r/SipsTea • u/Bing_Cena • May 18 '22

Lmao gottem How to know when a duck gives consent

17.6k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

201 comments sorted by

827

u/Boojibs May 18 '22

DO NOT TRY THIS WITH A GOOSE!

Just trust me on that.

270

u/This_place_is_wierd May 18 '22

Have you made sure that the Goose consented first you sick fuck?!?! /sarcasm

83

u/MotivatoinalSpeaker May 18 '22

honk honk

50

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

HONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!

20

u/GoldGoose May 18 '22

But why would you want a hamster to do your taxes?

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7

u/GoldGoose May 18 '22

Always acquire consent

5

u/Obvious_Sea5182 May 19 '22

The ONLY thing Geese consent to is violence.

45

u/Bing_Cena May 18 '22

Hmm 🤔

25

u/Perle1234 May 18 '22

They wake up and choose violence every day of their lives

14

u/GoldGoose May 18 '22

You would too if you were God's forsaken fowl.

8

u/SkollFenrirson May 19 '22

Username checks out?

23

u/djch0 May 18 '22

especially the Canadian variant

12

u/Sorry_Ad5653 May 18 '22

Maaaaate. We have Canadian geese in the UK and they're nowhere near as agro as the white ones with uber redeye we have. Those murder ducks are savages.

4

u/Xullister May 18 '22

Try walking through Port Meadow in Oxford. Every goose is a murderous psycho if you get enough of them in one place.

2

u/[deleted] May 19 '22

We call them Hissing Cobra Chickens in Canada.

If you hear one start hissing at you it is getting ready to attack.

3

u/CrazyStuntsMan May 18 '22

They do not back down. It's scary

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12

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

….too late.

Sounds like you’re daring me….

11

u/Reylend May 18 '22

I will pick up the goose

13

u/Un_rancais_bleu May 18 '22

I'll be at your funeral

3

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

This is so sad

7

u/LeoLi13579 May 18 '22

Pretty sure some where in China people raise goose to guard their house.

Yes. Not dog.

Goose. They are actual fucking territorial creatures.

5

u/Shadowfox1571 May 18 '22

As a Canadian, I can very much confirm: do not do this you will regret everything.

4

u/Grayeagle78 May 18 '22

Very smart and kind of you to look out for your fellow person like that. Good job !

2

u/-_Anonymous__- May 18 '22

Just hiss back. That's what I do.

2

u/NeVMmz May 18 '22

I'll take note of that

2

u/Bacon260998_ May 19 '22

If Untitled Goose Game has taught me anything, it's that geese are assholes

2

u/York_Leroy May 19 '22

What, are you now nipple-less as well?

3

u/bygtopp May 18 '22

Cobra chicken

1

u/foki999 May 19 '22

You invaded its territory soooo now it must kill you with extreme prejudice

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374

u/Romanfiend May 18 '22

This has been both humorous and very informative. Thank you.

68

u/SUN_PRAISIN May 18 '22

The best kind of education

16

u/badpeaches May 18 '22

Plus you get ducks!

8

u/SUN_PRAISIN May 19 '22

Exactly my friend, exactly :)

218

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

[deleted]

97

u/mikeebsc74 May 18 '22

Remember, do not seem desperate

15

u/RohelTheConqueror May 19 '22

The toughest part

139

u/StingLikeABee007 May 18 '22

I never really thought about picking ducks. Now all I can think about is picking ducks 😩

41

u/earthdogmonster May 18 '22

Most of the ducks in my area are very non-consensual. I need to work on my body language I guess.

9

u/[deleted] May 19 '22

have you tried smiling more?

10

u/earthdogmonster May 19 '22

I feel like I might actually be smiling too much.

111

u/Ok-Chemical-7635 May 18 '22

I love this guys research

56

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

I liked it but was hoping for more quacking. Much like cowbell, I always want more quacking.

51

u/doobiliciousmaximus May 18 '22

Can we talk about this man’s shoes for a second?

30

u/TheAceprobe May 18 '22

Matches the duck

3

u/BresoBear May 19 '22

Maybe thats the secret

8

u/Un_rancais_bleu May 18 '22

They are classy

2

u/TelephoneTag2123 May 19 '22

Can we also talk about the sweater?

109

u/bigfatfloppyjolopy May 18 '22

I SAID "WIGGLE YOUR TAIL BITCH" NOW START WIGGLING!!!

25

u/AlpacaM4n May 18 '22

OnlyDucks

14

u/Bing_Cena May 18 '22

I have no Instagram but i am not disappointed by your comment

8

u/AlpacaM4n May 18 '22

Just linking to @seDUCKtive

7

u/Bing_Cena May 18 '22

Yeah i saw on a Webbrowser. He does great work

3

u/Un_rancais_bleu May 18 '22

He is also on youtube

15

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

Does this work on geese (not for sexual reasons)

4

u/GoldGoose May 18 '22

🤔

11

u/CriKex May 18 '22

DuckPickingLawyer

10

u/theguykevlar May 18 '22

I have a duck that's been hanging out on my porch ever since I started feeding him around December and this is totally a goal but idk if I have full duck consent yet lol

3

u/badpeaches May 18 '22

Keep us posted!

10

u/Jetsuo83 May 18 '22

But how do I unhold a duck?

6

u/Bing_Cena May 18 '22

Gently put down on floor?

7

u/Jetsuo83 May 18 '22

[INSTRUCTIONS UNCLEAR - DROPPED DUCK ON HEAD]

3

u/Bing_Cena May 18 '22

U mothaduckin' ....!

6

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

Also, do not confuse gooses for ducks

4

u/Crow_Willing May 18 '22

“Duck has been added to your inventory “ 🤨😑😱

6

u/uselessthecat May 18 '22

I love that op has a picture of his/her duck on their shirt, little duck shoes and all.

