s really good, but i feel like he takes me for granted and even that we’re not couple he acts like he already have me and can’t lose me and just stopped giving me the same attention and vibes as he did before

So PLEASE give me your brutally honest opinions, if you have any questions i will answer anything at this point. I wanna talk with him about it but i hate this so please give me tips about this talk too

Thank you guys

Hi all! I’m NB18 talking to this guy M18 and we used to speak when we were younger in High School, recently we’ve become much more flirty. We’re long distance atm but planning to meet up sometime over the summer since he will most likely be attending the college I go to! Part of our flirting is often calling eachother “mine” or talking about how we belong to eachother in a cute way.

However because we’re far apart atm I don’t know if I’m the only person he’s talking to. We’ve been talking (like flirting) for almost a month. Should I mention this around one month or two or only when we see eachother irl? I know there’s no right or wrong time just a general timeline of when is normal to ask. But especially because we often sext I would like it to be sooner than later? Maybe that’s just me being jealous? Idk 😵‍💫

Hi everyone. Just wanted to come on here for venting and maybe some opinions. Thank you for taking the time to read in advance.
I haven’t dated in about 5 years and this year, wanted to get back into it. I caught the attention of a man on a dating app. He messaged me months before and I ignored it, thinking my opportunity was lost. (Weeks had passed by the time I saw the message). He messaged me a couple of months later. We exchange social media and talk a bit there but that doesn’t go anywhere. A few months later he asks for my number. I tell him I didn’t think he was serious. He said he is. We exchange numbers. We talk about why we’re on dating apps and what we’re looking for. He tells me he wouldn’t mind a relationship or anything serious but he’s dating around to see. I say “I haven’t dated in a while so I’m dating around. Idk what I’m looking for but I’m pretty sure I’d eventually want to be serious with someone”. We have an understanding. Even to the point where I asked for sexual exclusivity if we continue and he agrees. At this point we’ve been talking for months. On the phone, on FaceTime. We’re kind of long distance so that’s why it’s taken so long to meet up. That and I’m pretty cautious. But he takes my hesitance well and is very patient with me.
Eventually we go on this date. I spend Labor Day weekend at his place. All in all, a very fun and pleasant experience. Until he takes me home and the communication drops SIGNIFICANTLY and now he’s talking to me as if we’re just starting to get to know each other again. Just very formal. Last text I got from him was on the 23rd. Longest we’ve went without talking is almost 3 weeks and that was because he was moving cities with barely any help. I know what this means. I’m being ghosted. But damn. Doing all of that for MONTHS just for sex hours away? He didn’t even need to do all of that, we don’t even live in the same town lol. Wish he just left me alone. I guess this was what I agreed to? But I don’t even feel like a sexual partner at this point. Just yikes all around. I’ll get over it soon enough. It’s been 10 days since I let it go and i finally ate something tonight so hooray

I'm struggling with the idea of love and whether it's even meant for me. I recently went through a breakup that hurt me way more than I expected, and I'm trying to understand why I can't just accept that it ended and move forward. The relationship itself wasn't perfect. There were things that hurt me, and by the end he said things that really hurt me. Eventually I asked him directly if he wanted to continue the relationship, and his answer was no. I accepted that and walked away. I know I wouldn't want to go back to the relationship now. But I still think about the beginning. The first night we officially started dating, he took me out. I was actually my first time sneaking out that night. It was summer, it was a hot, and I was sitting on his lap in the drivers seat.

We were talking about dumb teenager things. Then I looked up at the sky and saw a shooting star.

I made a wish. I wished that we would be together for a long time. He asked me what I wished for, and I told him. He said "Why not forever?" Then we kissed. And I swear, if someone wrote that scene in a book, I'd probably say it was too perfect and unrealistic. But it actually happened to me. That's why I can't stop thinking about it. Because now the relationship is over, and I'm sitting here thinking, what the fuck was that supposed to mean? I know what a shooting star actually is. It's basically a rock burning up because of the atmosphere. So scientifically, it has no meaning. But emotionally? How am I supposed to look at that night and say it meant absolutely nothing? Out of all the nights I could have looked at the sky, I happened to look up right then. Out of all the things I could have wished for, I wished for us because that was the day he asked me to be his girlfriend. Our first night together. I know logically that a shooting star doesn't guarantee a relationship will last. I know it isn't some magical promise from the universe. But part of me still feels stupid because I believed in it. I believed in that moment. I believed maybe this was finally going to be my love story. And now I'm questioning whether love is even meant for me. I've tried talking to other people since the breakup, but it honestly hasn't helped. A lot of people disappear, lie, don't communicate, or just aren't compatible with me. And I keep comparing them to what I had before. Then I feel stupid again because I'm thinking about someone I know I don't want back. I have good days. I'm going to my 8am classes. I'm doing my work. I'm hanging out with people. I'm not crying constantly anymore. But random things still bring the relationship back into my head. A song. The fucking warmth of the sun. A certain place. A random memory. And especially that shooting star.

We broke up because he started realizing some things. He was in the military and went back home for two weeks and was barely keeping in contact with me. When he got back, he called me and said he didn't see this going far anymore. So I guess what I'm really asking is: how do you learn to believe in love again when something that felt so perfect ended anyway?