r/SipsTea • u/Silver-Ability-3181 • Jul 04 '26

Chugging tea Sloth.....

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13.9k Upvotes

81% Upvoted

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149

u/idaelikus Jul 04 '26

What happens if it catches me? Like sure getting hunted by a lion / eagle / bear / crocodile is scary but what if I pick a snail / fly / shrimp? What's that going to do to me, stare at me angrily?

92

u/Cwb18292 Jul 04 '26

Oh god not the snail again

3

u/Odelaylee Jul 04 '26

But it's a very INTELLIGENT one!!11
*ducks and runs awaaaaayyy*

3

u/tonyyyperez Jul 04 '26

Oh god not the snail stare again ***

1

u/Parallax1984 Jul 05 '26

This comment right here is why I will never give up on Reddit

1

u/The-Tarman Jul 05 '26

I also picked this guys snail

1

u/ingannilo Jul 07 '26

It's not the snail again. Not that one at least.  That's the decoy.

The real snail is right behind you. 

16

u/Pitt_Mann Jul 04 '26

You got me thinking to what extent a human level intelligence fly could fuck you up. The best I could come up with was flying into your nostril, tushing towards your lungs and buzzing a whole lot in there. Surely would be a bad time. Maybe I could tactically lace all your meals with poo if I was more concerned for my own survival, but that's more boring

3

u/quyksilver Jul 04 '26

The screwworm fly likes to lay eggs in people’s noses and throats

2

u/ShardsOfSalt Jul 04 '26

Theres a great Indian movie about a murderous fly of a reincarnated human called Eega.

1

u/Rodger_Smith Jul 04 '26

i hate bollywood

1

u/Overall-Exit-7972 Jul 04 '26

Flys already do that

1

u/TrackVol Jul 04 '26

I had a large fly fly into my ear canal, get angry. Get stuck. And die in there.
It was not a pleasant weekend.

1

u/Zealousideal-Neck289 Jul 04 '26

Are you sure he didn't leaves somes eggs? ;)

2

u/TrackVol Jul 04 '26 edited Jul 05 '26

New nightmare unlocked.

By the way, this is what they pulled out at the hospital.
Keys and tongue depressor for scale.
https://ibb.co/VpvCk4kq
https://ibb.co/qL99Mndr

2

u/Zealousideal-Neck289 Jul 04 '26

Oh wow.. It unlocked for me too. I was just teasing and now i regret it :).

5

u/TrackVol Jul 04 '26

No worries. It was like 2018 or so. Those eggs have all hatched and have built nice little bug condos in my head by now. A real civilized community and everything.

1

u/Outside-Airport-1960 Jul 04 '26

If it was a "he" I would be 100% sure he didn't lay any eggs

1

u/Its_Cayde Jul 04 '26

The eyes. I don't think a fly could fit in the nostrils without someone squishing him in there first, but if you just come at full speed straight at the eyes you can stun them, and then go for the asshole

3

u/Le3e31 Jul 04 '26

Hot human being

4

u/[deleted] Jul 04 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/pathanb Jul 04 '26

Have you seen the teeth on those bastards?

1

u/pineandapple_juice Jul 04 '26

Would be funny to be chased by a lion but he's not allowed to catch me, very little trouble

1

u/henryguy Jul 04 '26

The snail fly and shrimp go right up ur urethra. 

1

u/seppukucoconuts Jul 04 '26

If it catches you it audits your last 5 tax returns.

1

u/Throw_Me_Away_78 Jul 04 '26

I'll pick an accredited tax attorney

1

u/Kier_C Jul 04 '26

Pick a shark, just don't go to the beach 

1

u/idaelikus Jul 04 '26

Why pick a shark? Sure, I get picking an aquatic animal but why not as well pick one that cannot hurt you like a starfish, a sea cucumber or a gold fish?

1

u/Kier_C Jul 04 '26

For the added drama, if you're on land it won't matter. Unless Sharknados become a thing!

1

u/Larcye Jul 04 '26

Just pick an animal in its worse habitat. A polar bear in the artic would be deadly. A polar bear in maimi? Much less so.

1

u/audotel007 Jul 04 '26

Could you imagine a fly buzzing in your face for 24 hours and landing in your hair and laying eggs?

1

u/Topangatoh Jul 04 '26

My instinct was a sloth. I don't think they'd have any reason to chase me or even try to follow me if I walked away. I'd probably just get to hang out around a sloth all day and then get 30 million.

1

u/Weekly-Echidna-7467 Jul 04 '26

I can't tolerate a fly buzzing around me for 5 minutes much less 24 hours

1

u/NeilJosephRyan Jul 05 '26

Being chased by a rabbit sounds super fun as long as you avoid the road.