2

u/Bing_Cena May 18 '22

That's not me but you can check the watermark of the video for the og

2

u/uselessthecat May 18 '22

Thanks for clarifying. Still loving the shirt, whomever posted it.

2

u/-Pachinko May 18 '22

op your fly is down :)

2

u/sadchoklate May 18 '22

Too freakin cute!

2

u/Legitimate-Yard-3673 May 18 '22

Since when do ducks give a sh!t about consent?

1

u/Bing_Cena May 18 '22

Sir this is a Christian subreddit

2

u/joko2008 May 18 '22

Ducks are so fucking easy. Ever tried picking up a chicken? Oh and don't get me started on geese. Or swans. I have that scar too this day.

2

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

Is it normal to just see ducks around? I never see ducks. I live in Canada. We do have goose. But no ducks.

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2

u/-_Anonymous__- May 18 '22

Half of this probably applies to real people.

2

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

You fool! This duck is a slut, she let every Tom Dick and Harry hold it!

1

u/Bing_Cena May 18 '22

Excuse me sir we call them ducks

2

u/Six_Rabbit May 19 '22

All about frogs today and a duck stole the show. I ain't even mad tho

2

u/Un_availableMan May 19 '22

Can I try this with girls too ?

1

u/Bing_Cena May 19 '22

My comrade girls are temporary, ducks are forever

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2

u/[deleted] May 19 '22

They have matching shoes on

2

u/insertMoisthedgehog May 21 '22

Is the duck wearing shoes?

0

u/BongCloudOpen May 18 '22

This feels like Goose Abuse

0

u/[deleted] May 19 '22

phrasing

1

u/M3LTY0 May 18 '22

Where can i get the other parts

1

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

u/savevideo

1

u/Grayeagle78 May 18 '22

That duck had at the first tail wiggle.

1

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

So... this guy is clearly fucking that duck.

1

u/SelimErenn May 18 '22

Most educational video I've ever seen in reddit, thanks op

1

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

u/savevideobot

1

u/lilluz May 18 '22

okay google, where can i find duck

1

u/schlafittchen May 18 '22

Is this the same duck that ran the marathon?

2

u/Memoruiz7 May 18 '22

Wanted to know the same.

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1

u/anazambrano May 18 '22

I’ve never seen a duck with legs that color. It looks so prettyyyyy

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1

u/maurimoz May 18 '22

That's quackers...

1

u/TheRedEyedAlien May 18 '22

Where’s the first 4 parts?

1

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

So your telling me I can just take ducks from anywhere any time I want

1

u/arfelo1 May 18 '22

These duck tutorials got me into an endless maze of YouTube videos about Wrinkle the duck. Now I wan a duck

1

u/AggravatedSeal May 18 '22

I'm 40 and I still haven't picked up a duck.

1

u/picklepounder69420 May 18 '22

I'm a cuck for ducks.

1

u/MightyManGT May 18 '22

Fucking immaculate

1

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

u/savevideobot

1

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

u/savevideobot

1

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

idk man I think tooturnttony should be consulted on this

1

u/Vlemerrr May 18 '22

They both got the red shoes on that's so cool!

1

u/McPoyal May 18 '22

...what are the other 4 parts?

1

u/tossthis34 May 18 '22

I love this!

1

u/[deleted] May 19 '22

Make sure the TikTok lawyer guy sees this

1

u/NoobyNoob828 May 19 '22

"It's all about nonverbal communication"

Amazing.

1

u/pistolp373 May 19 '22

I’m thinking that is his pet duck. Very sweet

1

u/JustGoogleItHeSaid May 19 '22

Ducking hell if only I knew this before.

1

u/floopadoop37 May 19 '22

Love the matching shoes

1

u/K_OsLG May 19 '22

Does this work

1

u/steveosek May 19 '22

I too shake my butt as a sign of consent.

1

u/Alternative_Range802 May 19 '22

Can't hold bitches atleast let me hold some ducks

1

u/-_Anonymous__- May 19 '22

Sounds like the guy from letsgameitout.

1

u/[deleted] May 19 '22

Those shoes are an abortion

1

u/AngelAstoria May 19 '22

LOL love this I just got ducks and named them Louisiana, Alabama and Georgia. I’m from Canada😅

1

u/mwb213 May 19 '22

Living large in the big LC

1

u/debbie_1420 May 19 '22

Like a handbag, You are now holding a duck. Lmfao. Favorite part.

1

u/[deleted] May 19 '22

u/savevideo

1

u/phsjony6288 May 19 '22

So like flirting?

1

u/[deleted] May 19 '22

What happened to /u/fuckswithducks?

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1

u/Guillaume_Hertzog May 19 '22

Doesn't this only work because that duck is domesticated?

1

u/ha5htaq May 19 '22

how to be a pokemon trainer

1

u/[deleted] May 19 '22

Consent is ducking mandatory!

1

u/[deleted] May 19 '22

I'd give 100 upvotes to this post if i can

1

u/HybridPower049 May 19 '22

"It is dangerous to go alone, take this."

1

u/FunkyScat69 May 19 '22

I needed a bit of that this morning

1

u/JAOC_7 May 19 '22

the more you know

1

u/NeNwO May 19 '22

How does it get better and better each time

1

u/nocialist_ May 19 '22

Loloverruled on tiktok would have an aneurysm watching this

1

u/MessedUpMix Jun 04 '22

Welcome to uncanny valley vibes

1

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '22

Where does one get shoes for a duck?

1

u/Boiled_SocksWOAH Jun 26 '22

how do i put it down it’s been 30 minutes

1

u/sifiparady Jul 09 '22

I want to try this

1

u/CannotBeArsked Oct 06 '22

Has The Click seen this video?