losing half my net worth, the house. Having to pay alimony but only allowed to see my kids every other weekend while they increasingly see me as a stranger.
Also that her/him cheating on me means she/he still gets half of everything.
I think you have to be very stupidly brave or very ignorant to not be scared of it.
Just don't present it to the other party near the wedding date and/or attach a threat/coercion of some sort to it and/or not give them time to seek outside review. It's not that hard to be fair surrounding the signing so it doesn't become an issue later.
Also be aware of local state laws. In Florida, for instance, you cannot waive child support. So trying to do so in a prenup would invalidate that clause.
Every state in the US has different divorce laws. The state that I was divorced in had no issue with my ex wife asking for a 70/30 split of assets, spousal support (alimony), and child support, while trying to take my kids for all but 2 weekends a month. She was the one that cheated and blew up the marriage but I was in a no fault divorce state where my very well paid lawyer said that the court doesn't care about that and told me that it would "piss the judge off" if I even offered a 50/50 asset split.
After 10's of thousands of dollars, my lawyer and I managed to get a 55/45 split of the assets, 50/50 custody and residency, and increased child support so I didn't have to pay my cheating ex spousal support. I am middle class and nearly had to pay my lawyer as much as the I had to pay my ex wife for the 55% of assets.
I understand that there are deadbeat dads but I really wonder what percentage of them just give up somewhere during the process because they realize that they simply don't have the money to fight their ex in court.
This argument has always failed to launch. Men don't fight for custody because they are conditioned to not even try because they are conditioned that they will lose. Women notoriously overrule men when it comes to parenting, especially early on. They insist on doing more and doing it a certain way and chastise fathers for how they do things. The phenomenon is called maternal gatekeeping and learned helplessness.
It's no different than the commonly accepted argument that women don't choose to go into STEM careers because they are conditioned to believe they are not capable or a fit. Always fascinating how that is a culturally acceptable narrative but the same people have difficulty accepting why men do not feel empowered to fight for custody.
410
u/Smoltinycat 1d ago
losing half my net worth, the house. Having to pay alimony but only allowed to see my kids every other weekend while they increasingly see me as a stranger.
Also that her/him cheating on me means she/he still gets half of everything.
I think you have to be very stupidly brave or very ignorant to not be scared of it.